


Did My Heart Love Till Now?

by Papperchains



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Gangs, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, M/M, Morally Grey Characters, OT23 (NCT), Rivalry, Smoking, Strangers to Lovers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Papperchains/pseuds/Papperchains
Summary: The first time Johnny met Ten was in a fight; two opposing gang members going head to head in a blood pumping, adrenaline filled split second encounter that, unbeknown to them, was about to change the course of their lives.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 81
Kudos: 174





	1. It Was Raining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back with a new Johnten fic!! 
> 
> I've been working on this idea for a while now, and have finally had the time and inspiration to sit down and write it. I'm so happy to finally be able to share it with you! 
> 
> The fic is somewhat inspired by a mixture of Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story and [exo Suho's mnet 2014 mv](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0DiHrJSfUs) in which Ten features as an extra. Although, you won't have to know any of the stories involved for this to make sense!! 
> 
> Thank you to Teeg for still being my wonderful beta and putting up with all my nonsensical ramblings, you are the best <33 Any other mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Also it goes without saying, but the morally grey characters that appear throughout this fic are in no way connected to the real nct members or my own opinions of them!!
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoy <33

_Bang—_

Ten’s ears tuned into the sound of the gun shot before he even registered what it meant, lungs sucking in an involuntary gasp, as his body was propelled forward and forced to the ground. His hands grazed helplessly over wet concrete — eyes wide with shock.

He couldn’t feel the pain yet, but he knew it was coming; a red haze seeping through his thin shirt and dripping like the scene of a horror movie onto the ground bellow. He watched with shuddering breaths as blood — _his blood_ — mixed with the relentless rain that fell around him, drenching his body and rendering him frozen. And that’s when he felt it, a searing heat mixing with the bone chilling ache that already resided within him and pushing a cry of agony out of his lips as his hands fumbled clumsily at his shirt buttons, failing to tare them open.

He could feel himself panicking, adrenaline making his vision pulsate as he sucked in breath after trembling breath, desperate to keep himself regulated. Was that it? Was that all his life had been for? Bad decisions followed by poor choices until he bled out on a cold wet street? A failure, just like the rest of them.

There were dark spots forming in his eyes, a dizziness that had started the moment he hit the ground threatening to take over completely. And in the distance a voice. A voice that screamed and cried and begged for him to be alright, before that too faded and Ten’s eyes rolled to the back of his head.

***

_Three months earlier._

It was raining. It was always raining in this godforsaken city; the dull grey streets seeming to remain permanently damp and air uncomfortably thick. It was the kind of depressing drizzle that settled heavily into clothing and slick over skin, turning any poor sod that decided to venture outside, into the same disgustingly clammy state that the rest of the city was in.

Johnny sighed, breathing in the damp humidity, before rolling his stiff shoulders and lighting a cigarette. It took a few attempts to get going — the moisture in the air seeping into the paper and making it difficult to burn. Eventually, however, it did catch; tobacco smouldering as smoke poured out of the stick and into his lungs. The burning sensation was a pleasant change to the otherwise sticky atmosphere, and Johnny felt himself relax into it, watching as the end of his cigarette burned orange with every inhalation. Thick, putrid clouds leaving his nose before curling up and into the night sky.

Johnny hated this. Hated being out in the middle of the night — in the middle of some dodgy back ally — trapped in some kind of fucking stand off with a bunch of mother fucking Emeralds. Especially when the weather seemed to be set to spoil the already sour mood; damp and humidity working hand in hand to rile up the two opposing gangs, and worsen any tension between them _instead_ of distilling whatever situation was _just waiting to unfold_. Johnny huffed out a sigh, exhaling a fresh lungful of smoke as he did so. _It would be better if it was actually pouring it down,_ he thought bitterly to himself wishing silently for the kind of rain that would drench you to the bone within seconds, and turn streets into rivers. The kind of rain that would quickly put a stop to this childish territory dispute, and allow both groups to head away from the scene with all their blood in their bodies, and all their fingers intact. But alas, that wasn’t going to be the case, and any chance of torrential rain, and a night in, had been replaced with a pathetic damp drizzle and what looked to be the increased likelihood of a nasty fight.

Beside him, Lee Taeyong, his close friend and recently appointed leader of Neon, lit his own cigarette — his unnaturally silver hair curling slightly in the humidity as he stared intimidatingly down at the front man of the opposition. He was fairly young to be classed as a leader, a few months younger than Johnny himself. However, when push came to shove… and shove came to _stab,_ and the last leader no longer found themselves capable of breathing, let alone leading a bunch of rough looking street kids, he had been the only one brave enough (or maybe foolish enough) to step forward. Luckily for Taeyong, what he might have lacked in age old experience, he made up for in popularity — easily gaining the same kind of respect that his predecessor had held, and even adding his own personal flare of the dramatic to the gangs personality.

Unfortunately for Johnny, this new and improved flare involved a lot more standing his ground, and going neck to neck with the Emeralds than he would ever have liked. Everything being made ten times worse, when the opposing leader got himself involved.

Kim Doyoung was another young leader, who unlike Taeyong, had inherited his power, rather than stepped up to the mark. Sliding easily into his older brothers shoes as if he’d always been there to begin with. As if he’d planned to be there all along.

There were whispers, of course, that Doyoung had been the one to do it — kill his brother that is — as some kind of sick revenge scheme or ploy to rise up in the ranks, but Johnny couldn’t help but doubt it. In fact, if it wasn’t for the frenzied acts of violence he’d seen the leader carry out during fights, Johnny would doubt he was at all suitable for the job. He was just too straight edge, too polite.

There where other whispers as well. Ones that would occasionally flutter from person to person — gang to gang — whispers that suggested Taeyong and Doyoung had been acquaintances once. Maybe even friends. Old feelings of fondness burnt like the end of a cigarette, before being discarded and replaced with a family _pride_ so deadly you began to understand why it was classed as one of the seven sins. But again, Johnny could’t help but doubt that rumour. As it was, he’d known Taeyong for most of his life, grown up as his friend, and eventually grown in trust. And at no point during this time had his friend, and now his leader, ever shown anything other than disgust and hatred towards the other gang.

“Taeyong.” Doyoung was the first to speak, chin raised high as he addressed the other man with a false air of calm. Tension crackled like electricity between them. Johnny held his breath. “Let’s get this over and done with, shall we? I’m sure you and you’re grunts don’t really want to be out here at a time like this?” The smile that appeared after his words was fake and dangerous — his lips pulling back into a grimace and revealing a set of pearly white teeth. Doyoung never was one to do his own dirty work, much more happy to stand back and observe from the sidelines rather than step in… unless he _really_ had to, of course.

On the other side of the clearing, Taeyong bristled at his words. He never did conceal his anger well: “Kim.” He spat, speaking the others name with such venom that it was bound to leave a nasty taste behind. “You and I both know why we’re here.”

“Would this have something to do with the warehouse over in the north district?” Doyoung asked, playing dumb as Taeyong continued to smoulder. “Because I think we all know who was in the wrong with that one.” At his words Johnny winced internally, side eyeing Taeyong before turning his glare on the opposition.

“Yes. I believe we do.” Taeyong grit out, taking a step forward and thrusting his cigarette accusingly in Doyoung’s direction. “The north district has always been Neon’s territory. Care to explain why some of _your_ boys were spotted there?” As he spoke, the cigarette butt that he’d been holding delicately between his fingers, was flicked towards Doyoung; ash falling onto his shoe and embers dying out on the rain damp floor.

Doyoung didn’t even flinch, smile somehow becoming more sickly as he opened his mouth to speak again: “No, Taeyong.” He shook his head, “I think you’ll find the north district was never really yours… and it’s about time it was returned, don’t you agree?”

That was the last straw for Taeyong, the anger he’d only just been controlling boiling over. His eyes narrowed, lips pulling back into a snarl as a sharp silver blade seemed to materialise in a _blink-and-you’ll-miss-it_ moment. He lunged forward, aiming his knife at Doyoung’s throat in one lightening quick swipe. Of course, it was never that easy, and before Taeyong could get anywhere near the gang leader, a much larger, much stronger member of the Emeralds, who Johnny recognised to be Doyoung’s top body guard Lucas, got in between them, fist curled as he aimed a punch towards Taeyong. Johnny, as always, had been expecting this — easily manoeuvring himself in front of Taeyong and stopping the attack with a perfectly practiced block. Because two could play at that game, and Johnny knew for a fact that despite Doyoung’s favourite body guard being big, Johnny still had a significant hight advantage over him.

And then they were off. Emeralds and Neons going head to head — neck to neck — fist to fist, as the fight went under way. It was a nasty business really, two groups of grown men throwing themselves into motion as if their lives depended on it. Which in all actuality, they did, Johnny already dodging sharp blades as the opposition began to fight dirty, what could have been kept as a simple punch up, quickly spiralling into dangerous territory.

Not to say that the only way to get hurt was from the enemy, however. Johnny having bared witnessed one too many times, just how easily your own team could turn against you, if they felt you were’t bringing the fight. It was this reason that kept them all going, cries of pain muffled by gritted teeth and fists clenched and ready to attack at a moments notice. 

This wasn’t what Johnny would class as a real fight. It was all pretend — all for show. Just to prove to the other gang that they had what it took to defend their pride and their territory. It was a fight without any threat. The worst injuries likely to be no more than a couple of busted knuckles and shallow cuts. Not that it made it any easier, Johnny still having to stay quick on his feet in order to avoid the swinging fists and slashing blades that were aimed at him left, right and centre.

He had just knocked one guy out, watching his unconscious body slide to the ground as he aimed a powerful kick at the approaching enemy, when he was pushed off course, head whipping around and coming face to face with his new attacker. What he saw staring back, sent a flicker of shock through his system, fists unclenching as he frowned at the person in front of him. Because standing there, lips twisted into a crooked smile and eyes locked hard onto Johnny was a man who had to be at least half his size — gaze wild, and body ready to attack once again. He was quite petite, shoulder’s narrow and body delicate, with a face that suggested he’d never taken part in a fight before and a stance that proved this to be true. “You seem scared.” He laughed, aiming his taunt at Johnny as he waited for him to retaliate, “Whats wrong? Worried you’re gonna lose?”

“Please,” Johnny scoffed, turning his back on the enemy and moving himself further into the fight, “one hit and you’d be out cold.” He stated, eyes scanning around the clearing as he tried to locate Taeyong — after all, it was important he stayed close to his side.

He didn’t manage to take more than a few steps away, however, before the stranger was attacking again, nimble fingers fisting his hair as he dragged him backwards and into a headlock. “Sorry, what was that?” He teased, “I though I heard you underestimating me?” It wasn’t hard for Johnny to twist free, using his hight advantage to shove the smaller away from him and into a group of oncoming gang members. He didn’t wait around to watch them tumble, using the fresh spark of irritation to push him back into the thick of the fight.

Things seemed to continue like that for the next few minutes, Johnny working to put an end to the fighting as he dodged and blocked and evaded the multiple attacks that this newcomer aimed at him; mind sharp to his every movement as he continued to keep his distance. He didn’t need this… this... _distraction,_ finding the whole ordeal especially irritating as the stranger and he seemed to dance around each other — defending and attacking in perfect synchronicity as the rest of the fight went on without them.

There was a moment when he was sure he had him, fist closing on thin air as the stranger spun around and arched towards his face — hand, that had been previously empty, now brandishing a weapon. The next few seconds seemed to pass in slow motion, Johnny’s eyes widening ever so slightly as his body failed to react in time; the blade the man was holding sliced into his cheek in one quick movement.

Johnny winced, fingers twitching to his face as his eyes grew hard. Maybe this guy was more experienced than he’d first believed… the way he thew himself at Johnny suggesting he knew exactly how to take down someone bigger than him. And someone with a lot of fighting experience at that. It had been a long time since Johnny had had a fight like this, even longer since he’d been equally matched — the strangers laughter lighting a fire within him and kicking him into action.

That was when Johnny caught him. Using all the force he had left inside him he grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, flip knife amid at his jugular while his arm pinned the fucker down — full strength keeping him in place. He was panting hard, hair an unruly mess, cheek stinging from where the man’s blade had got him. He smiled: it was the kind of smile that would normally send a shiver down the spines of even his most fearsome enemies. A bone chilling, sick grin that said: _I’ve got you now, mother fucker. Try getting out of this one._

However, and much to Johnny’s annoyance, the man in his grip didn’t look scared at all. In fact, as they stood there nose to fucking nose, breath ghosting over skin; instead of trembling, or begging to be let go, the asshole smirked. His eyes fluttered, lashes landing delicately against his cheeks as his jaw fell slack: “ _Fuck,_ ” He breathed out, gaze flicking up and landing on Johnny. His lips (that Johnny couldn’t help but notice, had been split. Undoubtably by one of his well aimed punches), continued to curl upwards; blood painting them in an almost beautiful hue of red. “A real gentleman would at least tell me their name before fucking me up like this…” he teased eyes flicking not at all subtly down to Johnnys lips as he continued to speak, “Although… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying this. Do you know how _boring_ it can get when everyone treats you like a peace of fine porcelain?” He flirted, hand that had been gripping Johnny’s wrist tightening almost painfully — his sharp fingernails surely leaving crescent shaped grooves in his skin. Johnny applied a little more pressure, gritting his teeth as in front of him, the strangers smirk turned into a grin that could rival his own. “Mmmh, yeah. _Just like that baby,_ I want to remember this come the morning.” He was teasing him. Flirting words and smirking lips making fun of the situation, and trying to rile him up. And, much to Johnny’s dismay… it was working.

He was about to snap back a reply, eyes narrowing as his heart beat fast, from more than just the adrenaline of the fight rushing through his veins, when someone in the background called out to him: “Johnny! We could do with a little help over here, man.” It was Mark, him and Yuta quickly becoming cornered as Doyoung’s men surrounded them from all sides and began to close in.

With the momentary lack of concentration, Johnny’s grip on the man bellow him loosened, giving the stranger all the time and momentum he needed in order to successfully switch their positions, pressing the point of his blade into the curve of Johnny’s stomach and his elbow into his windpipe. “Johnny, is it?” He questioned, words snapping Johnny’s attention back to him as he continued to smirk, now from his new upper hand. He didn’t wait for Johnny to reply, knowing full well that he’d hit the nail on the head by the way his jaw clenched. “Well, Johnny,” he continued to drawl, somehow managing to press even closer into his personal space as he whispered lowly into Johnny’s ear, “thanks for the thrill. I, for one, won’t be forgetting you any time soon. Until next time.” And with that, he was pulling away, pressing a perfectly blood stained kiss again his cut cheek, but otherwise leaving him completely unscathed.

He seemed to disappear then; lost to the fight and slipping between the mass of tumbling bodies until the memory of his lips, and speckles of blood were the only thing remaining of him.

Finding himself a little dumbfounded, Johnny just blinked. His back was still pressed firmly against the hard brick wall, as the roar of the fight filtered back into his senses — he hadn’t realised that he’d ever stopped hearing it, but there it was again: loud, angry, asking for blood to be spilt — a jarring juxtaposition to the soft breathy words still echoing in his mind. _I won’t be forgetting you any time soon_ … no… Johnny gulped, he wouldn’t be forgetting the other man either. 

A loud curse from Mark brought him back to his scenes, fog clearing and completely leaving his brain as he dived back into action and away from the lingering memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one done! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!! I plan on updating this weekly if I can, so please look forward to more soon~~


	2. Temptations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, here's chapter two! 
> 
> The title for this chapter comes from Boa's song by the same name, my Beta told me it went really well with the content of the chapter and after listening to it I had to agree!!

“How the Fuck did we let this happen?” Taeyong yelled, slamming the door that led to his office behind him and beginning to pace the length of the room. He was pissed off, that much was obvious, all Johnny could hope was that he wasn’t pissed off with him.

What had started as a fight without threat, had escalated quickly. The whole situation became painfully clear that Taeyong and his gang weren’t going to be the ones emerging victoriously, before the night was even up. “I mean the whole of the north district!” He lamented, aiming a kick at the wall before chucking his blood stained jacket onto the back of his chair. It wasn’t his blood, the leader of Neon escaping with only a black eye to suggest that he’d ever even been in a fight to begin with. That, of course, was more than could be said for Doyoung. The head of the opposition not only leaving with the keys to the north district, but also without a single mark against his perfect complexion — a fact that only served to piss Taeyong off even further.

Collapsing into the same chair as his jacket, Taeyong tipped his head back, long fingers massaging away at the ache in his temples while his eyes remained screwed shut.

It had been a long night, each hour seeming to stretch on for days, before finally reaching five a.m.. Neither Johnny or he had slept in the last twenty-four hours, the tiredness leaving them both strung out and desperate for a break. Despite his exhaustion, Johnny couldn’t bring himself to leave; head pounding and cheek still stinging, but body rooted to the spot. It seemed pointless to go home, selfish even. As if he’d be letting the team down when they still had so much work to do. So he stayed, eyes following Taeyong across the room as he tried to ignore the way the cut burned beneath his skin — the outline of the strangers lips still visible to any observant on lookers.

Losing the north district was a huge blow to Neon, especially against the Emeralds — the rival gang being weaker in the past, and definitely dwindling in numbers compared to them. Yet that night, they’d been destroyed. Completely and utterly destroyed. Each member being knocked down a peg as they escaped the situation with their lives in tact, but their pride in tatters. It was embarrassing to say the least, and Johnny was already dreading what the future might hold for them.

“I mean,” Taeyong sighed, voice cracking slightly with the effort to keep it stable, “all that goddamn territory… do you know how long it took for us to get that in the first place?”

Johnny did know — he’d been there throughout the entire process. Each sleepless night. Each dispute. They’d lost a lot in the process, but they had been assured it wold be worth it… Johnny wasn’t so sure if that was the case anymore. “We can get it back.” He stated, voice sounding grave and hoarse even to his own ears.

“We can get it back,” Taeyong repeated, uncertainty echoing out of every word. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. We’ll get it back.” He said again, shaking his head as if to clear it of fog, before sending Johnny a tired but genuine smile. “What happened to your face?” He added seconds later, eyebrows pulling into a frown as he seemed to take in his friends appearance for the first time that morning.

“Uh,” Johnny blinked, fingers moving automatically to trace as the upraised line, “I just wasn’t quick enough.” He supplied with a half shrug, “You know how it is, with the amount of people swinging at you, you’re bound to make a mistake at some point.” He finished, deciding to keep his story vague as to not have to explain how he got his ass kicked by a guy half his size.

“Do you think you’ll need stitches?” Asked Taeyong, voice sounding genuinely concerned as he began to reach for his phone, the number of the gang’s medical expert Dejun already on speed dial.

“No,” Johnny shook his head, “It’s just a shallow cut, if I’m lucky the scar won’t even be that visible.”

“Oh god, _not a scar…_ ” Taeyong deadpanned, face twisting into a mirth filled grin as he poked fun at Johnny’s vanity, “What the hell are we gonna do if the one and only John Suh is left with a visible mark on his flawless complexion?”

“I think I deserve compensation!” Johnny joined in, pushing Taeyong’s arm in a playful manner as his friend began to laugh. It was at times like these, that Johnny could almost forget who they were; mind traveling back to when they were just young kids without a future and without a worry. It had been simpler then, when no one expected anything of them, before Taeyong got wrapped up in all the gang business and before Johnny followed blindly along. If Johnny was being honest, he missed those times a lot… the sheer possibility of what they could have become haunting him as he lay awake, bloodshot eyes tracing the stains on his bedroom ceiling.

Things had changed a lot since then. They were no longer kids for a start, Taeyong was no longer the taller of the two, and they were no longer free to be who they wanted. A painful fact that became all too clear as Taeyong’s laughter quickly quieted down: “It’s fine,” He nodded, more to himself than to Johnny, “Whoever did that to you, we’ll be sure to make them pay.”

Standing in front of him, Johnny repressed the urge to gulp — reverting himself back to the mindless grunt he had taught himself to be. There was something in Taeyong’s words, a darkness, that didn’t sit quite right with Johnny. The idea of doing anything to get revenge on the man from the fight making him nauseous and a little dizzy. Instead of voicing this, he kept his mouth firmly shut, giving Taeyong his most convincing nod as he willed himself not to be sick.

“You look rough…” Taeyong sighed, pushing his reluctant body up out of his chair, in order drag himself over to Johnny, “Go home for the night, there’s nothing more we can do right now but recover from the fight, and I can’t see either of us doing that here. Tomorrow’s a new day,” he stated, stretching his arms above his head before grabbing his jacket, “things are bound to make more sense once we’ve had some sleep.”

Johnny hoped he was right, letting out a hum of agreement as he too forced his body into action.

***

Regardless of how tired he was, Johnny was still unable to sleep when he finally sunk into his mattress, mind whirring with thoughts and images of the past few hours. His cheek still stung, Johnny having cleaned and sterilised the cut before heading to sleep — and it was the pain that kept him up now, brain relaying his encounter with the unknown man over and over in his head.

There were a few things he couldn’t shake about him: how skilled he was as a fighter, the way he targeted Johnny despite how obviously unmatched they should have been, the fact that he was sure he’d never seen the guy before (and he thought he knew everyone), and finally, how difficult it was to get him off his mind. It was that last one that plagued him the most, Johnny tossing and turning in the stuffy heat of his bedroom while he tried to think of anything else but the mystery stranger. In the end, it was no use; Johnny eventually slipping into a feverish dream that featured catlike features and bloodstained lips.

***

There was a strange hush to the place, when Johnny entered the main warehouse the next day, different members of Neon keeping their heads down and whispering among each other as the light of a new day shone onto the dull brick walls. Morale was low among the members, and it was going to take a real miracle to boost it.

Johnny, who had managed to get a restless four hours of sleep the night before, arrived at ten a.m., gazing around the room with narrowed eyes as he looked for someone reliable to speak to: “What’s going on?” He eventually whispered to Mark, sliding up to his side and pretending to study a piece of blank paper, as he waited for the younger to talk.

“People aren’t too happy about yesterday.” He explained, “They’ve been doubting Taeyong’s leadership… I think they’re pretty pissed off by everything that happened.”

“Oh yeah?” Johnny nodded, not sounding in the least bit surprised, “And what do you think?”  
  
  


“Me?” Mark squeaked, almost spilling his mug of coffee as widened his eyes in surprise.

“I’m not gonna tell him,” Johnny rolled his eyes, “I just want to hear from someone in the know.”

“Well…” Mark seemed to battle internally with himself for a moment before letting out a sigh, “I wouldn’t say I doubt him exactly… but it was kinda soul crushing to lose the whole of the north district, and, quite a few of us got injured and well, I think we all would have rather that didn’t happen.”

“Good answer,” Johnny laughed, patting Mark on his shoulder before stepping away, “but no one here has a reason to doubt, okay? Me and Taeyong are already discussing plans for how to get our streets back, it will only be a matter of time before everything that should be ours, is back in our possession.” He assured, spilling his white lies with a louder than usual tone of voice, and watching as the entire room seemed to turn towards him, no doubt taking his words in and accepting them as fact. He flashed a smile to the room, internally gritting his teeth as he hoped for a miracle to make his statement even a little bit truer than it actually was.

Thankfully for him, it seemed someone in the universe listened, Johnny making his way towards where he knew he’d find Taeyong, when the main doors burst open, and someone rushed in: “Everyone!” It was Jisung, the youngest member of Neon. He pushed his way into the centre of the room, panting hard as the rest of the gang crowded around him.

“What is it?” Taeyong demanded, his office door swinging open at the sound of Jisung’s arrival, as he too made his way into the centre of the room. The whispers that had been circulating through the members died as soon as he appeared, the entire warehouse falling into silence.

“I just heard news from Taeil,” Jisung panted, “according to his intel, the Emeralds are planning on throwing a celebratory party at the north district warehouse tonight. It’s a huge event, by the sound of things, with multiple groups from all over the city being invited.”

“The cocky bastards,” Taeyong cursed, clenching his fist as if ready to start another fight right there, right then. “How did Taeil find out? Was it a secure line? Can we be one-hundred percent sure this wasn’t a false message to lure us into some kind of trap?” He asked, mind traveling a mile a minute as he addressed the young man.

“He didn’t say how he knows,” Jisung shook his head, “But he told me it was real, and that he could get the details sent over.” 

As he spoke, Johnny felt his phone buzz in his pocket; quickly pulling it out and glancing over the message Taeil had sent: “It’s a masked ball,” he laughed, unbelieving of just how lucky they had gotten, “to protect their anonymity I assume. Talk about stealing your flare of the dramatic, Yong.” He joked, sending a wink in Taeyong’s direction, when the leader only scowled.

“Surely it can’t be that easy?” Piped up Jaehyun, a member who had been around for almost as long as Taeyong and Johnny had — and another one of Johnny’s close friends. He was a kind man, someone that upon first impressions, Johnny would never suspect would be involved with something like this; but being kind didn’t take away from the fact that he could be completely brutal when he needed to be. Channeling his energy into the fast paced, bad tempered person Johnny recognised from all the fights they’d been in. For the most part, however, Jaehyun liked to keep himself to himself, quietly working on his individual tasks and training while the rest of the warehouse moved around him.

“It’s worth a shot…” Taeyong murmured, spinning on his heals to face Johnny, while he beckoned Jaehyun over with a twitch of his finger. “I’m sending you two,” he stated, not allowing either of them to disagree as he jumped into the explanation. “The event starts at ten, I’m sure they’ll be expecting us, so don’t arrive till at least eleven, I wan’t to see you both here first, and I’m gonna give you the rest of the day to get ready. You need to blend in, so think carefully about what you wear. They’re doing this to spite us, I just know it. So we need to use it against them.”

Johnny and Jaehyun shared a glance, nodding sharply in Taeyong’s direction before heading for the exit of the building. It had been a while since Johnny had been sent to an event like this, Taeyong normally electing one of their younger… more _disposable_ members to go instead. It must be important, Johnny thought to himself, if it was Jaehyun and himself being sent there instead. He tried to ignore the way his stomach dropped at the thought of being outnumbered for the night, silently hoping that Taeyong would at least think to send some kind of lookout, or back up, while they were risking themselves at the party.

***

Ten-thirty p.m. rolled around, and once again Johnny found himself standing in their warehouse, this time dressed in an overly flamboyant outfit, with an overly flamboyant mask to match. He felt a little ridiculous, if he was being honest, the ruffles of his shirt, falling loosely across his chest and making him a little self conscious.

The mask he had decided on, wasn’t much better: an array of peacock feathers framed his eyes — blocking his face enough that any onlooker would have to stare hard to find out who he was. He had opted for a half face covering, guessing that the majority of guest would also go for that, and not wanting to stand out for the wrong reasons, but even so he couldn’t help but feel a little exposed. There was no denying that this event would be risky, and he was relying on feathers, and flouncy shirts, to protect him from on looking eyes...

To his side, Jaehyun was dressed much in the same way, his outfit finished off with a midnight blue velvet jacket, that matched perfectly to the colour of his own mask, and artfully slicked back hair. They hadn’t said a word to each other yet, sharing a quick nod, before turning their attention back to Taeyong.

“Okay,” Taeyong started, assessing their outfits with a critical eye as he paced back and forth between them, “We need to use this night to our advantage. You need to go in under the pretence of being real guests, I’ve spoken to Taeil, he’s managed to grab you both an invite so it shouldn’t be an issue getting in, however, if all else fails, you know the warehouse well, take one of the back entrances if you have to. This shouldn’t be a dangerous night,” _shouldn’t_ being the operative, “you are guests there after all, and from what I can tell the Emeralds are gonna be letting their hair down, but just incase, I want you to be armed.” He stated, acting as if Johnny wasn’t already prepared for every possible bad outcome. “With what you’re wearing you shouldn’t have a problem fitting in, so all I ask of you is to mingle. Get a couple of Emeralds drunk and try and get some information out of them, you know: about their future plans, or maybe the fight. If you think you’re being recognised, get out of there, but if not, keep pushing until they spill something.”

“Alright,” Johnny nodded, allowing the plan to sink in, and feeling marginally better about the whole ordeal. Sure, going to a party on enemy territory was still pretty low on his wish list, but it was a party at the end of the night, and a part of Johnny could hardly wait to get out and forget about the ordeal they had all been through over the last couple of days, even if it did mean fraternising with the enemy for a few blissful hours.

To his side, Jaehyun just nodded, taking the invitation from Taeyong’s hand and scanning over it. “Should be fun,” He added nonchalantly, slipping the card into his pocket, and sending a dopey grin towards Taeyong.

“Yeah, well I don’t care what you get up to in there, just make sure you have something to tell me by the morning. Got it?”

“Yes boss,” They both replied, Johnny shooting Taeyong a salute as they finally made their move to leave.

***

The party was already in full swing by the time Johnny and Jaehyun arrived, loud music pumping from within the building and filling the street with that kind of anticipation that only came from an event like this.

Johnny pulled up to a quiet side street a couple of blocks away, switching off the ignition and sticking the keys into his pocked. It was the perfect location for a speedy getaway, should they need it, the black car perfectly camouflaged by the shadows of night, and hidden from the view of any passers by. “You ready for this?” He asked, fastening the mask around his face, and smoothing down his shirt before glancing at Jaehyun.

“Are you?” Jaehyun asked back, stubbing out his cigarette in the car ash tray while he waited for Johnny to reply.

For a moment, the car was full of smoke, the hazy fumes clouding Johnny’s vision and giving him a moment to hide from everything that was about to go down. “As I’ll ever be.” He replied with a shrug, pushing his car door open and breathing in the cold night air.

It had been raining earlier on; the puddles on the tarmac reflecting the lights that bounced out of the warehouse windows and into Johnny’s eyes.

The closer they got to the venue, the busier it became: party goers laughing, drinking and smoking outside while the music continued to blast at a deafening volume from behind the doors. Johnny and Jaehyun made their way towards the entrance, walking with confidence as they slipped between hidden faces and unrecognisable bodies, before moving to push open the the double doors.

“Can I see your invitations?” Said a voice that Johnny could easily recognise belonged to Lucas —Doyoung’s favourite body guard obviously still on duty, despite the sharp suit and elegant mask that he was adorned in.

“Yeah, of course man.” Jaehyun replied cheerily, the two of them revealing the invitations and flashing them in front of the doorman.

Lucas seemed satisfied with what they showed him, nodding once before opening the doors. “Enjoy the night.”

“Oh, we will.” Johnny agreed, patting Lucas firmly on the arm as both he and Jaehyun slipped inside.

There was something very thrilling about being unknown in enemy territory, Johnny keeping an eye out for familiar faces as they made their way into the room and in turn, into the thick of the party. A bubble of excitement bloomed in his chest as he looked around, mind wondering absentmindedly whether or not the man from the fight would be there too. He wasn’t even sure just where that thought came from, shaking his head to rid himself the memories, before directing his attention to Jaehyun: “What do you want to do then? Should we mingle with some of the guests or go straight for the Emeralds? We’ve already seen Lucas, the others must be close.”

“Honestly man,” Jaehyun shrugged, leading them past the dancing bodies and towards what looked to be a makeshift bar in the far corner, “I kinda just want to have a drink first. If we go in straight away asking questions to just anyone chances are we’re gonna get nothing. Gotta look like we’re part of the party first.”

He had a point. Johnny rolled his eyes, accepting the drink that Jaehyun passed his way and taking a large gulp. For a moment his mind flashed to the car parked out back, reminding himself not to get too pissed, unless they wanted to walk home at the end of it all. The thought was gone again with his second sip, Johnny letting the alcohol soothe his worries as he allowed himself to really smile for the first time in weeks.

Things became easier after that, him and Jaehyun mixing with the dancers and working their way into the different social circles. They started off with some of the guests — most likely well known, but unattached people who would love to hide behind a mask and let loose with a local gang for a few hours.

It was amazing how much people liked to talked when they thought they were anonymous. When they felt they were invincible. And Johnny was more than happy to let them talk, charming his way into conversations with an easy smile here and a flirtatious comment there. He was good at this, and he knew it — understanding perfectly how to mix with total strangers, until everyone saw him as trustworthy. It was a talent of his, something he could do long before he’d followed Taeyong into the shadows and long before the two of them had risen up the ranks, his past as a street kid with nothing better to do catching up with him and becoming one of his best assets. And nowhere was this more true than in the middle of a party.

Johnny and Jaehyun had been talking to a group of people, the two of them laughing and chatting about the party, when a different person approached.

The newcomer was a tall, thin man, dressed in a black suit, with a mask that obscured his entire face. He paused for a moment, seeming to asses the group before slinging an arm around the shoulders of one of the guests, and joining into the conversation as if he’d been there all along. Johnny could almost guess who it was by the posture alone, mind zoning in on a single name: Sicheng. One of Doyoung’s closest men, and one of the big names on Neon’s database. Johnny smiled, aiming a friendly question at the man as other members of Emerald began to incorporate themselves into the conversation, Johnny’s eyes flicking around the circles as he made a note of who he saw. There was Jungwoo, a bright, but undeniably strong individual, he was technically the medic of the group, but Johnny knew from experience that he packed a good punch; Donghyuck, who’s big smile should not be underestimated; and Renjun a young man who Johnny new little to no dirt about. The three of them were being shadowed by some of the newer, or younger members of the gang, Johnny already catching sight of three less familiar faces, before he was aiming his attention back to the the original member: “This place is great!” He called over the music, raising his drink when Sicheng just nodded, “It’s good to see it back in the rightful ownership, don’t you think.”

“It is,” Sicheng agreed, sliding his mask up onto the top of his head in order to take a sip of his own drink, “we fought hard for it.”

“That’s not what I heard,” Jaehyun laughed, acting the part as he slipped in next to Sicheng, easily taking to spot of the person who had been there before, “I heard you won with minimal effort. People are saying the others never stood a chance against you, and here I though they were supposed to be the big guys.”

“Is that what you’ve heard?” Sicheng asked, turning his attention towards Jaehyun as he continued to nurse his drink.

“It can be if you want it to be.” Jaehyun offered, clinking his glass against Sicheng’s as he spoke.

“Huh, I like you.” Sicheng smirked, “What did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t,” Jaehyun laughed. “What was it you were saying about the fight?”

_Smooth,_ Johnny thought with a roll of his eyes, smiling at one of the other Emerald members as he continued to observe the conversation.

Somehow, Sicheng fell for the change in subject, seeming more than happy to be talking about himself again as he launched into action. He started by retelling the story of the fight, going into great detail with just how predictable Neon were, and lamenting how easy it had been to beat them down. This went on for the next few minutes, Johnny noting the irritation in Jaehyun’s body language as the conversation continued on without end. However, just when he thought his undercover partner could take no more, fingers holding the glass in the hand with a white knuckle grip, Sicheng dropped his tone, leaning a little closer to the people in the group as if his next words were for their ears only. “Of course, we weren’t expecting Ten to show up.” He stated, rolling his eyes to the back of his head while to his side, another member let out a groan.

“Don’t even get me started on that.”

“Why, what happened?” Johnny found himself asking, ears suddenly pricked with interest as he tuned back into the conversation.

“Ten… you don’t know him? Well he’s the only son of one of the old bosses. I’m talking about one of the very first leaders of the Emeralds. He was a scary guy, but family always came first and when he and his wife had a son he took a step back from this life. Although that’s not to say he wasn’t still involved. I mean, I grew up with Ten, we were kids together and we worked our way into the gang together, but because of Ten’s ‘status’, if you like, things were always a little different. Anyway, flash forward a few years and the old boss isn’t doing so good, he’s in a bit of trouble and has a lot of debt and its pretty clear he’s not gonna be around for much longer. So, he turns to the new leader — Doyoung’s brother at the time — and says: _When I’m gone, keep Ten safe._ And I guess you could say we’ve all kept that promise pretty seriously. Well, everyone except Ten, that is.” Sicheng explained, finishing his drink, and instantly getting his glass refilled. “I swear that guy has a death wish or something, I mean he hasn’t been taken along to a dispute since before his old man kicked it, yet he thinks he can just show up on the night and get away with it. I’m telling you, if the guy he was fighting didn’t want to kill him Doyoung sure would.”

“What happened to him?” Jaehyun asked, egging Sicheng on with a perfect smile.

“Nothing!” Sicheng laughed out of disbelief, “Doyoung gave him a hard time, but at the end of the day there’s nothing he can do. Once an Emerald, always an Emerald. We’re under the command not to let anything happen to Ten, and that means from us too. Besides, he’s the same age as Doyoung, so Ten won’t listen to him unless they’re regarded as equals. I think the only thing the boss actually did was bar him from the party, but we all know that won’t stop him. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s here already.” The few other Emerald members who had slipped into the conversation let out murmurs of agreement, before breaking up the group and moving onto the next interesting thing.

Johnny and Jaehyun both nodded along, eyes meeting over the group for a second, before the two were turning away.

“Leaving so soon?” Johnny heard Sicheng say to Jaehyun.

“For now,” Jaehyun agreed, lips pulling into a smirk before he was spinning away.

Johnny didn’t pay either of them much attention, slipping into the party and looking out for anyone else worth talking to. Right at that moment, however, he was feeling pretty pleased with himself, keeping the information Sicheng had shared locked in his mind as he breathed a sigh of relief that he’d at least have one thing of importance to relay to Taeyong.

The Emeralds had a weak link.

Things became a little hazy after that: drinks mixing, crowd spinning and music flowing in hypnotic beats. Feeling his muscles relax in his usually tense body, Johnny allowed himself to have a little fun, forgetting about the job for a few minutes as he danced his way through the crowd.

Naturally it was then, just as Johnny let his guard down for a moment, that he caught sight of a person to the side of the room. He halted his movement, neck twisting to get a better view of the other man as he watched him weave through the mass of dancing bodies.

An uncomfortable jolt of familiarity flooded his body, heart rate speeding up against his will, while he continued to stare. It was him. _It had to be him_ — the same guy from before — the very same person that had slashed Johnny across the cheek not even twenty-four hours ago. He was leith, confident, and undeniably gorgeous as he moved his way from person to person, body flowing to the music as his simple, yet undeniably alluring outfit sparkled hypnotically in the shining lights — the sheer fabric of his shirt not leaving much to the imagination. Johnny felt himself take a step forwards, desperately trying to look past the feathers and sequins, to the delicate features that hadn’t left his mind since that fateful night.

No, he couldn’t be mistaken, it had to be him; All lean and beautiful and effortless. His mere presence seeming to pull Johnny’s attention towards him, leading him away from where Jaehyun had been dancing and instead over to the stranger.

The moment he stepped forward, the man seemed to slip away, glancing around himself before sliding seamlessly into the shadows. Intrigued to just where he was heading, Johnny couldn’t help but follow, managing to avoid needless conversations by keeping his eyes locked on the man from the fight and slipping silently through the crowed.

It didn’t take long to find him again, Johnny zeroing in on his whereabouts just as the stranger was paying for his first drink.

“I’ll have what he’s having.” Johnny spoke as he slid up to the bar, propping one of his elbows against the surface as he waited for the man to face him.

From the other side of the bar, the bartender just grunted, pouring out an identical drink and handing it over. Johnny payed quickly, taking his first sip and smiling to himself when the person next to him finally turned around: “You’re a little far from your territory. Aren’t you, Johnny?” He whispered, shining eyes visible behind his mask as he pressed himself a little closer to Johnny.

“So you remember me?”

“I said I would, didn’t I? Do I seem like the kind of person to lie about that?”

“I would never suggest such a thing.” Johnny disagreed, turning so that he was leaning with his back pressed against the bar, eyes trailing from the man by his side, and over the heads of the rest of the crowd.

“I should really alert one of the guys to you being here, you know.” The stranger mused to himself, mirroring Johnny’s position as he clinked their glasses together.

“Ah, but you won’t.”

“So confident… what makes you think that?” 

“Well,” Johnny hummed, resting his eyes on the man as a smirk flickered onto his lips, “what would be the fun in that?”

“Oh, you know me so well already.” The stranger laughed, downing the remainder of his drink in one shot, as he wrapped his delicate fingers around Johnny’s wrist, “Might as well make the most of this situation, don’t you think?” He grinned, beckoning Johnny forward with a tug of his hand as he began to back himself into the crowd, “Come on Johnny, let’s have some fun!” Downing the rest of his drink, Johnny didn’t hesitate to follow him, an undeniable eagerness blooming inside him as he made his way forward.

Fun, according to the stranger, involved a lot of dancing; Johnny quickly finding himself back in the crush of people, but this time, with a pair of slender arms wrapped flirtatiously around his neck.

“I gotta say, it’s pretty gutsy of you to be here tonight.” Said the man, his lips ghosting against Johnny’s jaw and sending shivers of anticipation through his body.

“Is it?” Johnny deadpanned, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh you’re a funny one, are you?” He laughed, pulling back slightly in order to fix Johnny with a mischievous grin. “So I take it you’re aware that Doyoung is probably watching over the entire party right now.”

“ _Sure_ … is that why you were skulking in the shadows then?” Johnny teased back, pulling the stranger just that little bit closer as his hands gripped securely onto his narrow waist.

“Yes, actually.” The stranger agreed, “I’m not really supposed to be here.”

“You and me both.” Johnny murmured, failing to control the stutter of his breath as the man threaded this fingers into his hair, pulling him down until their lips were mere inches apart.

They were pressed impossibly close, the stranger practically grinding against him as they moved with the flow of the crowd. “Is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” He teased. Each exhale was hot against Johnny’s skin, the tightly packed dance floor leaving little space between them as Johnny felt himself falling — desperate to rid themselves of the last few centimetres they had left.

A voice in his head warned him that he was taking things too far, the cold dread of paranoia threatening to creep up his spine at the thought that Doyoung really could be somewhere in the warehouse, narrowed eyes watching each of their intimate movements. But he pushed it away, instead allowing the desire rushing through his blood to dull his anxieties, and heighten his senses; moving him closer as the other man pushed himself up onto his toes, ready to meet Johnny in the kiss they both so obviously wanted.

Fate, however, didn’t seem to be on their side that night, as before their lips had even had a chance to touch, a loud shout boomed from somewhere on the other side of the room, followed by the unmistakable sound of smashing glass.

For a moment, the room seemed to fall silent, Johnny and the stranger ripping apart from one another just in time to watch the party fall into chaos. There were more shouts from the same area of the room, guests pushing to get to exits, yells of anger being followed by shrikes of fear as the Emeralds rushed to take control of the situation.

“ _Fuck…_ ” Johnny swore loudly, the uneasiness settling in his stomach telling him this probably had something to do with Jaehyun. He raised his head, scanning the crowd as best as he could, but not spotting him anywhere within the disarray of the party. It wasn’t long before his uneasiness was turning to nauseousness, Johnny finding himself automatically pulling the stranger closer as if to cover him from the madness around him — _as if_ he couldn’t hold his own perfectly well in a fight.

He was about to speak again, mind racing with locating Jaehyun and keeping out of sight, when he became aware of the man in his arms pulling away: “I gotta go,” whispered the stranger, “shit, they’re gonna see me, I’ve really got to get out of here.”

“You’re leaving?” Johnny stated dumbly, head whipping away from the direction he’d been gazing as the words sunk in.

“Yes, and you should be too. Jesus Christ Johnny, stop hanging around and get the fuck out of here!”

“But what about you?” Johnny countered, fingers staying locked in place, as the other man began to pull them through the crowd.

“What about me?”

“I mean, are you in danger? Can I do anything to help?”

“No,” he shook his head, “just getting out of here in one piece will be enough.”

“I don’t even know your name.” He exclaimed, the realisation that he might never see the stranger again, hitting him like a ton of brinks, “you know me, but I’m still in the dark about you. Please. I have to know.”

Somehow, his bordering on pathetic begging seemed to strike a chord with the other man, Johnny watching with his heart in his mouth as the stranger halted his movement and finally turned to face Johnny. For a moment he just looked at him, his eyes portraying a strange mix of emotions from behind the sequins and feathers of his mask. But then he was moving again — forward this time — unfastening his disguise in one fluid motion and pressing himself tight into Johnny’s space. “You can call me Ten.” He stated, voice low and breathy as his teeth moved teasingly close to Johnny’s earlobe, catching sharply on the rings he wore there. Then he was pulling away, but not before pressing a chased, yet wonderful kiss against his lips; the unexpected action leaving Johnny a little desperate for more.

A part of him, and a big part at that, wished he could just stay in that moment — screw the party and screw getting out in time, just so he could memorise the feeling of Ten’s lips against his. But his more logical side knew better than that, putting Ten’s name to the story in his head, and realising exactly what kind of shit would go down if he was caught, and more importantly caught in this compromising position with Johnny — the enemy. So instead of holding on any longer, he let go, watching with an unreadable expression as Ten slipped out of his grip with a small, sad smile, and back into the shadows.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there then, just watching the empty space in front of him, until he was literally pulled back to his senses, by a hand on the back of his shirt: “Johnny, fuck there you are. Come on, they know we’re here, we’ve got to leave now!” The urgency in Jaehyun’s voice seemed to cut through the static in Johnny’s brain like a sharp knife, pulling everything back into focus as they scrambled to get to the front doors.

Johnny didn’t look back as he left, eyes on the street ahead as his mind hoped silently for Ten’s safety — knowing full well that the other man would be far away from the warehouse and the party by that point.

The two of them made it back to the car in minutes, Jaehyun barreling Johnny into the passenger seat before sliding himself behind the wheel: “Shit, that was close!” He laughed, jamming the keys in the ignition and stamping his feet on the pedals. He was grinning a little too maniacally for someone who had just narrowly escaped an out numbered battle, and Johnny couldn’t help but wonder just how over the limit he was while they sped out of the side street and onto the main road. 

“What the fuck happened?” He demanded, using the same voice Taeyong would use to try and assert some dominance over the situation, despite his mind being on a constant loop of everything Ten.

“I don’t know man. It was all going fine, and then suddenly one guy just clocked me as someone from Neon and shit really hit the fan.” He explained, ripping off his mask as he spoke and chucking it into the back seat.

“Did they know it was you?”

“I don’t think so…” He shook his head, not sounding as positive as Johnny would have liked. “Where the hell were you anyway? I swore I looked away for one second and then the next thing I know you had completely vanished.”

“I… I was… just socialising… you know like the plan.” Stuttered Johnny, his poor delivery not going unnoticed by Jaehyun’s gaze.

“Look you don’t have to lie,” he stated, “if you hooked up with someone you can just say. I wouldn’t rat you out to Taeyong for it.”

“I didn’t—” Johnny started, not getting a proper chance to defend himself before Jaehyun was dismissing him with a wave.

“Like I said, it’s not a problem.” He reiterated, “We still got some information at least. I’m sure Yong would be really interested to hear all about this Ten guy.”

“Uh yeah.” Johnny gulped, trying to ignore the lump in his throat that formed at the mention of dragging him into this mess; and knowing full well he didn’t have a choice now anyway. Instead he just balled his hands into fists, eyes gazing out the window as they sped through the city streets and towards the home base.

There were two things he was sure about, as his mind replayed the memories of his night for the nth time since entering the car: Ten, was a lot more interesting than he liked to let on, and Johnny, was thoroughly screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this update, and I'll see you in the next one~~


	3. This Must Be Thursday

The roads were kind to them, and they made it back to the main warehouse in very good time, pushing themselves through the entrance and right into the waiting stare of Taeyong.

Their boss was standing by the door of his office, surveying the area around him with a meticulous eye. “You’re back early.” He stated rather matter of factly, beckoning the two of them forwards with a tilt of his head, before settling into his chair.

“We had to leave,” was the first thing Jaehyun said, as they made it into the office room, the adrenaline that was still pumping through his veins keeping him moving as he shifted from foot to foot. Johnny envied his energy, feeling his own levels dip to almost nothing as his two long days caught up with him. The time on Taeyong’s clock read three a.m., and the only place Johnny wanted to be was safe in his bed.

“And why’s that?” Taeyong asked, lighting up a cigarette and chucking the packet along with his lighter towards Johnny. He didn’t waste any time before he was doing the same thing, easing his tired body back into one of the other seats, as the office slowly filled with smoke.

“Because they saw me.” Jaehyun admitted, head hanging low as he waited for Taeyong’s explosion.

“Right,” their boss sighed, breathing out a long sigh of smoke as he pinched the bridge of his nose. The explosion that they were both expecting, however, never arrived; Taeyong shaking his head before speaking again: “Did you at least get any information?” He asked, exhaustion suddenly audible in every word he said — it seemed they weren’t the only ones who had had a long day, and Johnny couldn’t help but wonder whether the leader of Neon had slept at all since the fight.

“Yes, we did!” Jaehyun nodded eagerly, “Turns out Sicheng has a bit of a loose mouth when he’s had a lot to drink. The guy wouldn’t stop talking once he got going.” Jaehyun laughed, clearing his throat and getting back on topic, when the look Taeyong sent him was less-than-impressed. “Anyway, it seems the Emeralds have a bit of a weak link by the name of Ten.”

“Ten?” Taeyong questioned, “Who is that? The name sounds familiar.”

“He’s the only son of one of the first bosses,” Jaehyun continued, “and the gang’s been under strict rules to protect him ever since his father died. Except this Ten guy seems to have a bit of a taste for danger, and likes to break these rules regularly. Apparently he was even present at the fight the other day, the only problem is none of us have any clue who he is, or what he looks like. So it’s gonna be difficult to locate him.”

Johnny, who had been sitting quietly for the entire conversation, felt his stomach churn. He was torn. Torn between his loyalty to his family — to Neon. And torn between the unexpected, but undoubtably intense want to protect the person he’d been dancing with less than an hour ago, the memory of his lips against his seared into his mind. In the end, all it took was a particularly pointed look from Taeyong, before the words were tumbling out without his permission: “I know who he is.” He croaked, clearing his throat before repeating himself, “I know who Ten is.”

“You do?” Jaehyun spluttered, turning to face Johnny with confusion in his eyes as Taeyong continued to watch quietly form his desk.

“Yeah,” Johnny nodded, regretting every word that slipped passed his lips, “I fought him the other night.” He explained, running his fingers absentmindedly against the already scabbing cut on his cheek. “He’s quick, and obviously knows what he’s doing, but he’s small. With enough preparation it would be easy to take him down.” He wished he could stop talking, mind screaming at him to shut the fuck up while Taeyong’s gaze spurred him on. The cigarette that was held between his fingers burnt a little at his skin, he took one more shuddering drag before grinding it into the already full ashtray.

“Good,” Taeyong nodded, a cold smile forming on his face as he took in what Johnny had just said. “Yes, this is really good news. Well done, both of you. I knew I could rely on you two.” He praised, standing up from his chair in order to place a friendly pat against both of their shoulders. “We can use this to our advantage.” Johnny really, didn’t like the sound of that, swallowing the bile that had formed in his throat before pushing himself up from his own seat.

“Alright. Well if we’re done here, am I free to go?” He asked, yawning loudly as if to prove just how tired he was, as he edged his way towards the door.

“Of course,” Taeyong agreed with a nod of his head, “In fact, you’ve worked hard Johnny, you can have the next few days off. Just be back here with more energy for the shipment arrangement on Thursday.”

“Yes boss,” Johnny agreed, giving him a finger salute before leaving the room.

***

Johnny spent the days leading up to his next job, refusing to do a thing. He kept himself to himself: relaxing in his apartment, sleeping off his exhaustion and smoking on his balcony. He also did a lot of thinking, mind working to unpick everything he knew about Ten, as he tried to understand his own emotional reaction to the other man.

In the end, he’d come to the conclusion that it meant nothing — _Ten meant nothing_ — trying to push this thought to the front of his mind even as scenes from the party replayed themselves like a movie in his head.

Truth be told, Johnny had never wanted to kiss someone he’d fought against like that before. In fact, if he was being brutally honest, he’d never wanted to kiss someone as much as he had wanted to kiss Ten before; the sheer desperation sitting as a heavy reminder in his chest. Again, he tried to ignore it, putting his reaction down to the excitement of the party, and Ten’s flirtatious advances. Still, he couldn’t deny that it had happened, knowing full well that if they hadn’t been interrupted, Jaehyun’s sarcastic comment about him hooking up with someone might have been a lot less fictitious than he’d like to admit. 

Thursday came around too soon, and before Johnny knew it, he was back on his familiar journey to the warehouse. It was a cold but bright day, the sun almost peeking through the thin layer of white cloud as Johnny arrived at the morning briefing.

On first glances, everything seemed to be working like normal, Johnny stopping to say hi to a few of the members as he breathed out a sigh of relief. He never really knew what was going to happen, on the days he was away, hoping silently that he wouldn’t return to a full blown mutiny and a bunch of angry people to deal with. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case today, Johnny getting the whole low down of what little had happened over the week from Shotaro, as he climbed the stairs to Taeyong’s office and stepped inside.

“Taeyong,” he greeted as he entered the office space, sliding himself down into the chair on the other side of the desk, and crossing his leg over his knee, “I’m glad to see the place has survived without me.” He joked, earning nothing more than a snort from Taeyong, who continued to focus on his work.

“Don’t worry,” he began, “If there was even the tiniest sign of trouble, you would have been the first person I called.” He was scribbling something down, head bent low over his desk as his pen scrawled out a set of delicate words.

“You working on something?” Johnny asked, leaning a little forward in his seat to try and get a better view.

“These are your directions,” Taeyong explained, finally finishing with the piece of paper as he handed it over to Johnny. “The plan’s changed a little and you can no longer discus the order where you usually do. They’ve moved workshops and have very specific instructions about where and when they will be willing to meet you.

Other than claiming territory, and going head to head with opposing gangs, the main thing Neon did to earn themselves money was in trading. Johnny, in all the years he’d been part of the main group, had seen all sorts of expensive and interesting items come through the doors of the warehouse, before being sold on for a small fortune. There had been drugs, jewels, stolen possessions, expensive cars, and of course weapons — the once small time gang making a big name for themselves over the years as the people you went to if you needed something specific, and needed it fast.

One of Johnny’s jobs, and probably the one he enjoyed the most, was to meet with the traders before hand, and talk deals. The routine was simple: Johnny, dressed up in something sharp and well tailored, would meet the trader in the afternoon, normally somewhere semi public where neither one of them could risk making a scene. There, they would discus options and prices before setting a time and date to collect the shipment of whatever goods had been decided upon. Then, it was out of Johnny’s hands, Taeyong usually sending a team of younger members to be their delivery men with a big reward in mind if they promised to make no trouble for anyone. It was easy, and relatively straight forward, the only thing Johnny found he really had to worry about being losing out on a good deal to a stingy trader.

Most importantly, the job payed well. It was _astounding_ what lengths those in a position of power, who had money at their disposal, would go to, when they wanted to own something. Astounding, and a little unnerving, Johnny sometimes envying the rest of the general public, and their ignorance to just how annoyingly rich the majority of the cities money makers were.

That day was a little different however; Johnny making his way into the heart of the city with a location of a completely different meeting point memorised in his head. Taeyong had assured him it was safe, telling him that the only reason it had even been changed in the first place was because of a security issue. But that fact alone wasn’t gonna put him at ease, Johnny made sure he was prepared for whatever might be heading his way before he set off.

It was early evening, rays of warm sunshine pushing their way through the clouds and illuminating the streets. It was quiet and beautiful, and Johnny found he was almost relaxed as he rounded the corners that would eventually lead to the new meeting point.

In front of him stood a tall office building. It looked empty, and relatively disused, Johnny eyed it carefully before entering. If anything was about to happen, he’d be sure to take the whole place down with him.

Thankfully, and true to Taeyong’s word, the meeting went smoothly, the trader that agreed to talk with Johnny explaining the change in location and thanking him for choosing to trust them still: “We had a security breach,” he admitted, “Nothing terrible, I promise none of our contacts have been jeopardised or anything like that, but we felt a little exposed with what we had decided over the phone.”

“It’s fine,” Johnny agreed with an easy smile, taking pity on the obviously nervous man as he slid the papers forward for Johnny to sign. “And thank you, for agreeing to knock off some of the original price.”

“Ah, well anything for one of our regulars.” The man agreed with a nod, taking the papers back and checking them through one last time before standing up with his arm outstretched. “Thank you for your business, Mr Suh. Again, sorry about the change of plans. We will be in touch when your shipment is ready.”

“Thank you,” Johnny confirmed, taking the man’s hand in a firm shake before stepping away, “we’ll anticipate your call.” And with that, he was done, slipping back into the office building's elevator and out onto the street.

He was just making his way back around the corner, readying himself to meet the rush of evening commuters, when a body knocked with force into his side. “What the—” he began, spinning on his heals as his fingers clasped around the knife in his pocked, and he came face to face with none other than Ten himself. “Ten…?” He startled, relaxing his stance again as Ten finally looked up to see who he’d collided with.

“ _Shit,_ ” he swore under his breath, “I swear I can’t go anywhere without running into someone I know.”

“Avoiding your members again?” Johnny asked a little playfully, falling into pace beside Ten as the two off them set off walking once more.

“Kinda, but honestly this has nothing to do with the gang or work or any of that. I was just out.”

“You were just _out…_ ” Johnny repeated, his delivery letting Ten know just how little he believed his statement.

“Do you think I’m lying?” Ten demanded, turning to face Johnny with a glimmer of something dangerous in his eyes as he spoke.

“No no,” Johnny back tracked with a grin, “I just think you’re being suspiciously vague, that’s all.”

At this Ten laughed — _really laughed_ , head tipping back and eyes scrunching closed as if what Johnny had just said was the funniest thing he’d heard in a long time: “Well forgive me, Johnny, if I don’t want to tell my _sworn enemy_ exactly where I was planning on heading when I accidentally bump into them. I mean what kind of fucking idiot do you take me for? For all I know, you’re sending my location to your boss as we speak.”

“No,” Johnny disagreed, “I wont tell Taeyong that I saw you today,” he said, surprising himself with just how true that statement was. A feeling of guilt stirred inside him — the pang of worry telling him he’d already said too much. 

“You won’t?” And now even Ten sounded shocked, his eyes blinking as he stared up at Johnny through fluttering lashes. He seemed different from the other times Johnny had seen him, posture smaller, stance calmer — as if the fight from the last too meetings had left him completely and was instead replaced with a personality that Johnny would have said fit the man perfectly, if he hadn’t seen the guy in action (and had the scar to prove it).

“Do you think I’m lying?” He asked, repeating the same phrase Ten had used not minutes ago and feeling his heart soar when his words once again pulled a laugh out of him.

“Are you free right now?” Ten asked, question seeming to tumble carelessly out of his lips.

“Am I free?”

“Yes!” Ten laughed, “Has no one ever invited you out before?” He joked, pushing Johnny’s arm playfully as he did so.

Johnny shook his head, “No, it’s not that,” he argued, “I’m just trying to work out what it is you’re expecting me to say?”

“Well, a ‘yes’ would be a good start.” Ten shrugged, smile growing wider as Johnny just continued to look bewildered.

There was a moment when Johnny paused, mind ticking over Ten’s request as he tried to untangle his own thoughts: “Taeyong and Doyoung probably wouldn’t be very happy if they found out about this.” He stated, rather matter-of-factly, his brain already doing the sums and working out that he had exactly four hours to kill before he was expected to be back at the main warehouse.

“That goes without saying,” Ten agreed, the undeniable truth not seeming to put him off in anyway. “But Tell me this, Johnny:” He continued, moving himself just that little bit closer as he watched Johnny’s brain short circuit, “are you gonna let them have all the fun?”

“What exactly did you have in mind?” Johnny shot back, his eyes locking onto Ten’s with a challenging stare, as he waited for him to make his next move.

***

“So where exactly were you heading when you collided with me?” Johnny asked, leaning himself forward on his seat and propping his chin onto his hands. It had been less than an hour since they first met up, and Ten’s idea of taking Johnny somewhere went no further than the nearest coffee shop, the two of them sinking into one of the corner tables and ordering matching iced coffees as the afternoon ticked on without them. It was a nice place, one that Johnny had passed several times on his visits to the city centre, but never had enough time on his hands to enjoy as a guest. The walls were a pale blue in colour, the large window that fronted the shop letting in an abundance of natural light (even on a cloudy day) and creating a bright mood as they chatted together.

“First things first, I think you’ll find _you_ were the one who collided with me.” Ten began his argument, raising his chin in defiance while he cocked an eyebrow in Johnny’s direction, “And to answer your question, why the fuck should I tell you where I was going. Can’t a guy go somewhere without having to explain himself?”

“Fair point,” Johnny agreed with a grin, eyes slipping down to his coffee. He took another sip.

“I was actually just heading here.” Ten added a moment later, cheeks staining a subtle pink as he let out his admission. “Anyway, what about you? Why are you dressed up so nice on a random Thursday afternoon? Are you going some place fancy, or do you normally wear this kind of attire?”

“Oh this?” Johnny asked, smoothing his fingers over his perfectly tailored jacket as if to show off just how expensive it made him look, “It’s just for work.”

“Work?” Ten raised his eyebrows, “Are you on a job right now?”

“No,” Johnny dismissed with a shake of his head, “I _was_ on a job, but it had already finished when we bumped into each other, I was actually just gonna head back to my place before checking in with Taeyong this evening.”

“I see,” acknowledged Ten, “seems your owner keeps you on quite a long lead.”

“Taeyong doesn’t own me.” Johnny shot back, gaze hardening as he sent a glare in Ten’s direction.

“Sure he doesn’t.” Ten deadpanned, “You only answer to his every beckon call…”

“Oh and what does that make you? Disobedient? Look Ten, I know _exactly_ what your group think about you, don’t try and rile me up with all that shit. Taeyong was my friend long before he was the leader of Neon, if anything, he probably sees me as his equal.” Johnny knew the words were bullshit long before they left his mouth; being fully aware of just how much he had slipped in Taeyong’s mind since he’d stepped up to the mark. First friends, then colleagues, then what? Just another grunt to put to work?

“Whatever helps you sleep at night…” Ten snickered, poking Johnny’s arm across the table in the way a person with a death wish might poke a lion.

Johnny, however, didn’t bite. Instead he just let out a long sigh, taking a gulp of coffee before talking again: “No,” he shook his head, “you’re probably right. I don’t think Taeyong has seen us as equals for months now.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Ten apologised, words sounding a lot more genuine than Johnny was expecting. “Take it from someone who understands: it’s a lot easier to know exactly who is and who isn’t against you, rather than stay dangerously comfortable in your own disillusions.”

“Are the Emeralds that vocal about just how much you piss them off?”

“No,” Ten shook his head with a laugh, “but they don’t do a very good job hiding it either. Besides, if it wasn’t for my father’s stupid request I would be long gone from there by now.”

“You mean, you want out?”

“Who doesn’t?” Ten scoffed, “have you seriously never thought about it? You’re telling me that if you had the opportunity to get the fuck away from this life and just be boringly normal, you wouldn’t grab it by both hands and hold on as tightly as you could?”

Johnny had thought about that — in fact he’d thought about it a lot, mind filling up with all the possibilities that were out there, if only he had chosen another path. A part of him couldn’t even begin to picture it, being a member of Neon had been his life since he was just a teenager, he’d grown up with the guys and made himself a home there, the idea of leaving it all behind, no matter how much he wanted to from time to time, just sounded impossible. His future plans had never even once come into conversation, and by that point, Johnny just assuming he would stick it out with the others until death came knocking; not even considering that he might have other options.

“I can see I’ve given you a bit to think about.” Ten spoke again, cutting Johnny out of his thoughts and pulling him back into the conversation. “Let’s change the subject a little: did you enjoy the party the other night?”

“The party?” Johnny blinked, getting whiplash from the speed at which the conversation turned.

“You know, it's pretty lucky you managed to get out when you did. Yangyang, one of the only members that still gives me information, was telling me all about it, _as if I hadn’t been there to see it myself_ ,” He snorted, “But anyway, he told me Doyoung had been pretty pissed to find you there, although I don’t know how true that actually rings because lets be honest, an event like that, I’m kind surprised more of you didn’t crash it. I think Doyoung was just looking for an excuse to get angry, and honestly, if you had been there for any second longer, he would have taken it out on you there and then.” Johnny wasn’t too surprised to hear that, reminding himself to thank Jaehyun for getting them out of there as quickly as they did. 

“What about you? I take it you made it out all right.”

Ten nodded, “You’d better believe it, baby.” He winked, lips pulling back and revealing his perfectly straight teeth when his words pulled a snort out of Johnny, “The distraction you made really helped me slip out of there, no one even knows I snuck in.”

“That’s a relief,” Johnny laughed, “you know, as stupid as this might be to admit, I actually had a lot of fun that night.” He stated, eyes breaking their contact with Ten as the easy confession slipped out. “I mean, despite everything that could have happened, and all the messiness at the end.”

“Me too,” Ten jumped in, “I’m really glad I ran into you… you make things… interesting.”

“Interesting?” Johnny laughed.

“Yeah,” Ten nodded, “I’ve never met someone who’s fought with me one day, and then kissed me the next… It made for a nice change.” There was no hint of laughter or embarrassment as he spoke, voice sounding strangely soft as his words hit Johnny directly in the chest.

He watched Ten for a moment, taking in his small smile and warm gaze as his mind was instantly taken back to that evening. The party — Ten — dancing — kissing. It all felt so far away now, yet the memories where still so fresh. Opening his mouth, he tried to come up with something cleaver to say: “I believe you were the one to kiss me that night.” Was what he eventually settled on, heat prickling under his skin as he realised just how dumb he’d sounded.

“Are you keeping some kind of score or something?” Ten grinned, shaking his head but not looking in the least but pissed off by what Johnny had said. “But regardless, my point still stands. You’re a little different to the other members of Neon, I’m not sure exactly what it is yet, but the fact that you haven’t tried to kill me on sight during any of our meetings so far, makes me think you’re not all that bad.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Johnny smiled, flicking his eyes over Ten and trying to commit the moment to his memory.

“You should,” Ten agreed, grin splitting his face. He glanced his eyes away, and if Johnny didn’t know any better, he would almost say he seemed bashful.

***

They stayed like that for the next couple of hours, chatting and laughing and slowly but surely getting to know each other outside of their respective gangs. It turned out Ten was a bit of an artist, loving the creativity and freedom he felt while producing his beautiful drawings or abstract paintings, and dreaming of another life where he could do that for a living, “It makes me happy,” he stated, “and it’s the one thing Doyoung can’t force me to stop… besides it keeps me out the way, art has been the one thing by my side throughout everything.”

In turn, Johnny told Ten all about his secret love for music, lamenting its beauty and its importance to his day to day life. “When I was young, my family couldn’t afford much, which was how I fell into Neon, you know, it was an easy way to make ends meet from a young age — especially after I left home. But I remember, there was this one woman, an old friend of my mom’s, and she had this piano in her house. I was always drawn to it as a child, so she taught me how to play. It was only the basics,” he admitted, “but even when she moved away, I never lost my love for it.”

By that point in the day, the sun was well on its way to setting: yellow golds and hints of green lighting up the thick grey sky from a parting within the clouds. It looked as if it was going to rain, Johnny realised, repressing the urge to sigh at the predictability of the weather.

Ten, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice. He watched the sunset out the window with a wistful look on his face, skin glowing in the same golden hue as he smiled at the disappearing light, “I should leave soon.” He sighed, speaking almost absentmindedly as he continued to gaze at the sky.

“So should I.” Johnny hummed in agreement, his own eyes taking in Ten in all his glory. He willed his body to move him up and out of his seat, noting his obvious reluctance to leave Ten and the little coffee shop behind: “My car’s just down the road from here, can I give you a lift somewhere?” He asked a little hopefully, grasping on to any new idea that would keep them together for a few minutes longer.

“I don’t think so,” Ten chuckled, laugh sounding strange and distant as if the last thing he wanted to do was reject Johnny’s offer. “We both know why that would be a terrible idea. I mean, for all I know you’re gonna relay all this information to your boss, or worse bundle me into the back of your car and deliver me yourself. No chance Johnny.” He was joking, trying to make light of a situation that they both knew should be true.

Nodding Johnny let out a chuckle of his own: “Yeah, you’re right… probably a terrible idea. I mean for all I know you’ll give me directions straight to Doyoung or attack me while I’m trying to drive.”

“Its probably just better if we go our separate ways.”

“Right,” Johnny swallowed thickly, wishing Ten’s words didn’t cut him so obviously to his core, “glad to know we’re on the same page.” And with that, he was standing up, patting his pockets to double check he had everything (keys, phone, wallet, knife — check) and heading towards the exit with Ten in tow.

The two of them had just made it outside — un-placable silence falling between them as they readied themselves to say goodbye when, just as Johnny predicted, it began to rain; the clouds that had been hanging dark and threateningly in the sky all evening, choosing that exact moment to open.

Watching the rain from under the cover of the cafe’s door, Ten let out a laugh, tipping his head up to the sky as he breathed out a barely audible sigh: “On second thoughts…” he grinned, nodding for Johnny to lead the way to his car, as the rain seemed to get heavier. “Just don’t make me fucking regret this.”

“You have my word,” Johnny promised, eyes flicking from Ten, to the street ahead as he lead them out into the rain.

***

True to Johnny’s word, his car was parked just a few streets down from the coffee shop, the two of them managing to stay mostly dry as they they rushed like a pair of overexcited teenagers through the streets. Johnny was laughing as he reached his car, opening his door at the same time as Ten slid into the passenger seat.

“The last time I ran like that,” Ten panted, his skin glistening with droplets of rain as he grinned over at Johnny, “I was trying to get away from a group of very angry people.” They were both laughing, eyes locked on each other as the rain continued to hammer down onto the car. Johnny felt almost giddy as he looked at Ten, as if everything that had lead him to that point in his life was all washed away and replaced with an existence so normal, to anyone else it would seem mundane. The realisation hit him hard, Johnny’s laughter falling silent as he came to the conclusion of just how right Ten had been: he did want out, and he wanted it bad.

Noting his change in mood, Ten too stopped laughing, seeming to realise just how close they had gotten before clearing his throat. “Uh, I should probably give you my address.” He stated, relaying the street name to Johnny and focusing his eyes on the road ahead.

Beside him, Johnny smiled, mind still reeling with his new realisation, but body feeling strangely calm. Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away from Ten, putting the car into gear and heading away from the city.

***

The drive to Ten’s place was relatively quiet, the roads getting less busy the further they went from the city centre. They were in a part of town that Johnny had only passed through once or twice before, knowing full well that it was part of the Emeralds territory, and being advised to stay away from it by almost every leader of Neon, since he’d first joined.

Now he was certain he was breaking the rules; the member of that very same rival gang sitting in his passenger seat (and humming quietly along to the song on the radio) being the evidence he needed. Still, he continued to drive, watching as the houses became bigger, and less densely packed, and the streetlights grew fainter.

“Just here,” Ten whispered as Johnny pulled up to the side of a decent sized house that was situated on the edge of the street. It was an old looking building, windows large and single paned, paint beginning to weather away, but building still managing to keep its charm regardless.

“Wow… your home is—”

“—It’s not my home…” Ten cut in, ears staining red as he realised just what he’d said: “I mean, it was my family home, when I was a child but it hasn’t felt like one since long before my mother left and my father was killed.” He explained with a shrug. “It’s just somewhere to sleep.”

“Oh,” Johnny nodded, wishing to unpack Ten’s words but not wanting to over step any boundaries. Instead, he turned off the ignition, dimming his head lights in order to blend in as the car once again lapsed into silence. “Well, thanks for trusting me to take you here.”

“And thanks for not kidnapping me on the way.” Ten added, the playful smile from before creeping back onto his lips. There was a moment of pause again, the two of them continuing to eye each other through the darkness as the same tension from the last time they met up seemed to flow between them. In the seat beside him, Ten let out a sigh, seeming to shake his head at himself before he was speaking again: “Forgive me for this…” he murmured, pushing himself towards Johnny in order to capture his lips in a slow kiss. It was different to the last one, pumping adrenaline swapped for comfortable contentment as they both took their time; hands fisting into material, and lips sliding together with an easiness that should have only come from years of knowing each other. Johnny felt light, as if he was floating just outside of reality, his mind a continuous chant of Ten’s name as he allowed the other man to _take take take_ everything he needed. Eventually they did have to separate, lips coming apart with an audible pop as Ten leant his forehead against his. “I just had to try that one more time,” he whispered, “haven’t stopped thinking about our first kiss since the party ended.”

“You haven’t?” Johnny just about managed, his eyes fluttering open and struggling to focus on Ten, as a happiness that he hadn’t been the only one unable to forget about it welled up inside him. “Me neither.”

At this Ten let out a quiet laugh, breath still ghosting against Johnny’s lips, as he leant in as if to connect them again, before thinking better of himself and pulling away. “I really should go,” he whispered, pulling himself back from Johnny as he moved to open the car, “I’ll see you, Johnny.”

“Ten wait!” Johnny jumped in, reaching out and latching onto Ten’s hand before he had even managed to open the car door, “Can I see you again?” He begged, unsure as to just where the question had come from, but knowing it was the only important thing at that moment in time.

For a moment Ten just shook his head, Johnny stomach dropping at the thought that this would be it, but then he smiled, squeezing Johnny’s hand in his own: “Meet me in the coffee shop, same time next week. If you can’t make it, I understand, but that’s where I’ll be.”

“Okay,” Johnny nodded, letting his hand go but loving the way Ten kept their fingers locked for a few second longer. “I’ll be there.” He assured, feeling certain that he would stay true to his word.

“I hope so.” Ten agreed, smiling once more before closing the car door and disappearing into his house.

As soon as he was gone, Johnny felt a little part of himself go too, hands gripping at his steering wheel as he began to head in the direction of the Neon warehouse.

***

“You’re later than usual.” Was the first thing Taeyong said to him as he stepped foot through the doors of his office. He was stood by his window, hands clasped behind his back as if he’d been waiting for Johnny to return all day.

Glancing down at his watch, Johnny determined that he was exactly five minutes passed their original meeting time, cursing himself silently for letting time get away from him. “I had time to kill,” he explained with a shrug of his shoulder, “decided to go for a drive after the meeting and got stuck in a bit of traffic on the way back here.”

“Did it go well… the meeting, I mean.” Taeyong asked, seeming to accept Johnny’s words as he moved away from his lookout spot and back to his desk, perching himself casually on the end as he looked up at Johnny.

“Yeah, everything was fine. Just as you said it would be. The trader was very apologetic about the change of plans and even gave us the usual deal at a lower amount. I think you might have scared him a bit.”

“Probably,” Taeyong laughed with a roll of his eyes, “well at least its been sorted. What was the issue anyway?”

“Security breach, just like you were told.” Johnny relayed, “He assured me it wouldn’t be a problem though.”

“Let’s hope he’s correct,” Taeyong agreed with a sigh, “We’re gonna need all the help we can get if we want to take down the Emeralds for good. I can’t have any information getting into the wrong hands.”

In front of him, Johnny just nodded, waiting to be dismissed as a seed of anxious energy began to grow inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I’ll see you in the next one!!


	4. In Plain Sight

After their first accidental run in, seeing Ten more regularly was all but inevitable.

It had started off in the quiet coffee shop; the two men keeping true to their word and meeting at the same time and place exactly one week later. “You’re actually here.” Ten greeted, tone of voice implying that he was genuinely surprised to see Johnny in front of him, as he sunk down into the opposite chair.

“Were you under some kind of impression that I wouldn’t be?”Johnny couldn’t help but grin back, propping up his chin on one hand as he slid an identical coffee, to the one he’d gotten himself, across the able. He smiled when Ten accepted it, bashful eyes glancing down to his own drink, as he took his first sip.

“I just wasn’t sure,” Ten quipped back, “Actually, I kind of assumed you might have thought better of yourself. You know, chosen to be loyal to your people instead.”

“Yeah?” Johnny chuckled nervously, mind wandering back to Taeyong’s words from the day before as he came to the conclusion that he was no longer only breaking the rules, but full on destroying every damn one of them. “Guess you could say I’m an idiot.”

“That makes two of us,” Ten agreed with a huff of laughter, tipping his coffee as a cheer in Johnny’s direction, before taking a sip for himself.

Just like their first meeting, the two of them had spent several hours together that day. Just chatting, and laughing, and looking to the rest of the cafe goers like they were just a normal couple catching up for a coffee date, and not _sworn enemies_. As time went on, however, the weeks blending together over cafe catch ups and evening rendezvous, Johnny had to admit that Ten no longer felt like the enemy — and hadn’t felt like the enemy for some time. Any anger or irritation that he might have felt on either of their first encounters melting away with the scent of strong coffee, and pleasant company. In fact, as time went on, Johnny found himself genuinely looking forward to his time with Ten; his heart beating a little faster from something other than the caffeine in his system, and happiness growing throughout him.

The feeling, it seemed, was mutual — if the way Ten would hesitantly take his hand over the table, and laugh openly to even the most dumbest of comments was anything to go by.There was just something easy about being together, and it wasn’t long before Johnny found himself purposely altering his schedule in order to see the other man more regularly. “Are you free tomorrow?” Ten would say with a twinkle in his eye. Gaze following Johnny across the table as he pretended to think about the question.

“Same time, same place?” He would eventually reply, already coming up with an excuse to get him away from the warehouse a little earlier, as a bubble of excitement bloomed within him.

Their evenings together would away end the same way: Johnny driving Ten back to his place, and the two of them leaving with yet another kiss before their paths parted for couple of days. To begin with, the kisses they shared were soft — almost timid even. As if they were worried the other might change their mind, or push them away. On other times however, they were hot and heavy — the promise of _so much more_ spurring them both on, hands roaming and teeth clashing before someone would think better of themselves and pull away. Each kiss became familiar. They were something to look forward to, something to enjoy, Johnny finding his mind drift off on the memory of Ten’s lips against his during most long work days, and worse: when he was suppose to be paying attention to Taeyong.

“Are you ever gonna be the one to kiss me first?” Ten had grinned one day, cocking his eyebrow, and raising his chin as a direct challenge as he sat in the passenger side of Johnny’s car. It was the end of the evening, after what the pair had beenjokingly calling their fifth date. The two of them had been flirting happily in Johnny’s car, and using up the last few minutes of time they had together before going their separate ways, when Ten had interrupted the flow of conversation to ask his question.

“I— What?” Johnny, who had been staring at Ten’s lips for the passed few minutes, spluttered loudly. His throat bobbed, eyes flicking from Ten’s to his mouth once again as a mixture of anticipation and excitement mingled within him. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been the one to initiate a kiss yet. As it was, they had kissed before (many times before by that point), and in any other situation, Johnny would have been happy to make the first move. But with Ten, it was different. They were different. The situation was different. And Johnny had to battle with his own internal paranoia as he managed to convince himself that Ten was worth all the risks.

The press of Ten’s hand against his leg was all it took to bring him out of his thoughts, the encouraging touch making Johnny’s breath catch as Ten slid it up to rest tantalisingly against his thigh. His eyes were dark, lips already parted and irresistible. “ _Are you keeping some kind of score or something?_ ” Johnny laughed, smirk stretching over his lips as he finally trailed his fingers through Ten’s hair and brought himself in for the kiss.

Ten, of course, was more than happy to accept him, smiling hard against his lips as he licked into Johnny’s mouth; pulling him _closer and closer,_ as they came together in the confined space of the car _._ Each perfect groan pushed them further, every gasp and moan and word of encouragement moving them forward. It was the kind of kiss that set Johnny’s chest on fire — the desire that thrummed through him colliding them together with a force that left them begging for more. 

“Do you want to come in?” Ten had panted as they pulled apart, his hooded eyes hopeful and fluttery, and voice breathless as he gently coaxed Johnny out of his car.

“I shouldn’t,” Johnny shook his head, his words contradicting his actions as he pressed kiss after opened mouth kiss against Ten’s jaw — relishing in the way each touch pulled yet another filthy sound out of Ten.

“Johnny…” he laughed, smirk working its way onto his already flushed face, as his hands began to wander across Johnny’s chest — popping open a couple of his shirt buttons in quick succession, “I honestly think it will be a better idea if we do this inside, rather than in the middle of the road.” He explained, smile only widening as Johnny slipped his hands under the hem of Ten’s t-shirt, pushing it up and allowing his fingers to trail over sensitive skin.

“Where should I park?” He questioned, completely abandoning all his inhibitions, while Ten threaded his fingers into the stands of Johnny’s hair and pulled him in for another kiss.

“There’s a side street,” he instructed with a laugh, quickly detaching himself from Johnny (despite his complaints), in order to direct him down the road and into a quieter lane, “your car should be out of sight here.” They didn’t waste any time after that, the two of them keeping to the shadows as roaming hands and smiling lips pulled them away from the outside world, and all the dangers that lurked within it.

The progression from kissing Ten, to fucking him felt completely natural to Johnny; his eyes growing dark with lust as Ten lead them through the house and into his bedroom. With a final kiss, Ten pushed him down onto the soft bedding, crawling his way easily on top of him. Laughter split past their lips as they worked to rid each other of their clothing, hot whispers and sensual words sending shivers of anticipation through them as hands and lips continued to familiarise themselves.

“I want you.” Ten breathed as the two of them rutted messily against each other. He was sat on Johnny’s lap, fingers raking nail marks across his shoulders and head thrown back as Johnny sucked bruises onto his collarbones, savouring the salty taste of his skin against his tongue as each of his senses were overwhelmed by everything _Ten._ He held firmly onto Ten’s hips, relishing in the drag of their bodies and loving the sparks that flowed between them. “ _Johnny_ ,” Ten keened, voice whiny and addictive as he lost himself in the heat of it all,“I want you.”

And who was Johnny to say no to that? He flipped their positions easily, grinding down against him as Ten moaned into his ear, legs wrapping themselves around his middle. “Let me take care of you,” he whispered breathlessly into Ten’s ear, sliding one of his hands down the side of his body but pausing as he reached the band of his underwear: “May I?” He asked.

“ _Yes,_ ” Ten moaned in reply, eyes rolling shut and smile growing as Johnny finally wrapped his fingers around his length. It wasn’t long before the quiet of the room was filled with the sound of Ten’s breathy encouragements — his back arching as Johnny started up and intoxicating rhythm.

***

They shared a cigarette after sex: bodies spent and comfortable, as they stayed warm in their embrace while the evening slowly turned into night around them. Smoke curled thickly into the silence, Ten’s plush duvet bunching at their waists, as they tried to hold onto that moment of contentment for as long as possible.

“We really are idiots…” Ten laughed at one point, rolling himself over onto his stomach, and resting his hand against Johnny’s chest as he gazed down with a welcome softness in his eyes.

Letting out a huff of laughter, Johnny exhaled a stream of smoke, passing the cigarette back to Ten and smiling as the other man took a long drag; his eyes closing for a moment as he allowed the hit of nicotine to quash his cravings. “You’ve only just realised that?” He questioned, fingers brushing gently against the soft strands of hair on the nape of Ten’s neck, as he too watched Ten with a warmth he had never experienced before.

“Oh no,” Ten shook his head, “I’ve know we were idiots right from the moment you let me kiss you at the party… in front of all those people. So by now, we must be down right insane. Because that was incredible,” he sighed, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the corner of Johnny’s mouth, “and despite how idiotic I know we’re being, I really don’t want to put an end to this.”

“Honestly?” Johnny laughed, looping his arms around Ten’s waist as pulling him flush against him, “I think I’m happy with being a little crazy. In fact, I like crazy.” He agreed, the smile that appeared on Ten’s face making every little risk one-hundred percent worth it, as he dived in for another kiss.

***

Soon, their coffee shop dates were replaced with their houses; the two men somehow managing to convince themselves that being at home was _much safer_ , then being out in public. “It’s like hiding in plain sight,” Ten had explained between gasping breaths, smirking lips locking onto Johnny’s before he was hooking his arms beneath Ten’s legs and fucking him against the wall, just the way they liked it.

Johnny didn’t complain about their new routine, because if he was being honest, he just enjoyed having Ten over at his apartment: the two of them being free to spend hours at a time comfortable in each other’s arms as they forgot about the gangs, and the danger of everyday life for a few blissful moments.

They didn’t always end up having sex, both men regularly arranging to meet up late at night just for the opportunity to talk, and eventually sleep — sharing whatever hardships they’d faced that day, and enjoying the companionship that came from just being together.

As the weeks moved on, Johnny grew to love Ten’s place. It was a lot larger than the apartment he called home, and in the same way, it held a lot more character: the walls were covered in art, huge canvases hanging throughout the house, and evidence of paint visible on almost every surface. It was comfortable, and relatively cosy despite its size, a large fire in the living room illuminating everything in shades of red and orange, and only adding to the _homely_ feel. 

In comparison to the living room, where it was obvious Ten spent most his time and did most his art, the kitchen was practically unused. “One of the windows is broken,” Ten had explained with a shrug when Johnny brought this up, “It creates a year long draft, and I hate being cold, so I stay away. Besides, I can’t cook.” He laughed as if the thought alone was ridiculous, pulling Johnny away from the cold kitchen and back towards the rest of the house. 

Out of all the room’s however, the one Johnny loved the most was Ten’s. It was the smaller of the two bedrooms, Ten choosing to stay in the one he had always slept in, rather than the one his parents used to use; keeping the master under a strict lock and key as to not disturb the dust and memories that were trapped inside. Knowing not to pry, Johnny didn’t ask too many questions, instead directing all his attention towards Ten’s own bedroom, and using it as a chance to get to know the other man a little better.

The room was painted a dark midnight blue in colour, with slanted ceilings, and a double bed that took up over half the space. It had two skylights that flooded the room with natural brightness, and enough cushions to create a very successful pillow fort with. Shelves lined the walls, each one holding a different assortment of possessions from over Ten’s life time. There where collectables, photographs, books, art, and the occasional dusty cup; Ten scrambling to clear away some of the untidiness, while Johnny continued to gaze around.

“Everything in this room fits you so well.” Johnny said one day. He was sat with his back pressed against the head board of Ten’s bed, watching with a small smile, as Ten sketched absentmindedly on the space in front of him.

“Does it?” Ten replied rather vaguely, paying more attention to the scene he was drawing, rather than the room he was in. 

“Yeah,” Johnny nodded, “don’t you think so?”

At this, Ten just shrugged, “I think I’ve just been living here for so long that I just don’t notice that kind of thing anymore. But I’m happy you think it reflects me,” he grinned, “I mean, I’ve only been trying to put my own spin on this place for the last… _however many years._ ”

Family was something evident throughout the entirety of Ten’s house, the signs of life from more than just one person scattered in every corner or every room: from the artwork that didn’t quite match Ten’s style — to the box of old vinyl that was left untouched to the side of the living room. Little hints, little memories of those who had lived there before.

During their time together, they never really talked about family. And other than Ten’s off hand comment about his house, and Johnny’s mention of his mother’s piano playing friend, little else was known; neither man feeling quite ready to push that subject to the forefront of the conversation, just yet. In the end, it took until some time in the middle of their second month of knowing each other for it to eventually come up naturally.

They were in Johnny’s apartment, the two men stretched out on his unmade bed while the breeze from an open window fluttered softly against their bare skin. They had been quiet for some time, just enjoying each others company before Ten would be having to leave.

Johnny had been the first to speak, voice soft as if his words were more of a passing thought rather than an actual statement: “You know, I’ve lived here since I was sixteen.” He murmured, eyes tracing over the familiar patterns on the ceiling as his arms lay loosely around Ten’s waist.

“Sixteen?” Ten hummed, “Is that the age you moved out?”

“Oh… did I tell you I moved out?” Johnny blinked, unable to help the huff of laughter that left him at Ten’s words.

“What do you mean?” Ten asked, lifting his head from Johnny’s chest in order to fix him with a puzzled expression.

“Well, it was a less of ‘I moved out on my own accord’, and more of a ‘my parents moved me out’, kind of thing.” He admitted. A subtle prickle of embarrassment skittered across his skin, as the sad truth slipped out into the room.

“They kicked you out?” Ten frowned.

“Kinda,”

“Why?”

“Because I joined a gang, and they didn’t want anything to do with that life.” He stated rather matter-of-factly.

“Oh.” Ten hummed, “do you know where they are now?”

“I do,” Johnny agreed, “they moved away from the city to live near family. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re still there, but we haven’t exactly kept in touch.”

“I’m sorry,” Ten whispered, lips finding their way to Johnny’s as he comforted him with a kiss that Johnny was all too happy to accept.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” He assured, “honestly, I count myself lucky. My parents had the opportunity to turn me in to the authorities and put an end to Neon right from the start, but they chose not to… I don’t know, I think they still believed I would change my ways and realised what was right and what was wrong before it was too late. Of course, I have no idea if they still think that now.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Yes,” Johnny sighed, “but it’s safer this way. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want them to get wrapped up in this life either.”

Ten didn’t argue with that, his fingers trailing gently down Johnny’s side as he contemplated his next words: “What did you do after they left?” He eventually asked as if the answer wasn’t obvious, pressing his head back into Johnny chest, and allowing the soft vibrations of his voice to run through him.

“I thew myself into Neon.” Johnny explained anyway, “They became my family, and the leader at the time really welcomed me in with open arms. I mean, I was young, and angry, and willing to learn. What’s not to want in a mouldable new member? And you know what? Living with the other Neon members, during those first couple of years, was the most accepted I’d ever felt.”

For a moment there was a pause, silence falling back over the room as Ten took in what he had just said: “I’m sure you already know this, but I was actually born into the Emerald name.” He whispered, voice seeming to echo around the otherwise quiet room. Johnny felt himself fall still, not wishing to move and scare the conversation away. “I never had a choice on what my future was going to hold for me, although I’m sure a lot of people thought I was going to take over as leader from my father one day. It was weird, to say the least, growing up in a gang — especially when you had a little more power then most other members, and I know for certain that a lot of people grew a strong disliking for me early on in my life.”

“The only other person who really understood what it was like, was Doyoung.” He continued, mentioning his bosses name without a hint of anger for the first time in all the weeks they had known each other, “his father and mine had run the Emeralds together when they were young, then when my father stepped down from the position he took over full time until his untimely death. Doyoung’s family was even more powerful than mine was. And because of that, Doyoung understood how it felt to be hated by others — how isolating it was to inherit power from a young age. Unlike me, however, he knew how to use that power to his advantage, applying it perfectly when it was time to take over from his brother.”

“Is it true that Doyoung killed him?” Johnny asked, feeling a little stupid at believing such rubbish, when Ten just laughed.

“No,” he shook his head, “although I’m sure Doyoung’s very happy to let that rumour run its course. Honestly, I don’t think he has it in him to actually _kill_ anyone. None of us do. We’re just lost kids at the end of the day, not murderers.” Johnny couldn’t help but agree with that, thinking about how both Neon and the Emeralds had changed since the two younger leaders had taken over. “Him and Taeyong, however…” Ten continued with a smirk, “I think there might be some truth behind that one.”

“What, about them being friends once?”

“No,” Ten shook his head, eyes sparkling with a new found mischief, “the one about them having been romantically involved before they became leaders.” For a long moment, Johnny wasn’t sure of what to say to that, forehead creasing as he really took in what Ten had suggested.

“I mean, there was that one time…” He mused to himself, “god, it must have been years ago now, long before Taeyong and I climbed to any kind of authority — that he disappeared for a couple of weeks. I remember at the time it had been pretty stressful. We couldn’t get ahold of him at all, and then one day he just turned back up as if he’d never been away in the first place. I used to see him sneaking off after meetings, but he’d never tell me where he was going, so eventually I just let it drop. Do you think that could have been him going to meet Doyoung?”

“I must admit I wouldn’t know,” Ten shrugged, “I mean, I believe the there was something just because of passing comments and things I’ve heard, but for the most part I completely missed it. Me and Doyoung had already stopped being close by that point and I was too busy trying to sort out the mess that my mother had left behind to notice any strange behaviour.”

Noting the change in Ten’s voice, Johnny pulled him a little closer, being careful to pick the right words before speaking again: “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It’s okay,” Ten agreed, taking a breath to gather his thoughts before elaborating, “I got my artistic side from my mother,” he began, “she would spend her days painting in the living room, just like I do now. Stories just seemed to stream out of her fingertips as she created scenes of beauty right in front of my eyes. She taught me all I know, and always encouraged me to go further.” He sighed, his exhale tickling against Johnny’s skin as he kept quiet, “The problem was, she never really wanted to be a part of the Emeralds. And in the end, her love for my father faded, and she no longer wanted to be a part of his life. Of course, my father tried to stop her from leaving for a while, but what had started off as polite conversation soon escalated into full blown yelling matches, and then one day, while he was out on a job, she packed up her things and left.”

“She didn’t take you with her?” Johnny interjected, regretting his statement instantly as Ten’s smile faltered.

“No,” he shook his head, “and I don’t think I’ll ever really know why.” There was a hollowness to that statement, words cracked and broken from years of unanswered questions. “Anyway,” he cleared his throat, “when my father realised she was gone, he became very over protective of me. You see, I had no idea about this at the time, but he was already in trouble by that point. He’d gotten into dept, which over time had gotten him into _more_ trouble, with people even _more_ powerful than himself. As time went on, his paranoia became worse, so he made that stupid pact with Doyoung’s brother to make sure I was protected, and then a few days later he was found with a bullet in his head.”

Johnny felt himself gulp. In the life they lead, dying that was wasn’t exactly uncommon, hell, Johnny had heard stories of several people who had kicked it like that himself. But hearing about it from a personal point of view sure made it a lot more real. “That must have been very difficult.” He whispered, smoothing the pad of his thumb over the goose bumps on Ten’s hip.

“It was an… _uncomfortable_ time, but for most of it, I just felt kinda numb. I didn’t even cry at his funeral,” he chuckled bitterly, “In fact, I felt so far removed from the situation that I didn’t even register that now he was gone, I was well and truly stuck in a place that I hated — and alone. Well, alone other than Yangyang. I love that kid, he’s like the little brother I never had.” Ten laughed, “It’s kinda sad he ended up in this line of life as well.”

Johnny just hummed at that, thinking about the younger members of Neon, and the bright futures they themselves were also throwing away.

It felt good to talk about these things with Ten; therapeutic even, as if sharing these aspects of their life with each other was the best way to take the first step in moving on. Johnny couldn’t help but hope that that would be the case, pulling Ten a little closer as the quiet of the night seeped back though his apartment walls. Hearing Ten’s story had filled in a lot of blanks that evening, and Johnny couldn’t help but wonder just how long he had been keeping it to himself.

“Tell me more about Yangyang,” He asked to lighten the mood, feeling a smile creep onto his face as Ten began to grin.

***

Unsurprisingly, at the warehouse the next day, Johnny found it particularly hard to concentrate; his mind still in bed with Ten, even as his body stood to attention in front of the members of Neon.

Taeyong had been talking about revenge plans for the past few days by that point, Johnny regularly finding himself drifting off from the conversation as a new one started.

A few months ago, when asked if he wanted to get his own back on the mess the Emeralds had created, Johnny would have jumped at the opportunity, standing strong by Taeyong’s side throughout whatever idea he may have come up with — no matter what he really thought about it. Now however, he couldn’t bring himself to care, finding himself much more preoccupied with his later evening plans, and the joy of having a few normal, quiet hours with Ten to pretend that they were just like any other couple, than getting any form of revenge. 

“Did you catch that, John?” Taeyong asked, spinning on his heals and facing Johnny with an unimpressed glare.

“Of course, Boss.” Johnny agreed on auto pilot, the lie slipping passed his lips without him even trying.

“Then you won’t mind setting the younger members off on their tasks, will you?” Taeyong instructed, watching as Johnny sent a forced smile in his direction, and began to move across the room.

“I’ll join you!” Jaehyun jumped in, sending a wink in Johnny’s direction as he jogged his way towards him. Johnny thanked him silently, eyes flicking over to Taeyong as the leader continued to look less-than-impressed with the entire situation. Despite this, he didn’t stop them, turning towards the other members as he continued to relay what he had been originally telling them.

“Thanks for stepping in back there,” Johnny whispered when he was sure they were out of earshot, hanging an arm loosely around his friend’s neck as he pulled him in for a half hug.

“Hey, it’s cool.” Jaehyun shrugged, “I could see you needed a bit off assistance. Don’t want you getting in trouble over something as stupid as zoning out.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Johnny laughed bitterly, mind traveling back over the last few weeks in particular and how often he had been berated for not being present in the conversations.

“Try not to stress about it,” Jaehyun assured, patting him on the back before moving towards the younger members, “everyone has bad days, even you.”

Laughing once again, Johnny shook his head: if only Jaehyun knew just how true that statement was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re half way through now!! Thank you for reading so far~~


	5. Fear The Night

The majority of catch ups, shared by Johnny and Ten, were met with the same giddy energy that Johnny had grown to love. The two of them usually parting ways with matching grins, and lighter hearts. The perfect pick-me-up, after a long time apart.

Some days, however, were a little different. It would come out of nowhere: the heaviness. Whether because of a bad day, a difficult job, or the overwhelming realisation that no matter what, they were still stuck on opposite sides of the same war. Johnny wasn’t always sure, but whatever it was, sometimes life just got them down; smiles dipping, and fingers clasping onto one another, as if they were scared to let go and lose each other for good.

It didn’t happen all the time, just the occasional late night, or quiet evening, but it was still there. Hidden by all the happy moments and waiting to bite. And on a miserable misty night, towards the end of their third month of knowing each other, the heaviness came back, and came back hard.

It had been a cold day, the morning seeming to flow straight into evening without a break from the constant cloud that obscured the sun; not even the soft, comfortable atmosphere of Ten’s bedroom was capable of raising their moods as they rested quietly in each other’s company.

Long gone were the days when silence would feel awkward between them, Johnny now finding comfort in the quiet when everything else in his life seemed to be screaming at full volume.

“There’s gonna be a fight tonight.” He stated rather matter of factly. Their evening together was steadily approaching its end, and although Johnny knew he should feel at least a little guilty about giving this kind of information away so freely, a part of him (and a big part at that) couldn’t care less. Feeling a lot more inclined to spill Neon’s secrets, if it ensured Ten was at least a little partial to the information, before everything went down.

“I know,” Ten nodded, eyes darting away to the outside world as if he didn’t want to think about it. His answer didn’t surprise Johnny, after all, he might not be permitted to taking part in this kind of gang activity, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be around for the meetings.

They hadn’t talked much about their work lives over the past few meet ups, way more interested in getting to know each other outside of the gang reputation as a kind of unofficial rule began to form. Johnny felt a strong sense of discomfort settle in him, as he thought of breaking that now. “Do you think you’ll be there?”

“No…” Ten shook his head, looking as if the thought alone was causing him enough unease, “no, it would probably be a bad idea. As much as I like to piss Doyoung off, heading into this fight would just be stupid. Besides, I don’t think I could fight—” he cut himself off, seeming to debate whether or not to finish his sentence, “—I don’t think I could fight you.” Silence. The heaviness grew. Ten cleared his throat: “I mean, I assume you’ll have to go?”

“Me?” Johnny asked as if the answer wasn’t obvious, “Yeah, I’ll be there. Taeyong expects it.” He explained, “Shit would probably go down hill a lot quicker if I refused to go. But hey,” he lightened his tone, “I’m not worried,” _he was worried,_ “It’s just gonna be another pointless dispute where Doyoung and Taeyong get to piss each other off more than they already have. I doubt anything much will happen.”

They both knew it was a lie, Ten’s reaction only proving this further: “Yeah,” he attempted to laugh, broken sound and turned down smile failing to hide his concern, “I hope you’re right.”

The kiss they parted with that day, was a little needer than the rest, both of them reluctant to let go as fingers tangled themselves into hair, and hands fisted into clothing; the press of their lips conveying more emotions than words ever could.

“Why don’t you just stay here?” Ten whispered as Johnny made his way towards the bedroom door, putting forward his last ditch attempt to stop him from leaving, as their final minutes ran like sand out of a hour glass. “Let’s just forget about the gangs for the night and face the consequences tomorrow. We could just pretend for a few hours. Just be normal.” He was sat on the edge of his bed, frame small as his shoulders hunched forward, hands sandwiched between his knees as if to stop him from reaching forward. The sight alone sent a pang of longing through Johnny’s body, Ten’s words only adding to his heart ache. Because, in all honestly he wanted nothing more than to do exactly that — the warmth of Ten’s arms around him calling out as he physically forced himself away.

“Ten,” He sighed, watching with a heavy heart as Ten pulled himself together right in front of his eyes.

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry, that was stupid… just… try and stay safe out there, yeah?”

“Always,” Johnny promised, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it, pressing one final kiss against Ten’s lips, before exiting the room.

***

The warehouse was a buzzing mess when Johnny arrived, members of Neon rushing from A to B as they gathered everything and anything that might be needed. It was loud, and busy, and a little overwhelming if Johnny was being honest. The chatter and anticipation mixing to create a sense of apprehension around the entire room.

It was Jaehyun’s calm voice that cut through the chaos around them, and brought Johnny out of his daydream — friendly shoulder bumping into his as his words filtered into Johnny’s ears: “You alright?” He asked with a smile, “You seem a little distant there… _again_.”

Johnny huffed out a laugh. If he had seemed at all distant since arriving back at Neon’s main base, that would be because he was in fact thinking about Ten; his mind holding onto any source of comfort that he could find, as he readied himself for whatever the night might throw at him. “Sorry,” he smiled, clicking his neck from side to side, and hoping it would make him seem at least a little less tense. “I’m fine, really!” He assured, when Jaehyun continued to look sceptical. Pushing him on the side, he let out another hollow laugh, “But thanks for checking in.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Jaehyun grinned, slapping his friend on the shoulder as he lead him though the main room of the warehouse and over to a quieter corner, “Tonight’s gonna be a real make it, or break it moment for us. I just wanted to make sure you were totally ready.”

“Of course I am.” Johnny lied, smiling as convincingly as he could despite the pit of dread that had been resting in his stomach since he’d arrived.

The plan was simple: Take back the North district — starting with the warehouse. From a stand alone point, it sounded relatively straight forward, and it should be, if all went accordingly; Taeyong, as the leader of Neon, having spent weeks planning out exactly how they were going to do it, from the time of arrival, to the minute they would be victorious. He had it all set out to the very second — briefing each member on exactly what he wanted them to be doing, long before they’d even set off.

“Alright,” called Taeyong, the boss stepping out of his office and walking himself to the front of the crowd. He stopped still, raising himself to his full hight as he clasped his hands behind his back. “Tonight is a big night for Neon, and as its leader, I am proud to have you all by my side.” He started, pausing for dramatic effect, as a few of the more excitable members let out whoops and cheers. “I’m sure you can agree that the last time we went head to head with a bunch of Emeralds, things got out of hand. Those assholes went too far, first taking the north district, and then using its status to humiliate us. Well tonight, we change that. Side by side against them all. And I promise you, if we do this right, we will be the one to return with triumph and the north district safely back in our possession.” There was a cheer from the members. Johnny wanted to disappear.

“Now, we can’t be naive. There’s a chance that the Emeralds will be expecting us tonight,” _more likely than you think,_ Johnny thought with a roll of his eyes, “But we will be stronger, and we will show them exactly what we’re made of. Never again will they drag our name through the dirt and live to see another day. Never again will we be ridiculed in our own city. This is our home, and together we will defend it.” A shout of agreement erupted from the gang, each member rallying themselves as they prepared for the best possible outcome.

Johnny, however, wasn’t so optimistic, balling his hands into fists and taking a deep breath. He had no idea how this night was going to go, but one thing was for sure: he’d much rather be safe at home with Ten, than be readying himself to face the enemy on their own land.

***

If there was one thing Taeyong never did, it was subtlety; the entire convoy of Neon members pulling up in a spectacle of showmanship before storming their way through the doors of the north districts warehouse, with their weapon’s brandished. Eyes of steel swept across the room, Johnny watching as Yuta and Kun knocked out the guards men in quick unison.

The main room was eerily quiet — a strange juxtaposition from the last time Johnny had been there. His eyes scanned around, easily locating the space the bar had been situated — the place he had first caught sight of Ten — the place they had shared their first kiss. His mind wandering unhelpfully back to that moment as he willed himself to focus on the present.

“Doyoung!” Taeyong called out, forgoing his usual formalities and addressing the oppositions leader by his first name, “I know you’re here. Show yourself, you fucking coward.” His words echoed around the room, disturbed only by the distant rumbling of far away roads and then finally: _clap, clap, clap._ A slow applause started from somewhere in the shadows.

“Very good,” teased the unmistakable voice of Doyoung, Johnny whipping his head to the side just in time to see him appear. The leader of the Emeralds was dressed up as smartly as he usually did, all pressed collars and shined shoes, but this time with an added glint of danger in his eyes. A glint of danger that Johnny did not want to get on the wrong side of. “You’ve arrived just in time.” He stated, leaning up against one of the metal pillars that lined the room, before clicking his fingers, “We were just beginning to get bored.” As he spoke, previously unseen members of the Emeralds began to emerge; walking out from the shadow, the backrooms, the front entrance, until Taeyong and his team were well and truly outnumbered.

“Trust you to make this an unfair fight, Kim.” Taeyong spat, striding forward with purpose in each step and taking hold of Doyoung by the lapels of his jacket.

All around them Doyoung’s men stepped forward, their movements halted only by a wave of their leader’s hand.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Taeyong? I mean look around you. You know this isn’t a fair fight, but you’re still willing to put your members at risk? What kind of a good leader would do something like that?” He purred, smile growing wider as Taeyong began to bristle

“I’ll show you a fair fucking fight.” Taeyong growled back, rising his hand in a closed fist, and sending it flying into the side of the other leaders face.

Despite standing just behind Taeyong, Johnny had absolutely no idea what happened next; the entire room, that had been holding its breath since they had first arrived, erupting as men from both sides launched themselves into the fight. And just like last time, they were off — Johnny making sure to stick close to Taeyong as the two leaders fought fist to fucking fist.

It was an angry, ugly fight. The kind that would be reported on the news as a disgraceful incident. The kind of fight that Johnny himself had only ever experienced once, and in that situation, it had resulted in the death of their previous leader. Forgetting about his worries for a moment, Johnny threw himself into the action, teeth bared and fists clenched as he rounded on Doyoung. The leader of the Emeralds however, had other plans. He moved nimbly out of the way, ducking passed both Johnny and Taeyong’s grip as once again, Lucas stepped in to protect him. “Lucas,” Johnny regarded politely, rolling his shoulder as he paused for a moment, “It’s good to see you.”

“Likewise, Johnny.” Lucas laughed, cracking his knuckles as he squared off against him.

“We really need to stop meeting like this. It’s getting a little embarrassing…” Johnny mocked, lips pulling back into a joyless smile as his statement earned him a role of the eyes from the bodyguard.

Lucas grunted, “Let’s just get this over with.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth.”

In a strange way, Johnny never really hated his fights with Lucas. Although a little shorter than him, Doyoung’s favourite bodyguard was well built, and a relatively good match for Johnny; their fights only dwindling when the Emerald eventually tired himself out. Lucas had a habit of giving one-hundred and ten percent right from the start of a match, pacing himself poorly before eventually losing out. It was then that Johnny would strike, using the rest of his energy to knock him down and out for the remainder of the event.

On top of that, other than the fact that they were enemies by default, Johnny couldn’t really bring himself to hate the guy. In fact, if he was being brutally honest, he couldn’t bring himself to hate any of the Emeralds — even Doyoung. No, to him they were just people. People who, if life had dealt them all a different set of cards, might have been on his side, might have even been his friend. Ten, had become the perfect example of this very theory: a person who he had been taught to hate, worming his way into his life, in the least likely way possible. It was this thought that had him going easy on the other fighter, keeping his mind rooted to the idea that Lucas was just another guy like him; stuck in a position of power that he probably should never have been granted.

Keeping light on his feet, Johnny dodged an incoming punch form Lucas, grabbing his arm in a perfect block as he forced his elbow into his chest. By that point Lucas had already managed to land a couple of hits against his face, the ache that surrounded his left eye letting Johnny know that he was in for a nasty bruise. He didn’t stop the think about that now, pushing his weight against the other man as they collided with one of the support pillars. Bellow him, Lucas sucked in a hiss of pain, eyebrows drawing together as he used his position to kick back at Johnny, managing to slip out of his hold as he did so. They went back and forth like that for a few long minutes, punches flying and bruises forming as Johnny completely lost sight of Taeyong and concentrated solely on his attacker.

A well aimed kick to the back of Lucas’s leg had him dropping to his knees, Johnny using this to his advantage and directing the next one into his side. He didn’t stop to watch as Lucas doubled over, instead he moved forward with the full intention of ending the fight right then and there: “I think we should call it a night, don’t you?” He panted, letting go of his hold on the other man and taking a step back.

“Fuck you,” Lucas spat, staggering to his feet and raising his hands back into a fighting stance, “Don’t get cocky, Suh.” He warned. His eyes flicked momentarily to the side of Johnny’s face, the twitch of his lips being all the indication Johnny received before an unexpected pain was shooting though his back.

_“Mother fucker.”_ Johnny grit out, eyes narrowing as he spun on his heals and forced his shoulder into his new attacker. Both him and the new arrival stumbled, Johnny pushing himself back up to his feet as quickly as he could, in order to land another hit. The newcomer however, was quicker than him; using his undiminished stamina to his disposal, and aiming a kick directly into Johnny’s stomach.

Doubling over in pain, Johnny felt all the air leave his lungs, body dropping to the ground as his chest heaved out a cough. He opened his mouth to speak, but not a single word escaped, his body gasping with the effort to breathe.

“Not so tough now, huh Johnny?” Said the smooth and unmistakable voice of Sicheng, he had a smile on his face as he spoke, one that told Johnny just how happy he was to be the person to take him down a peg. “You and your little friend Jaehyun caused a lot of problems for me because of that party fiasco. You’re lucky I didn’t recognise you that night, or else you definitely wouldn’t be here right now. This is pay back.” He growled, grabbing hold of a fistful of Johnny’s hair and yanking his head back.

“Really?” Johnny wheezed, pushing though the pain of each inhalation and staring up at Sicheng with dangerous eyes. “Because I just think you’re desperate to see me on my knees in front of you.” He continued, turning on the charm as he fluttered his eyelashes, “So, how is it, Sicheng? Am I everything you ever imagined?” His comment earned him another kick to his stomach, this blow sending him backwards and into the waiting hands of Lucas.

A part of him was curious to know just how the Emeralds had discovered their identities, but he quickly reminded himself that Doyoung probably had just as many eyes on Neon, as they had on them. Besides, maybe Ten was right. Maybe he had been watching on the night of the party.

His first fighting partner, it seemed, had been using his time wisely, regaining his breath and momentum in order to be completely ready for Johnny’s approach.

“Come on _fellas,_ two against one? Talk about an unfair fight?” Johnny just about managed, forcing out a laugh and pretending the action didn’t make him want to keel over and die. He had hoped for his comment to come across as incredibly obnoxious — anything to hide just how terrified he was really feeling. However, from the way Lucas and Sicheng exchanged looks of pure disbelief, he got the feeling he had failed pretty spectacularly.

“Us two, against you? Seems like a pretty even deal to me.” Lucas shrugged, wiping a trickle of blood that had escaped his nose on the back of his hand before he too was sending a kick into Johnny’s body.

The next five minutes were the closet thing to hell Johnny had experienced in a long time. It was two against one, and things weren’t looking so good, Johnny managing to pull himself back to his feet, just to be pushed down again. He ached all over: split knuckles trembling with each missed hit; feet tripping over themselves with each step forward. Every breath came out as a shudder, sweat streaking against the grime on his skin as the last of his energy began to fade.

Noticing this, Lucas pushed towards him, taking Johnny down with a powerful kick to the back to his knees, just like Johnny had done to him what felt like hours earlier. And this time, Johnny knew there was no getting back up, his body curling in on itself and hands moving to protect his head, as his two rivals aimed kick after kick against his already crumpled form.

Fortunately for Johnny, his attackers only managed to land a couple more hits before a clear tone was ringing out though the warehouse: “Neon, fall back!” The sound of Taeyong’s voice cut through the static of the fight, hands grasping hold of Johnny and yanking him to his feet. “I said fall fucking back!” He yelled again, dragging Johnny away from the fight and towards the cold night air.

Around him, Johnny heard the fight begin to fade, members of Neon raising their hands in surrender as they followed their leader back out of the warehouse. The defeat was humiliating beyond belief, the group of gang members being followed by cheers of success and childish taunts as they stumbled out onto the street.

Gaining some of the feeling back in his legs, Johnny brushed Taeyong’s hands away from him; uprighting himself as he half walked, half limped back to the convoy of vehicles that awaited them. “Get in, I’ll drive.” Taeyong gritted out, pushing Johnny away from the drivers side so he could slip into the seat. Johnny didn’t have enough energy to argue back, collapsing into the passenger side as he lay his pounding head against the cool surface of the window — watching his breath steam up the glass.

The drive back to the main warehouse was deathly silent. Neither Johnny or Taeyong said a word to one another, eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead as lights passed by dizzyingly around them.

The silence continued to be deafening even once they had made their way inside, not a single word being uttered by a single person, as the group of disheveled gang members moved themselves from cars and vans into the warehouse.

“Right,” Taeyong sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to work out what to say. “Right,” he repeated, “so I think we can all agree tonight did not go at all as we had hoped it would.”

“Understatement.” Coughed a man from the other side of the room, Johnny looking over and catching sight of a badly bruised Kun, with a fierce glare on his face. He was supporting a half conscious Chenle in his arms. Johnny couldn’t help but wince as he noticed a nasty gash protruding from the younger’s hair line.

“Fine.” Taeyong gritted his teeth, “Tonight was a fucking shit show, does that make you feel any better?” His words were followed by a chorus of mumbles and several shaking heads. “I can admit when I’m wrong, and today was one of those days. But that doesn’t mean we should just quit. They got us, okay? I’m not stupid, I can see the fucking mess we’ve gotten into, but it won’t happen again.” He finished, trying to raise the morale of the group and bring them back from the terrible fight they’d just had.

It didn’t work, the disgruntled mumbles turning into shouts of disbelief and anger; the less injured members of the gang stepping forward as trust for their ‘fearless leader’ quickly slipped away. “You fucking knew this would happen.” One person, who Johnny recognised to be a newer member named Hendery cried out, followed quickly by, “Why should we believe a word you say?” And that was all it took, multiple members piping up their irritations and aiming it directly at Taeyong.

Looking suddenly very overwhelmed, Taeyong glanced in Johnny’s direction. Johnny just looked away; jaw tensing as he point blank refused to make eye contact with the leader of their group. Out of the corner of his vision, he watched Taeyong’s face harden, failing to feel even the littlest of guilt as his once close friend had to fight his way through the crowd of anger in order to be heard.

“Right!” He yelled once more, stepping up onto a nearby table and slamming his foot down against the surface. The sound reverberated around the room, seeming to work in shutting up the rest of the group as cold eyes fell heavily upon Taeyong. “You will fucking listen to me. I mean it when I say this won’t happen again. Now, either you can choose to believe me, or you can get the fuck out. I don’t want to see anyone here who’s not willing to stand by me and my leadership. Understood?”

Not a single person made a sound.

Choosing to take their silence as a yes, Taeyong nodded: “Good, now leave. We’ve all been injured in some way tonight, and I don’t want my team looking defeated. So get out, go get yourself whatever care you might need. We meet back here at the end of the week to discuss exactly what went wrong.” With that, he jumped off the table, taking two steps at a time up to his office, and beckoning Johnny to follow him.

Despite his anger, Johnny did as he was told; forcing his body to move as he followed his leader like an obedient pet.

“ _Thanks_ for sticking up for me back there.” Taeyong hissed the moment the door had closed behind them. He was pacing the length of the room again, frown etched into his face as he lit a cigarette. He offered the packet to Johnny, frowning a little deeper when Johnny just shook his head.

“The members deserve to share their thoughts, Taeyong.” He croaked, trying to ignore the strong taste of iron in his mouth, while he stared straight ahead at the cold brick wall.

There was an itch in his body that lay just beneath his skin. A discomfort that he knew would only go away if he was able to see Ten again. He wanted nothing more than to be with the other man right now, his aching body practically begging for a break.

“But you’re my right hand man, Johnny. I need you to step in and put an end to this kind of mob mentality.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to.” Johnny shrugged.

“So what? You agree with them?”

“Would it matter if I did?”

“Yes, Johnny!” Taeyong exclaimed, stopping still mid stride before making his way towards him. “I value your opinion. That means I want to know what you think.”

“Cut the crap,” growled Johnny, his irritation levels rising as he watched his leader spout absolute bullshit. “You haven’t cared about my opinion in fucking months, Taeyong. Not since you attempted to fill those awfully big shoes you’ve stepped into. In fact, you want to know what I think? Well, I think the only reason you even want me around as your _second in command_ is because the rest of the members are fucking terrified of what I might do to them if they disrespect you too loudly.” He concluded, dragging his hand against his face and blinking at the blood that rubbed off on it. “He’s right…” He whispered, Ten’s words from months ago springing to his mind, “you stopped regarding me as your equal long ago.”

The words hung heavily in the air, but instead of replying with a biting comment like Johnny had been expecting, Taeyong just narrowed his eyes: “Who’s right?” He questioned, taking a step forwards and prodding a finger into Johnny’s chest. “Who the fuck have you been speaking to about me?” He demanded, his words bringing Johnnys attention back to the room, and making hims realise just what he’d said.

_Shit_. Johnny’s mind fell blank, thoughts completely deserting him as he searched desperately for something to say. “Lucas… in the fight.” He settled on, “He used it as a taunt to try and piss me off… obviously it worked.” As he spoke, he grit his teeth a little harder, desperately hoping that his lie would be believable. Because as it was, there was no way in hell he was dropping Ten’s name into this mess. Not again, not after he’d already fucked up so badly.

“And tell me, Johnny, since when did you believe the shit that came out of his mouth?” Taeyong spat back, raising his chin in defiance as he took a step away.

“I don’t.” Johnny sighed, letting his fists uncurl from his sides as he breathed out an audible sigh. There was no point in arguing with Taeyong, not after the night they’d had.

All the anger left his body then — the itch in his skin coming back with a vengeance. He needed to get out of there.

“Then don’t fucking listen to him.” Taeyong scorned, looking a little shocked that he was even having to have that kind of conversation with Johnny.

“Yes boss,” Johnny replied, keeping his voice monotone and his eyes vacant as he waited to be dismissed.

***

The drive to Ten’s place was practically ingrained into his muscle memory by that point in their, _not quite,_ relationship. And Johnny didn’t have to think at all, as his body drove him on auto pilot to the other side of the city. He was still buzzing from the fight, left over dregs of adrenaline jolting through him. Pressing his foot to the pedal, he sped though the streets, not sparing a single thought to the speed limits, in his desperation to get as far away from the Neon warehouse as he could.

It was stupid to go back into enemy territory so soon after a bad fight, and he goddamn knew it. A larger part of his mind, however, told him it would be worse to stay away.

Johnny kept his car headlights low, making his way slowly and quietly to the side road he had parked in many times before, and exiting his vehicle. His body protested as he moved, each bruise on his battered limbs pulsing with every step.

Moving through the street, Johnny kept himself to the shadows, limping up to Ten’s front door, before knocking twice. He waited, silently begging Ten to open the door, and hoping desperately that Doyoung hadn’t left anyone to watch him for the night. 

The house stayed quiet.

After standing for a couple of seconds, Johnny knocked again: “Come on Ten,” He murmured quietly, head resting against the smooth door panel as he gritted his teeth, “please answer your door.” Still there was silence. For a moment, Johnny wondered if he was already asleep, dismissing that idea quickly when he thought back to all the sleepless nights they’d shared.

In all honestly, he wasn’t surprised that Ten hadn’t shown himself — after all, he wasn’t an idiot, and answering his door in the middle of the night was a sure fire way of getting yourself killed, injured or robbed, in their line of work. Sighing to himself, he quickly came to the conclusion that Ten wasn’t going to find him and instead, made his way round to the back of the property.

Breaking into Ten’s back garden was a lot easier than he had hoped it would be; Johnny, despite his height and current injuries, managing to squeeze his way through a gap in the fence before making his way towards the windows.

It was dark and empty inside the kitchen, and he was only able to see as far as the family dining table as he gazed through the dirty windowpanes.

This was his only option, he told himself, pushing at the windows and hoping Ten would forgive him for breaking in. Eventually, he arrived to the one with the dodgy latch, a small hopeful smile slipped onto his lips when it pushed open with ease. Using the buzz in his system, Johnny pulled himself up, and through the open window.

His decent into Ten’s house was a lot less successful than he would have liked; Johnny catching his foot on the window frame, at the very last minute, and tumbling not at all gracefully into the room. His body made a loud thud as it collided with the floor, a calamity of falling pots (that had been previously stacked neatly on the surface) joining him as the sound rang out through the empty house.

Almost as soon as this had happened, there was movement from the door way, Johnny barely having time to raise his head before an agile body was pinning him down: “Don’t make another move.” Ten hissed, the blade of his trusty knife digging into the soft skin on Johnny’s neck as he threatened to end it all there.

Having not expected this extra force, Johnny’s head hit the tiled floor, the pain that radiated through his body pulling a low groan of agony passed his split lips. In a flash, Ten was pulling away from him, bare feet scrabbling against the floor as he rushed to turn on the lights: “Johnny?” He questioned, menace dropping from his voice as soon as he flicked the switch on the wall. For a moment the room was blasted into brightness. Johnny winced at the sudden change, blinking blindly into the room. “ _Fuck_.” Ten swore, his expression dropping as he rushed over to Johnny’s side. “Johnny, oh god what happened? Are you okay? Shit, what can I do?” He rambled, trembling hands hovering inches above Johnny as if he was scared a single touch would cause him pain.

His knife, that had been dropped the moment Johnny had cried out, lay discarded and ignored by the side of his head. Ten kicked it away now, as if terrified of what might have happened had Johnny not made a sound.

“I’m okay.” Johnny lied, attempting to sit himself up, but giving up as his ribs gave a sharp stab of pain.

“That’s the fattest fucking lie I’ve ever heard,” Ten shook his head, fingers ghosting over a particularity bad bruise that was beginning to form around Johnny’s eye. “I take it this was from the fight?” He asked, voice quiet now as he brushed a stray hair out of Johnny’s eyes.

“Lucky guess…” Johnny deadpanned wincing again and gripping hold of Ten’s other hand as a wave of pain went through him, “But if you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.” He attempted to lighten the situation, failing to laugh as yet another twinge of pain shot through his abdomen.

“This is no time to joke, Johnny.” Ten scolded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked around desperately for something to assist them. “Shit,” he swore again, “we need to get you somewhere more comfortable, can you stand for me?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Johnny agreed, pushing himself up on his hands and allowing Ten to help him into a standing position. He felt a little better back on his feet, his body thanking him for getting off the cold hard floor.

“I have a first aid kit in the bathroom,” Ten continued; his words working to comfort and ground himself, as he hoisted Johnny up with an arm around his waist and lead him towards the stairs, “I can check you over in there.” Johnny didn’t bother replying to this, lips twisting into a smile before turning into a grimace as he took his first step forward. 

Getting Johnny to the top of the stairs wasn’t half as hard as either of them had expected it to be, Johnny hardly needing to rely on Ten as he made it from the landing and into Ten’s bathroom.

“Sit here,” Ten instructed, placing him gently down against the edge of the bath and clicking on the overhead light, before beginning to rummage through his cabinet, “One second,” he mumbled, taking a few things out, before heading for the door, “There’s some painkillers in my bedroom, let me just grab them.”

Just as he was about to leave the room, Johnny stopped him, fingers catching loosely around his wrist and halting him mid stride. “Ten,” he whispered, his entire body seeming to bloom into life as Ten turned back and finally looked him in the eyes, “thank you,” he finished, hoping the two simple words would convey exactly how thankful Johnny was to have someone like him to turn to.

“Don’t thank me,” Ten murmured back, his eyes sparkling in the low light as he reluctantly pulled away. He left then, Johnny watching him disappear as the hallway was illuminated by his bedroom lamp.

For a moment, Johnny allowed himself to zone out, concentrating on anything other than the ache in his muscles as he waited patiently for Ten’s return. There was still an itch in his body, tension pulling him tight as he willed himself to unwind.

Trying to ignore it, his eyes trailed around the bathroom, taking in its sun bleached blinds, and peeling paint as he focused on his breathing.

Thankfully he didn’t have to wait too long, Ten reappearing by the door with a glass of water and two tablets in his hands: “Take this,” he said, handing the medication over to Johnny, before sinking down onto his knee’s in front of him, “Okay,” he breathed once Johnny had done that, keeping his voice calm and steady as he coaxed Johnny’s t-shirt over his head, “let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

Obediently, Johnny raised his arms, only wincing slightly as his skin was exposed to the cool air.

Ten however, sucked in a hiss of breath as he saw what lay beneath, throat bobbing and eyebrows pulling together while concern flooded his features. Glancing down, Johnny understood his reaction, as painted like a sickly watercolour across his chest, and down his side was an array of angry bruises. They varied in appearance: small splashes of yellow-y green stretching over his ribs, while larger blooms of purple and blue accumulated across his side. They were almost reminiscent of Ten’s paintings — an ugly ripoff of the abstract canvases that held such beauty throughout the house.

“Who did this to you?” Ten whispered, question catching Johnny off guard as anger clouded Ten’s once anxious eyes. He looked incredibly attractive like that, Johnny’s mind supplied unhelpfully for him, gaze zoning in on dark eyes as the buzzing inside him only grew. “Was it Lucas?” He asked when Johnny still didn’t speak.

“Um, yeah,” Johnny nodded absentmindedly, “things got pretty rough at the end and I went up against him and Sicheng.”

In front of him, Ten’s jaw clenched: “Both of them? At the same time?” He asked, Johnny just nodded, swallowing hard when Ten ran his hands through his hair. “Fuck.” He swore angrily, looking as if he was planning on leaving right then to confront them. “How fucking dare they.” He seethed, fingers clenching and unclenching as his eyes glazed with a danger that Johnny had never seen in him before.

“Ten,” Johnny murmured, trailing his fingers against his face, and trying to swallow down the sudden arousal that spread like honey through his veins. “I don’t care about them.” He admitted, “It wouldn’t make a difference to me who did it, or why it happened. This kind of shit is all part of the job, I’m used to it.” That last statement wasn’t entirely true, but nevertheless, it seemed to do its job, his words grounding Ten back to the moment as his eyes focused once more on Johnny.

“Do you mind?” He asked, gaze flicking from Johnny’s eyes, to his chest as his fingers inched hesitantly towards him.

“Go ahead,” Johnny agreed, throat bobbing as Ten made himself comfortable between his legs. Delicate fingers skimmed over broken skin, prodding gently at the different bruises while he attempted to work out just how far the injury went. Each touch sparked electricity through Johnny’s body — the mixture of pain and pleasure filling him up with fire as he watched Ten check him over with a meticulous eye.

“Does it hurt to breath?” Ten asked, pressing carefully at his ribs and waiting for his reaction, before working his way down to the smooth skin of his stomach. Johnny felt his muscles tense out of anticipation as he sat himself perfectly still.

“No,” he answered truthfully, “it hurt to begin with, but I think I was just winded. I feel okay now, even the obvious pains have subsided since taking the painkillers.”

Despite his words, Ten still didn’t seem so convinced, disinfecting a couple of smaller scrapes on his arms, before glancing a watchful eyes across his back. “You got off lucky,” he eventually concluded, resting a hand on either of Johnny’s thighs as he let out a sigh of relief: “from what I can see, you have no broken ribs, a slight bruising of the arms and face, Major bruising to your torso and back, but thankfully only a few cuts.” Johnny was still sat shirtless on the edge of the bath, eyes watching Ten’s every move as he noted the subtle frown between the other’s eyebrows.

“Are you mad at me?” He quipped, hands trailing over Ten’s shoulders before settling on his forearms.

“I want to be,” Ten huffed, “but no, I’m not mad at you… I just hate seeing you like this. I mean, you said you’d be careful and I know this isn’t your fault. And I know there was nothing you could do to stop it but…” he trailed off, eyes glancing up and words dying as he focused on Johnny’s expression, “What?’ He blinked, throat bobbing as Johnny coaxed him forward.

“Can we just stop talking for a moment?” He asked, smile blooming despite himself as Ten let his eyes trail to Johnny’s mouth.

His breath noticeably stuttered, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he continued to stare: “I still need to tend to your face,” Ten argued, leaning himself up as he brushed his finger tips against the bruises there — lingering for a second too long on the space Johnny knew was occupied by the scar Ten had made. Memories of their first encounter came flooding back to him, his mind racing with the knowledge of just how much had changed since then

Pressing into the touch, Johnny closed his eyes as the pad of Ten’s thumb soothed over his skin. “I know,” he hummed, lashes fluttering as Ten skimmed his hand across his chest, pressing it momentarily over his heart before moving to cup his jaw.

“And you need to shower,” Ten added, as if trying to convince himself not to go through with his next actions. It obviously failed, Johnny’s eyes rolling to the back of his head as Ten pressed a kiss first against his jaw, and then the scar on his cheek.

“I do,” Johnny chuckled, hands roaming over Ten’s back and head rolling as he allowed the itch of want to finally take over. “So why don’t you join me?” He keened, chest rising and falling as Ten slid his fingers away from his face, and down to his trousers.

“Are you sure?” Ten gulped, pausing at the waist band of his jeans as he fixed Johnny with an open gaze.

“I’m sure.” Johnny breathed, fingers cupping the back of Ten’s neck as they finally met in a kiss. Their lips moved addictively against each other, Johnny feeling the fire grow within him as a groan of pleasure escaped his throat, jaw falling slack when Ten surged into the kiss. It wasn’t long before he lost himself to the slide of their mouths, the left over buzz of adrenaline twitching through his body and spurring him on. He slid his hands under Ten’s top, waiting for him to break the kiss with a breathless laugh, before pulling it over his head.

“Okay,” Ten smiled, cheeks flushed and eyes dark with want as he nodded eagerly, “Let me make you feel good.” As he spoke, he pulled them both up, the two of them making quick work of the rest of their clothing as Ten turned on the shower. “Come here,” he coaxed, a blush spreading up his chest as Johnny’s eyes roamed hungrily over him.

“You’re so beautiful,” He breathed, allowing Ten to lead him under the warm spray of the shower and not managing to say a word more as Ten silenced him with another kiss.

Ten had been hesitant as first, scared even that in any second Johnny might fall apart right in front of his eyes. His hands skirted timidly across skin, eyes constantly searching for any sign of discomfort as Johnny held him close. But he soon relaxed, eyes closing and lips twisting into a smile when Johnny moaned words of appreciation directly into his ear.

They hadn’t lasted long in the shower, clean bodies tumbling onto Ten’s bed as they continued to press open mouthed kisses against warm skin.

Sex with Ten was alway wonderful. The two of them just seemed to flow together in a way that Johnny had never experienced before; hearts beating in sync, as whispered words of desire and moans of pleasure spurred them forward. But this time felt different. Each movement was softer, each touch, each kiss somehow more intimate than the last. As if somewhere, deep down, they knew things were about to change.

***

The rest of the night had been spent comfortable in each others arms; bodies wrapped in Ten’s bed covers, and limbs tangled together. They shared kisses and whispers in the quiet of the night, allowing themselves to finally relax after the stress of the evening.

“You know,” Ten hummed as he finished disinfection and patching the cuts on Johnny’s face, thumb once again resting over the rough skin of his scar, “I was trying to prove myself that night.” He admitted, referencing their shared fight for the first time since they had started this whole thing, as a flash of guilt flickered though his eyes. “I was trying to prove myself, and piss off Doyoung, and show every member of the fucking Emeralds that I had what it took to fight along side them. So I snuck into the fight, picked the toughest looking guy I could find, and threw all my pent up anger and resentment at him.” He dropped his gaze away from the scar, almost as if he was too ashamed to even look at it. “I’m sorry, I regret doing that now.”

“Well I don’t,” Johnny laughed, allowing Ten to put away his medical kit, before pulling him back into bed. “I can’t bring myself to regret a single moment we shared together, even if our first meeting left me with a scar.”

Beside him, Ten shook his head, eyes soft and expression warm as he moved himself closer: “I love you, you know that right?” He confessed, pressing a kiss into Johnny’s hair as Johnny lay his head on Ten’s chest.

Unable to help it, Johnny felt a grin tug at his lips, contentment flooding his own chest as he twisted to get a better look at the person above him, “I love you too,” he replied, because he did love him, and he probably had for some time now. The pair shared a look, as close as they could come to carefree laughter bubbling into the room before being silenced once again by the press of their lips. 


	6. The Calm

Johnny awoke the next day with a start, eyes flying open and body giving a jolt as he was pulled away from a nightmare in which was being chased; tired limbs fighting against invisible hands as unplaceable, but familiar, faces haunted him around every corner.

He was breathing hard, eyes blinking open into the soft morning light as he became aware of a heavy weight nestled against his side — Ten’s gentle snores filtering into his ears as his heart rate slowly went back to normal.

_I’m okay_ , he reminded himself, tired eyes drifting down to where Ten still slept soundly next to him as he tried to match his breathing to the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Ten always looked so peaceful as he slept, hair soft and messy, lips slightly parted and hands looped loosely around Johnny’s waist; keeping him safe.

He could have stayed like that forever, warm and comfortable with the person he loved, if it wasn’t for the way his stomach let out a loud growl, bringing his attention to just how hungry he was and forcing him away from the comfort of Ten’s bed.

Exhaling quietly, Johnny slipped himself out of Ten’s arms, making sure not to disturb him as he dressed himself in the comfortable clothing he had left from the last time he stayed over, and padded out to the hallway. He ached a little, but not half as bad as he had predicted; giving the bruises on his face a once over in the bathroom mirror before freshening up and making his way down to the kitchen.

As expected, the kitchen was a bit of a mess when he entered; his clumsy arrival leaving pots and pans strewn carelessly across the floor. Sighing, he made quick work to picking them up, putting them all back in their original position and being careful this time with just how much noise he made.

The last thing he collected, was Ten’s knife. He found it under the table, caught against a chair leg from when Ten had hurriedly kicked it away. Picking it up, he wasted no time before sheathing the weapon, the feeling of cold metal against skin all too familiar while it sat in the palm of his hand. The knife itself, had a good weight to it, one that promoted balance and accuracy. It was old, but still in good nick, and Johnny couldn’t help but wonder whether it had belonged to Ten’s father before him. The handle in particular caught his attention the most: it was intricately carved, wood giving away to bronze with a delicate floral design spiralling across it. Then, at the base, imbedded in the body of the knife was a single Emerald. Johnny ran his thumb over the handle, letting it linger for a few second against the gemstone, before turning his gaze away.

Placing the knife carefully down on one of the counters, he instead turned his attention to Ten’s cupboards. For someone who claimed they didn’t cook, Ten sure had a strange assortment of ingredients just lying about, and Johnny was able to find everything he needed to make him and Ten pancakes while preparing the work space for cooking.

There was something about Ten’s kitchen that just deserved to be cooked in. Everything, from the marble counter tops, to the old, but high quality equipment, and Johnny couldn’t help but imagine a young Ten and his once happy family gathering in the kitchen to cook together. The thought made him smile, Johnny making a mental note to teach Ten a few basic recipes in the future.

He was just pouring the last of the pancake batter into the frying pan, humming quietly to a song playing on the radio while he finished off his cooking, when he was cut out of his concentration by a pair of arms slinking around his waist. “Are you cooking for me?” Ten questioned, head resting against Johnny’s shoulder blades as his tired eyes peaked over at the food in front of him.

“Maybe,” Johnny laughed, placing the last pancake on the stack before twisting in Ten’s arms to face him, “I wanted to say thank you, for last night — and for everything really.”

“How are you feeling by the way?” Ten questioned, “I’m surprised to see you up so early, did you sleep well?”

“I’m feeling alright for the most part.” Johnny agreed, “although I think I had a bit of a nightmare this morning.”

“Want to talk about it?” Ten coaxed, tired eyes locking onto Johnny’s as he blinked slowly up at him.

Johnny shook his head: “I’m not sure I can really explain it.” He admitted, smiling when Ten pressed a feather soft kiss against his cheek. “Anyway, what about you? Did you sleep well?”

“I did,” Ten yawned, pressing himself against Johnny’s chest as his eyes threatened to slip shut, “I always sleep well when you stay over.”

“I’m glad,” Johnny chuckled, the two of them sharing their first kiss of the day before settling down at the table with a stack of pancakes between them.

Together, they dug in, chatting quietly as the food slowly disappeared from their plates. “You know, for someone who says they can’t cook, you sure have a lot of interesting ingredients in your kitchen,” Johnny joked at one point, watching with warm eyes at Ten slathered his pancake in more maple syrup then he would ever have used, before cutting off a large bite.

“Hey, just because I can’t cook, doesn’t mean I don’t try.” He laughed in return, thrusting his fork in Johnny’s direction before taking a bite.

“Did you do a lot of cooking as a kid?”

“Kinda,” Ten shrugged, “believe it or not, cooking was my dad’s first love, so he used to spend most of his time alone in here. However, every weekend both me and mum would gather around and help him bake. Although, I have to admit I never really payed much attention, hence why I have no idea what I’m doing when I cook now.” He explained, finishing off his pancake and sighing happily, “You on the other hand seem to be a bit of a pro, where did you learn how to cook like this?”

“I’m self taught,” Johnny admitted, “I guess I just kinda pick things up as I go along.”

“Ah, one of your many talents,” Ten winked, pushing the last pancake onto Johnny plate and smiling when Johnny laughed at his action. “I’m glad you’re feeling better today,” he admitted, “you look better that’s for sure. Do you think you’ll need to check in with a medic?”

“I think I’ll be alright.” Johnny smiled back, “you did a great job of taking care of me last night.”

“Ah, well they don’t say I have healing hands for nothing.” Ten joked, wiggling his fingers in front of Johnny’s face.

“One of your many talents?” Johnny joined in, the two of them laughing together as the morning slipped slowly away from them.

***

They had been busy clearing up after breakfast, when Ten first caught sight of the knife. Pausing in what he was doing, he reached out to touch it — stopping himself at the last moment as if scared by the mere thought.

Noticing this, Johnny cleared his throat: “it’s a beautiful piece of equipment.” He stated, “Was it originally your fathers?”

“No, it was my mother’s, actually... But it had been a gift from my father.” He explained, eyes still fixed on the ornate handle as he internally debated what to do with it.

“Your father gifted a knife to your mother?”

“Yes,” laughed Ten, “it was for their wedding anniversary...”

“Wow,” Johnny blinked, “that a little different, I guess...”

“Well, dad never was the romantic type.” Ten admitted with a snort. “I inherited it, if you like, after mum left. I think he hoped it would keep me safe, and well, so far it’s done it’s job.”

Johnny let out a laugh, he definitely couldn’t disagree with that one.

They didn’t move much for the rest of the day, making their way from the kitchen to the living room and staying there as the rain fell softly against the windowpanes. It was warm inside, thanks to the gently crackling fire, and Johnny found he could almost forget the hardships of the day before, as they chatted and smoked and laughed themselves stupid over the course of the afternoon.

It wasn’t until the evening had arrived, when the two do them were lounging on the sofa as one of Ten’s father’s records played softly in the background, that the subject of work was once again brought up: “When do you have to head back?” Ten whispered, he was cradling Johnny’s head in his lap, fingers massaging through his hair as Johnny relaxed into his touch. He sounded hesitant as he spoke, as if he was just waiting for the perfect bubble of their day to pop and for Johnny to have to leave him once again.

At his question however, Johnny couldn’t help but grin, eyes fluttering open as he replied: “Not until Sunday evening.” He explained smile only growing wider as above him, Ten’s eyes lit up.

“Five whole days?” He blinked, unbelieving of his own calculations as Johnny continued to nod eagerly.

“Yup. Five whole days, you’re gonna be sick of me by then!”

“Never,” Ten dismissed with a shake of his head, “five days with you sound like everything I’ve ever wanted. I meant what I said last night,” he continued, cheeks reddening slightly as the confession slipped passed his smiling lips, “I’m in love with you,” he whispered, “and if I had the chance, I would choose to spend every single day like this.”

That statement did something funny to Johnny’s heart — a tight knot of affection forming as his smile turned impossibly soft: “I love you too.” He whispered, “And I think I’ve been in love with you for weeks now, maybe even months. It just took me to hear you say it to realise how blind I’ve been to my own feelings.” Johnny replied without an ounce of hesitation, pulling Ten down until they could connect their lips as they allowed the love they felt to flow freely and openly between one another for the first time.

***

The five days leading up to Neon’s end of week briefing, were some of the best days Johnny had ever experienced.

Him and Ten decided to take things slow for once; allowing seconds to drag out for hours as they filled their time with quietly domestic activities. It was nice, taking a step back from life for a while (especially when life usually involved some kind of illegal activity) and as Johnny lay there, Ten in his arms and the light of a new day calling, he wished (not for the first time) that they could stay like that forever.

Living with Ten felt so natural — it was in the little things, from waking up together, to cooking, to sharing the food they had prepared over a glass of wine. The normal, the domestic, the mundane everyday things feeling like treats to Johnny who had missed out on those kind of casual activities since he was a teenager.

Ten, Johnny found out, loved to talk about the future: his mind always one step ahead as he weaved tales of their time together and dreamt up technicolor images of what their life might be like in two— three— four years time. They were always a little different in each retelling, the only thing that continued to remain the same being their love for one another.

Sometimes things weren’t far from reality in the stories, Ten dreaming of weekends away from the city, and hours seizedwhen and where they could spare them. Other times, the stories varied hugely from their current life, Ten going into great detail about what they would be doing, and where they would be living if they ever did have the opportunity to get out. Johnny couldn’t help but like those stories the best, finding himself longing for the chance to live out the scenarios in real life a lot more regularly than he’d ever admit.

“Maybe we’d escape to a little place in the countryside,” Ten hummed one quite afternoon, the two of them had just finished clearing away things from Johnny’s impromptu cooking class, turned impromptu make out session, when Ten had suddenly raised the topic. Reaching forward, he rubbed a bit of flower onto Johnny’s cheek, smiling giddily as the other man pretended to take offence.

“What, you mean leave the city?” He questioned in over exaggerated shock, pulling Ten in by the front of his apron until they were almost chest to chest.

“Yeah,” Ten laughed, “we could get a cottage… or a farm house, somewhere off grid where no one we work with could find us, and we could just live a simple life.”

“That would be nice,” Johnny mused, “Maybe we could even move close to where my family are now and we could reconnect a little.”

“Definitely!” Agreed Ten with an eager nod of his head, “you can introduce me to all your family. And maybe I’ll try and locate my mum.”

“What would we do to earn money?” Johnny asked, mind drifting off to their make believe house as he imagined settling down somewhere with Ten.

“I’d do my art.” Ten stated as if it was obvious, “And you… Well, you could do whatever you wanted!” Johnny liked the sound of that, the two of them going back and forth with different ideas for an hour or so as they dreamt up fake realities with the hope that one day it might be even the littlest bit real.

On some days, the house would be filled with music and laughter, the couple launching themselves around the room like giggling drunks as they dug through Ten’s music collection and blasted song after song into the early hours of the morning.

On other days, they wouldn’t leave the comfort of Ten’s bed; bodies tangled together as they shared moments of intimacy in the early morning light. Each kiss and each gentle caress making Johnny fall a little further in love, as sun beams illuminated their skin in gentle shimmering golds.

The week moved on, and Johnny watched his bruises fade: a fact that he would usually be happy about now filling him with a melancholic ache. The sands of time waited for no one and unfortunately, as the week came to its end, Johnny’s Neon duties came calling and once again he was down to his last few hours with Ten. “I wish we didn’t have to hide this,” Ten whispered into the darkness. It was five a.m., and both he and Johnny had woken up early as if their bodies were aware that they didn’t have enough time left to just spend sleeping.

“What do you mean?” Johnny mumbled, lips pressed against Ten’s temple as his hands tightened around his waist.

“I wish we didn’t have to hide _this_.” He repeated, fingers finding Johnny’s in the dark and squeezing. “I mean,” he sighed, “We’ve been unofficially seeing each other for around three months, and sleeping with each other for two. And yet no one we know — no one we care about — is allowed to see how happy we are.”

“I know,” Johnny breathed, “but it’s safer this way.” Beside him Ten only nodded. He rolled himself until he was able to press a kiss against Johnny’s shoulder, tucking his head under his chin in a bid to hide himself away from everything that threatened to pull them apart.

“I just want to wake up with you everyday.” He mumbled, “And I want us to be by each other’s sides, and each other’s support. And I want people to know how well we fit together, and how happy we are.” Each rambling word seemed to cut Ten as deeply as it did Johnny, the two of them pulling into a tight embrace as he continued to spill his wishes against the soft fabric of Johnny’s t-shirt.

“I know,” Johnny said again, voice quieter this time and thick with longing as he listened to what Ten was saying. The truth was, he wanted that too, he wanted it all: the normal relationship where they could be loud, and proud, and happy together without the overbearing pressure of their lives, and the gangs they had been brought up in watching their every move.

Ten’s next words were so quiet, that Johnny almost didn’t hear him: “What if you hadn’t come back from the fight?” He trembled, worries that had obviously been circling his mind for the passed few days finally tumbling out.

“Ten,” Johnny hushed, running his fingers through Ten’s hair, “we can’t think like that. I’m here, aren’t I? All we can do is focus on what we have now, even if it doesn’t feel like enough.”

Ten didn’t reply to that, hands fisting themselves into Johnny’s t-shirt as quiet sniffles filled the room.

It was hard to leave Ten that day, harder than it had ever been before, Johnny physically needing to force himself away from the other man and back to the life that he no longer wanted, as the one person he wished to spend his time with stayed put. “Johnny,” Ten called before he had even made it down the front steps and out onto the road. He was watching Johnny from the doorway, mouth down turned as he reached to stop him from leaving. “I just needed to say goodbye… one last time.” He murmured, taking a couple of steps out of the house for the first time over the last five days. This was new territory for the two of them, both Ten and Johnny having agreed not to show this side of their relationship out in pubic, for their own safety.

That day, however, neither one of them could care less, not even bothering to glance around before Johnny was turning an impossibly soft smile towards Ten and circling his arms around his waist. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone,” He whispered, closing the space between them with a kiss as they held on tight to the last few seconds of their perfect five days together. The kiss was soft, warm and beautifully comforting — one that would stay with Johnny long into the night.

Eventually, they did have to separate, foreheads staying pressed together for just a moment longer, before the two of them were pulling away. “Famous last words.” Ten attempted to joke, rubbing unshed tears from his eyes as he watched him walk away.

If there was a slight movement from just down the street, neither one of them noticed, both too wrapped up in their own tragic goodbyes to take a moment to look around…


	7. When It Rains, It Pours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> I just wanted to give a little heads up, this chapter includes themes of anxiety and panic. If this kind of thing effects your well being, please don't feel you have to read <33
> 
> Thank you so much for reading so far, and I really hope you like this update~~

Johnny knew something was up as soon as he entered the warehouse.

The main room was full, just as he had expected it to be; there wasn’t a single member of Neon choosing to abandon their leader despite the disastrous fight of five days ago. It fell quiet as he entered, all eyes landing on him and watching intensely as he crossed the space.

He’d had a slow journey into work, choosing to stop off at his own apartment to grab his phone, and change into something a little more work appropriate, before heading in — eventually arriving at the main base a couple of minutes after they were due to meet.

He couldn’t help but regret that now.

Narrowing his eyes, Johnny looked around, catching the gaze of a few different members as he silently willed them to explain themselves. All he received back was a disappointed shake of the head from Mark, and a worried glance from Jaehyun.

Feeling eager to get to the bottom of things before Taeyong arrived, Johnny slid up to Chenle: “Hey,” he began, addressing the younger member in a calm, but stern voice: “what’s gotten everyone in such a shit mood? Did I miss something?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows and waiting patiently for the kid to reply. He was pleased to note that despite the gash just bellow Chenle’s hair line still being visible, the younger was looking in pretty good shape — any bruises he may have had fading until they were almost unnoticeable. What had him frowning however wasn’t the visible injury, but the way Chenle, the usually loud kid, couldn’t even bare to look him in the eye; his jaw visibly tightening as he continued to ignore Johnny’s presence, and instead turned to watch Taeyong arrive.

“Everyone! I’m glad to see you all here today.” The boss began, folding his arms across his chest as he lifted his chin to address the crowd, “Now, I know the last time we were in this room, I said we would get to the bottom of _every little thing_ that went wrong during the fight, but I’ve decided to bypass that topic for now. It’s pretty clear that last week didn’t go to plan, and I’m sure you can all agree that we are in need of a change of tactics.” He stated, commanding the room in the way that only Taeyong knew how, as he paced back and forth, in front of the wall of Neon members. “We need a change. A new and improved strategy to ensure that the next time we have a run in with the Emeralds, they are the ones that will have to pay. Not us!” A cheer went through the crowd, each member seeming to conveniently forget about the hardships they had faced — putting it all behind them for the promise of a positive future. Johnny just stayed silent, the spine tingling sensation of impending disaster hanging directly above his head, while he attempted to predict Taeyong’s next move.

“Now,” Taeyong continued, stepping into the crowd and watching with a crooked smile as the members parted before him. “You’ll probably remember, that back at the beginning of this territory dispute, I sent two of you to infiltrate the north districts warehouse.” A murmur went around the room. Johnny’s skin began to prickle as more glaring eyes were aimed his way. “What you won’t know however, is that these members brought back a _gem_ of information.” As he spoke, he motioned for Johnny to step forward, the smile that twisted his lips not reaching his eyes when Johnny took his _rightful_ place by his side.

“You see,” He continued, “The Emeralds have a weak spot.” Johnny felt himself tense, eyes flicking up from their position rooted to the floor and onto his boss: “A weak spot that lets down their otherwise impenetrable defences. A person, who lives outside the norms of the rest of the gang. As their honorary prisoner, if you like.” He explained, hyping up his story as the anticipation in the room grew heavy and dangerous. Johnny began to sweat, blood running cold as he clenched his fists; desperate to hide the shake of his hands, “And,” Taeyong laughed — _actually laughed_ — his expression bordering on manic as his eyes fell upon Johnny, “He goes by the name of Ten Lee.”

Hearing Ten’s name leave Taeyong’s lips sent a wave of nausea through Johnny, Neon’s right hand man having to physically control his breathing while his heart continued to pound beneath his bruised ribcage.

The truth was Johnny had been foolish. He had been stupid and he had thought they were safe. Since the night of the party, Taeyong hadn’t once brought Ten into conversation, Johnny coming to the conclusion that his name had been long forgotten or maybe even given up on without a single lead to take them closer to finding him _. But of course_ , it could never be _that simple_. _And of course,_ Johnny could never be _that lucky —_ stupidly allowing himself to let his guard down and walking directly into Taeyong’s waiting trap.

He took a trembling breath, the shallow inhalation doing little to actually calm him down as he willed himself not to vomit right in front of the entire gang.

Before he could do anything, however, Taeyong began to speak again. His voice pulled Johnny abruptly out of his panic, sharp words continuing to stab into him: “Oh, and Johnny,” he called, grabbing Johnny’s shoulder with an iron grip and pulling him close, “As you were one of the people who discovered this information — my right hand man, _and_ the _strongest member of Neon,_ I though it would be best to trust this task specifically to you.” He scorned, cold glare and wrathful tone of voice being all the evidence Johnny needed, to know that Taeyong had found out.

“What’s the plan?” He just about choked out, ignoring the fight or flight instinct that had instantly kicked in and forcing himself to stay still. His head felt like it was burning, a constant cycle of _he knows, he knows, he knows,_ chanting on loop while he willed himself to remain calm.

“That’s simple: get him to us.” Taeyong stated as if it was the most obvious answer. “Get him to us by whatever means possible. Because once we have him, we have the emeralds.” There was a pause, Taeyong’s eyes drilling into Johnny’s as his fingers dug into skin. “Like you said on the night of the party: with enough preparation, it would be easy to take him down. So, this shouldn’t be so hard, s _hould it?”_ He was patronising him, his grip continuing to tighten as Johnny failed to meet his gaze.

“Get him to you…” He nodded, “and then what?” He already knew the answer to his question long before Taeyong opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn’t help but ask anyway — hoping desperately that his leader would prove him wrong.

“And then you kill him.”

Johnny swallowed thickly: “And then I… kill him.” He repeated, voice breaking as the words were pushed passed his lips. He forced himself to nod again— meeting Taeyong’s watchful eyes with his own anxious pair.

The way the leader of Neon was looking at him, said more than words ever would. There was an expectancy in his eyes, his stoney expression letting Johnny know just how little he trusted him. He knew about their relationship, that much was certain, and now he was waiting. Waiting for Johnny to crumble. Watching carefully for the telltale signs of a guilty man. “When do you want him by?” Johnny found himself asking, not quite sure just where the question had come from, but knowing he had to say something.

“Tomorrow night, at the very latest. Can I trust you to do this?” Taeyong asked, despite knowing full well that he couldn’t. The whole room fell deathly quiet, each member waiting with bated breath for Johnny to answer.

“You always can.” Johnny agreed, panic only growing as the room let out a murmur around him.

“That’s what I was hoping to hear.” Taeyong nodded, spinning on his heels and beckoning Jaehyun forward with a twitch of his head, “But just incase you need a little… _encouragement_ , Jaehyun, I want you to assist.” 

“Yes boss,” Agreed Jaehyun. The member of Neon fixing their leader with an easy smile and flashing his signature dimples.

“Okay,” Taeyong clapped his hands together, looking as if he had just finished arranging plans for a casual meet up, rather than the murder of a person. “I’m sure you’ve both got a lot to organise. I’ll let you use whatever you need to get this done. But Johnny,” He added, almost as an after thought, “If you break your word, there’s no telling what will happen.”

Johnny didn’t bite back at that threat, despite how much he wanted to. Instead he gritted his teeth, giving one more firm nod to Taeyong and making his way towards the exit.

He only managed to take a few steps out of the warehouse doors, before his fear got the better of him; panic flooding him and forcing shudders through his entire body. He couldn’t breathe, lungs struggling to take in enough air as he attempted to come up with a plan of action.

“You alright, John?” Jaehyun whispered when he made it into the fresh air, watching from the side of the warehouse as Johnny began to breakdown.

“No,” Johnny shook his head, “No…no I’m… _shit_ — I…” He hissed, legs pacing him back and forth as if torn between heading straight back in and dealing with Taeyong right there and then, or going straight to Ten. A voice in the back of his head told him both options could be dangerous, one hundred different possibilities running through his mind as he tried to work out the best step forward. He could still hear Taeyong talking in the warehouse, the leader probably going over his separate plan of how to take Johnny down when he _no doubt failed_. He pushed this unhelpful paranoia out of his head, raking his hands repetitively through his hair while his body went into overdrive. “I’ve got to get out.” He muttered, shaking his head and fumbling clumsily with his car keys. “I need to leave now.” As he spoke, he began to make a b-line for his car, ignoring Jaehyun, who trailed behind him like a lost puppy.

“At least let me come with you,” argued his friend. He grabbed Johnny by the arm, forcing him to a stop. “You need my help with this.” He whispered, eyes trying to convey a sense of truth to Johnny as they bore into his.

“I can’t.” Johnny disagreed, pushing weakly at Jaehyun’s hands, “I can’t— Ten— I need to. _Fuck_. I need to go!”

“I know,” Jaehyun nodded, refusing to let go.

“No you don’t.” Agonised Johnny, his shaking fingers failing toshove Jaehyun away as he practically dragged the other man towards his car, “You don’t know a _fucking_ thing, Jaehyun. I… I’m…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, lungs threatening to give up as the desperation to get away overwhelmed him.

“You’re in love with him. Right?” Jaehyun finished for him, his words working to successfully shut Johnny up, as he turned to face him with a knowing stare.

“I— How…?” Johnny croaked, his broken sentence not being given the opportunity to form when Jaehyun brushed him off with a shake of his head.

“Johnny, look…” He glanced around, lowering his voice even further, “Not here, okay. Get in the car and I’ll tell you everything.” Johnny didn’t feel he could argue with that, allowing Jaehyun to usher him over to the passenger side as he sunk in behind the wheel.

***

The drive to his apartment had never felt so long, Johnny tapping his foot obsessively as Jaehyun took them through the familiar city streets.

“How did Taeyong find out?” He all but demanded as soon as they made it away from the warehouse and onto the main road, paranoia keeping him quiet until he was sure no one else could be listening.

“From what I know, he’s been keeping loose tabs on Ten for a while now. So, honestly, the fact that he didn’t find out sooner is kind of insane.” Jaehyun began. He kept to the speed limit as he drove, expression calm despite the air of anxiety that surrounded them. “Taeil’s been digging up information for him since the party. First, he found Ten’s full name. Then, what he looked like. And finally, his address. Taeyong sent some of the younger guys to scope the area around Ten’s place out this morning, and according to them, they saw you leaving.” Johnny couldn’t help but wince at that statement, eyes scrunching shut as he realised just what intimate goodbyes they would have seen. “Everyone knows about it, and they seem to think that you’ve been working for the Emeralds the entire time.”

“But you don’t?” Johnny shot back, “In fact, you don’t sound at all shocked by any of this?” He said instead of dwelling on the facts, rounding on Jaehyun with narrowed eyes.

“I know you’re not working for the Emeralds, because that’s just common scene.” Jaehyun said with a roll of his eyes, “And I know about your relationship with Ten because I saw you together at the party. Then suddenly you were the only person who knew who Ten was. You started disappearing and arriving to meetings late. You always seemed so distant when talking about the Emeralds, and when Taeyong showed me a picture of Ten I guess I just put two and two together. But look, despite what you may think, I’m not here to judge you, or drive you back to Taeyong, or even convince you to go through with his plan. I’m here to get you out.”

“Why?” Blinked Johnny. His body sank back into his car seat, all the fight leaving him in one go.

“Because it’s fucked up, and I don’t agree with it.” He explained, “Taeyong’s been suspicious of you for a while now... I don’t think he knew about you and Ten till today, but he sure knew something was up. He’s made me promise not to tell you anything about the Ten situation, said that if you wanted to know, you would come to him. And, of course, when you didn’t that just made him doubt you more. Besides,” he continued, finally glancing at Johnny with a deep sympathy in his eyes, “I’ve know you for years now, and for you to look that destroyed by the mention of a name…” he shook his head, as if the memory alone was bad enough, “this Ten guy obviously means a lot to you.”

Johnny didn’t know how to reply to that, his entire being filling up with just how much of an understatement Jaehyun’s words were — yet how true they still rang.

He didn’t have long to contemplate anything however, as finally, they were pulling up to Johnny’s apartment.

Launching himself out of the car, he took two steps at a time, pushing his way into his place and moving towards his wardrobe. He had to act fast. He had to pack, and grab Ten and get out before it was too late. The more logical side of his brain reminded him that Taeyong was probably watching his every move, and heading straight to Ten would be exactly what he was expecting. But he didn’t have time to worry about that now, knowing full well that the only way he was getting out, was with Ten by his side.

Jaehyun arrived to his apartment a few seconds after Johnny did, watching him cautiously from the door as he packed clothing and food and any important possessions into his suitcase. Johnny stuffed as much as he could into his luggage, forcing it closed before starting on his rucksack. It was difficult to choose what to take and what to leave when you were desperate to get moving, and Johnny regretted not having the privilege of time on his side, as he worked to clear his place.

If he wasn’t in a rush, he might have been able to appreciate everything a little more, mind traveling back over the years of his life spent in the apartment, and his corresponding time in Neon, as it all finally came to an end. Instead, his mind was almost empty as he packed, the last memory of being there with Ten flitting momentarily across his vision before that too was ignored. He could mourn his past later, but right now he just had to get going.

As he turned back around, Johnny was surprised to see an envelope clasped in Jaehyun’s outstretched hands: “Take this.” He instructed, waiting for Johnny to reach forward before practically forcing the envelope towards him.

“What is it?”

“Enough cash to last you the next few weeks.” He explained, “Look, I said I would help you, and that means making sure you can survive out there while you’re looking for somewhere to go.”

Johnny eye’d the money, lips twitching into a barely there smile as he tucked the envelope into his bag.

“Also,” Jaehyun cleared his throat, “I want you to have this.” He slipped his hand into his trouser pocket, swiftly removing a hand gun like it was the most expected item for him to find in there.

Seeing this, Johnny recoiled. Neon didn’t carry guns and never had — trading in the weapons for money, but never keeping any for themselves. “Where the fuck did you get that?” He asked reproachfully, refusing to take it as he eyed Jaehyun in a whole different light.

“Best not to ask,” Jaehyun stated, eyes hard as he passed the weapon over. “Just take it. You don’t have to use it, but if anything goes wrong, it will give you the upper hand.”

Johnny wasn’t so sure he agreed, but he took the gun regardless, slipping it into the back of his trousers before pulling Jaehyun in for a short hug. “Thank you,” he mumbled, “I don’t think I can ever repay you for this.”

“You don’t need to.” Jaehyun assured, “Just get out of here, and promise me you won’t regret it.”

“I won’t regret it, I promise.” Johnny assured, grabbing his packed possessions and stepping away. Before he made it past his friend, however, he paused, scanning around the place that had been his home since he was a teenager, one last time, and preparing himself to leave it all behind: “Everything in this place is yours.” He stated, “I’m not sure how much it’s worth, but hopefully if you sell it, it might earn back the help you’ve given me.”

“Johnny…” Jaehyun shook his head, looking as if he was going to refuse.

“Oh, and if they ask,” Johnny continued, cutting Jaehyun off before he had a chance to argue, “tell them you tried to stop me, but I got away. Don’t put yourself in the firing line just for me.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun eventually sighed, shooting Johnny one last sympathetic look before stepping out of his way. “Be safe, John.” He murmured, sending him off with a final salute.

Johnny only nodded in return, fishing his apartment keys out from his pocked and chucking them in Jaehyun’s direction, before turning away. He didn’t stop moving then, until he was out of the building and into his car, not even thinking to look back as he stamped his feet on the gas and sped off towards Ten’s place.

It started to rain as he made it onto the main road, spitting droplets soon turning into torrents of crashing water as his car battled its way through the stormy weather. It seemed fitting, he thought to himself, that the city would also be mourning their departure. He gripped his steering wheel a little harder, fingers squeezing so tight, that his knuckles turned white.

***

The drive to Ten’s was as quick as it always was, the roads seeming suspiciously empty as Johnny pulled off the main street and into Ten’s neighbourhood.

Parking in his usual spot, he exited his car, readying himself to round the corner of the street that would lead to Ten’s house when: he heard a noise that had him stopping dead in his tracks.

Freezing, Johnny dropped into a crouch, peering through the chainlink fence that surrounded the side street and trying to make out the scene in from of him. “Crap,” he swore under his breath, eyes locking onto the four figures that guarded Ten’s front door as the adrenaline in his blood continued to pump.

_They had been expecting him._

“Why do we have to do this?” One of the four guards men asked, their complaints being met with groans from the other three members as they told him to be quiet.

“It’s just a job, Jaemin.” One of them hissed, “Be quiet and get back into position.” The understandably disgruntled member did as he was told, dragging his feet back to his standing space, as he held his weapon a little tighter in his grip. Each of them were armed with a length of steel piping, and Johnny couldn’t help but wince at the idea of coming into contact with one of them.

“I just think it’s unfair that we’re stuck out here in the middle of a fucking rain storm while everyone else—”

“Shut up!” Elected the rest of the voices, a small argument breaking out between the four of them as they rounded on the one vocal member.

Using this as a distraction, Johnny slipped out of his hiding place and into Ten’s back garden, pushing himself through the broken window like he’d done less than a week ago, and dropping quietly onto the kitchen floor.

The house was silent and bathed in darkness. Not a single light illuminated the room. Johnny listened carefully for any sign of movement, creeping his way into the living room and glancing carefully around: “Ten?” He called into the stillness, hoping desperately that he hadn’t been too late. “Ten?”

Almost as soon as he spoke, there was a sound from the stairs, Johnny looking up in time to see Ten rush towards him: “Johnny,” he breathed, arm’s wrapping around Johnny’s neck as he pulled him into an embrace. “You can’t be here.” He exclaimed, “Doyoung knows about us. He knows, and he fucking angry, and if he sees you… God if he see you I think he’s gonna kill you.” He rambled, shaking hands pushing Johnny back into the kitchen as he tried to force him out of the house. “Just leave, get out of here before it’s too late. Yangyang saw us this morning…” he continued, voice cracking with obvious hurt as he admitted that it was someone he trusted that forced them into this position, “he thought I was working for Neon and told Doyoung. Jeno, Sungchan, Jaemin and him have been keeping watch since you left. You have to get out now before they realise you were here.”

“No.” Johnny shook his head, stopping them in their tracks and holding Ten’s hands in his own, “Ten, I can’t leave you.” He disagreed, “Taeyong also knows about us, and he knows about you and he wants me to…” The sentence seemed to stick in his throat, voice hoarse as he forced it out, “He want’s me to be the one to kill you and I can’t—” his words started to fail him again, the mere thought making him sick to his stomach. He shook his head to clear it of the images of Ten’s lifeless body, his fingers securing themselves to the fabric of Ten’s shirt and grounding him there: “I can’t do that.” His voice shook as he spoke, Johnny allowing Ten to pull him close to his chest, as he soothed his fingers through his hair. “God this is all my fault. I should never have said anything.” He rambled, the guilt he had been harbouring from the night of the party coming back with a vengeance.

“What do you mean,” Ten croaked, the tremor in his fingers worsening as they continued to brush through strands of Johnny’s hair, “How could this be your fault? Johnny, neither of us had any idea that they were gonna find out.”

“No, but Ten,” Johnny screwed his eyes shut, “I told Taeyong that I knew who you were. On the night of the party, me and Jaehyun got some information about you, and I told him we had fought. Now he’s using that against us. If it wasn’t for me, he would have never had your name to being with.”

For a moment, there was silence, the room stilling as Ten took in what he had admitted: “Okay,” he eventually managed, “we can’t change that now Johnny, shhh,” he hushed, sounding relatively unsurprised as he coaxed Johnny’s head up in order to press a chaste kiss against his lips. “We just need to… we just need to think of something.” He concluded, failing to hide the panic in his voice as the depth of the situation really sunk in.

“We need to get out.” Johnny supplied for him, “This is it, Ten. This is our chance and we need to get out right now.”

For a moment, he was scared Ten was going to disagree; eyes blinking slowly as he glanced anxiously between Johnny, and the outside world. Then finally, he nodded, giving Johnny’s hand a tight squeeze before darting away from his side: “I’m already packed,” he stated, rushing up the stairs and returning seconds later with a suitcase in tow. Johnny let out a sigh of relief, a flicker of hope threatening to illuminate inside him for the first time since everything had gone down. This was it. This was really it: Freedom! A life for the two of them, far away from either Neon, the Emeralds, or the dammed city. The reality of it all so close, that he could almost reach out a grab it.

They didn’t waste a second after that, the two of them moving back into the kitchen and over to the backdoor as they prepared to leave the once safe haven of Ten’s house. Just before they left however, Ten paused, fishing out his knife from his pocked, and chucking it absentmindedly onto the table. “I won’t be needing this anymore,” He smiled — the excited energy that had begun to form slipping out for just a second as they continued forward and into the night.

The rain hadn’t let up since Johnny’s arrival, somehow managing to become heavier in the few short minutes that he’d been inside; the previously damp streets now flowing like shallow streams, as water soaked itself into hair and onto exposed skin. It was the kind of weather that would drench you instantly. The kind of ice cold rain that kept people inside and off the dark dank streets. Johnny kept his hand in Ten’s, ignoring the bitter chill that settled into his now heavy clothes while he and Ten moved as quietly as they could.

They had just made it past the house, eyes locked on Johnny’s car, when Ten’s suitcase snagged on a crack in the road — wheels twisting and luggage scraping against the road as a shout from the other side of the clearing startled them: “Hey!” Yelled one of the guards, the sound of feet charging against wet ground suddenly audible as the younger members gained on them. Johnny refused to look back, sights still set on the space ahead of them as they rounded the corner that would lead to where he was parked. They were so close now, feet skidding on wet tarmac, but minds determined — their freedom right in front of them.

Before they could reach it however, they were stopped; Johnny feeling the small bubble of hope shatter inside of him, as several new figures emerged from the shadows: “You boys in a hurry?” Doyoung asked, chin raised and mouth set in a thin line as he addressed the deserters with folded arms. Flanking him on either side was Sicheng and Lucas, Johnny automatically gripping Ten’s hand a little tighter as he allowed a new edge of fear take over.

“Doyoung, Sicheng, Lucas.” Ten acknowledged, stepping in front of Johnny as if to take the direct blow, “Do you really have nothing better to be doing right now?” He jeered, obviously trying to gain some kind of rise out of the other men with his teasing words.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, Ten?” Doyoung laughed, “You of all people should know by now that our number one priority has _always_ been to _protect you_.” He drawled. A cold smile stretched across his lips. He clicked his fingers, watching with narrowed eyes as Lucas and Sicheng stepped forward.

“I have to say, Ten,” Sicheng sneered, swinging his own steel pole in a sleek formation as he took a step towards the couple, “I’m a little disappointed. I mean, come on! Out of all of the mess you could possibly get yourself involved in, the last thing I expected you to do was fall in love with the fucking enemy.” He spat, shoving purposely into Ten’s side as he and Lucas began to circle them, like wild animals circled their prey.

“Fuck off.” Ten hissed, eyes flitting from person to person as he struggled to take them all in.

“I mean, I don’t know who I’m more upset for?” Sicheng continued, obviously enjoying the way he was able to rile the two of them up so easily, “You, for throwing away everything we’ve worked to protect over your entire life. Or Johnny, and the terrible feud his reckless actions have no doubt created between him and his owner.” From behind them, Lucas let out a laugh, the sound alerting Johnny to his whereabouts as he twisted to keep an eye on him. “But just answer me this one thing:” Sicheng added, voice filled with twisted mirth as he fixed his sights on Ten, “was he worth it?” As he spoke, Lucas used the opportunity to take his first swing, metal pole moving towards Ten with agile precision.

Having fought the other man multiple times over his years in Neon, Johnny predicted his move. He pushed forward, tackling Lucas in the side and forcing him down. They hit the ground with a sickening crunch, Lucas grunted, letting go of his weapon for a split second and watching to his horror as it clattered out of reach.

There was a momentary scuffle, Johnny trying his hardest to push the pole further from Lucas’s grip as the two of them fought to get back on their feet. Behind him, both Ten and Sicheng sprung into action, going head to head with clashing fists as they offered their assistance in anyway they could.Johnny couldn’t help but smile when he saw this, watching from his peripheral vision as Ten turned the energy he had once channeled into their own fight, onto the man in front of him. Ten pushed Sicheng to the ground in one easy motion, landing a few hard hits directly against his face. It felt like pay back, the fury in his eyes letting the Emeralds know just how pissed off he was.

Feeling a surge of motivation, Johnny fought on, shoving Lucas away from him in an attempt to roll out of his hold. It was almost poetic, he thought to himself, that they’d be ending their time in the gangs, in the same way that they had met: caught in the middle of a stand off, with no other option than to fight their way out. This time, however, instead of being on opposing teams, they were on their own side; fuck the gangs and fuck old loyalty. Fighting side by side against them all.

Despite his best efforts, Johnny’s attempt get the upper hand failed — Lucas grabbing him by the collar and sending a punch directly into his jaw. The force of the punch ricocheted Johnny’s head into the road, his ears ringing and eyes briefly losing focus as a dull ache radiated through his skull. For a moment, the edges of the world seemed to blur, Johnny allowing the exhaustion of the evening to take over him as he struggled against Lucas.

Somewhere in the distance, he could just about make out the sound of Ten’s voice, strangled cry of anger audible over the sound of Doyoung’s next command: “Finish this, Lucas.” He instructed, words ringing out at the exact same time as Sicheng, who had managed to grab Ten into a head lock, chucked his own steel piping over to the bodyguard.

Waving his hand dismissively, Doyoung turned to walk away. After all, why would he stay and watch? His work there was already done.

Lucas caught the pipping in mid air. He sucked in a breath, eyes dark as moved towards Johnny. Johnny wasn’t ready for this, he wasn’t ready to die; the realisation of exactly what was about to happen hitting them all as Lucas raised his weapon — reading himself to deliver the final blow.

“Don’t fucking touch him!” Screamed Ten, nails digging into the flesh on Sicheng’s arm and small stature working to his advantage as he slipped out of his hold; pushing himself forward and crashing his body into Lucas. Having not anticipated Ten’s action, Lucas was easily bowled over; Ten managing to give Johnny all the time he needed to get away.

For once, it worked, Johnny grabbing hold of Ten and pulling them both to their feet as his free hand uncovered his concealed weapon. “Get back!” He yelled, cocking the gun and aiming it first at Lucas, then at Sicheng, before finally resting on Doyoung. The entire street seemed to hold its breath, nothing but the constant pummelling rain moving around them as Johnny kept the gun locked and loaded on the leader of the Emeralds.

Hearing the warning in his voice, Doyoung stopped, head tilting to watch Johnny in his peripheral vision as his jaw clenched.

“You don’t want to do that.” Growled Lucas, the bodyguard only managing to take a single step forward before Johnny was pointing the gun at him.

“I said get the _fuck_ back!” He threatened again, shaking hands exposing just how terrified he was as he pointed the weapon back towards Doyoung. “Or I’ll shoot your precious leader right fucking now.”

“Johnny…” Ten whispered.

From the other side of Doyoung, Sicheng let out a hollow laugh: “You won’t,” he taunted, words not sounding half as convincing as he probably hoped they would, “You haven’t got the nerve.”

“Johnny…” Ten whispered again, the plea in his voice loud and clear.

“Fucking watch me.” Johnny seethed, unsure of just what he was about to do as his finger hovered dangerously close to the trigger.

For a heart stopping second, the world appeared to freeze, all eyes watching Johnny as the emerging crowd of gang members fell silent. Nobody dared to move, and nobody dared to stop him — silence taking over as Johnny prepared himself for the inevitable.

His finger twitched, bile rising in his throat as he gritted his teeth when: A yell sounded from the other side of the group, unexpected force connecting with Johnny’s body and propelling him backwards. Johnny felt his eyes go wide, vision blurring as the world tilted and he went tumbling down. The throbbing that started the moment he hit the ground was worse than the one already in the back of his head, the pain forcing his eyes to scrunch shut as the sound of hammering rain slowly drifted back into his senses.

“Johnny!” Ten cried from above him, strong hands pulling him up as he pushed Johnny’s attacker away form him.

The gun, that had been knocked out of Johnny’s grip, skidded across the road, the person who had barged into his side picking it up in one smooth movement and aiming it directly at the couple.

“Yangyang…” Ten choked, stepping in front of Johnny as he stretched out his hand to stop the younger man: “Please don’t do this.” He begged, edging closer as he stared his fellow Emerald member down. “Think about this. _Please_ Yangyang, you’ve always been like a little brother to me, don’t do this. Don’t sink to _their level_.”

Yangyang, who in the face of fear had managed to spring into action, gripped the gun between his trembling hands. He looked petrified — the mask of confidence slipping until his true panic was spilling out for all too see. He kept the barrel pointed directly at Johnny, trying his hardest to steady his aim as his lips pulled back into a grimace: “He was going to kill Doyoung!” He shrieked, that fact alone being enough to justify his actions.

“He was trying to protect me!” Ten argued back. “We just want to leave. We just want to be fucking happy, and instead we’re here, having to take part in some stupid fucking stand off over our lives, and for what? To punish us for being in love? Please,” He begged again, “is that really so wrong?” No one answered, “Is love really so fucking wrong?” Still, no one spoke.

For a moment, it looked as if Ten’s words were getting through to the younger member, Johnny blinking rain out of his eyes as in front of him, Yangyang began to lower his weapon.

“Do you count this as a win?” Ten continued, voice rough from yelling as he turned his attention towards Doyoung. The leader of the Emeralds was still stood with his back to the situation — too afraid to move and end up with a lungful of lead. “Because doing this is never going to make you more powerful. Doing this is never going to help you beat Neon. In fact, you might as well just kill me right now, because if you think for one second that I’m going to let you rest after this — that I’m going to stand by and behave, then you have no fucking clue what’s coming for you.” He sneered, eyes furious as he fixed the other man with a cold, hard stare.

“Are you threatening me?” Doyoung asked with an air of false calm. He slowly turned around, eyes not even paying the slightest bit of attention to Yangyang as the younger tightened his grip once again, continuing to point the gun directly at Johnny. Ten didn’t reply, spitting angrily at the ground in front of Doyoung’s feet as the leader continued to bristle. “I said: are you fucking threatening me?”

The next few seconds passed in a lightening quick flash: first, Johnny stepped forward, Ten’s name leaving his lips in a panic as Doyoung rounded on him — hand wrenching the metal pole our of Lucas’s grip as he prepared to strike. Second, Ten’s focus flickered over to Johnny, eyes widening at something Johnny couldn’t see, as his entire expression fell. “Get back!” He warned, feet skidding against the damp road as the staggered desperately towards him. And then finally _— BANG —_ Yangyang pulled the trigger.

The gun shot echoed around the clearing, Johnny watching in horror as the bullet that was meant for him spiralled towards Ten. “No. Fuck!” He heard himself scream, reaction leaving him too late as the bullet tore a hole in Ten’s shoulder.

The force of the collision tripped him mid stride.

Ten crumpled; body scraping against the cold wet ground as his gasp cut through the tension of the street. He looked a little shellshocked, eyes wide and blinking rapidly as he tugged desperately at the buttons of his shirt, failing to expose the full extent of the damage. A guttural cry of agony forced its way passed his lips, his body sucking in sharp shallow breaths as he attempted to keep himself stable.

Kicking himself into action, Johnny dropped down next to him; pulling Ten into his lap as he cradled him in his arms. “Ten,” He choked, “no, no, no _—fuck_. No, this can’t be happening. Please.” He stuttered, brushing the stands of wet hair away from Ten’s eyes as his own trailed over the bloom of red that pooled just bellow Ten’s right collarbone. “Ten, baby can you hear me? I’m here, you’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be just fine. You have to be. Please, you have to be alright.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss into Ten’s damp hair as his hand began to apply pressure to the wound.

At his position to the side of the crowd, Yangyang cursed loudly — the sound of a gun clattering to the ground audible as he buried his hands into his hair. “No…” he croaked, “I didn’t— that wasn’t. Shit, Ten, I never meant to get him.” He continued to ramble, entire body shaking from head to toe as another member of the emeralds rushed over to comfort him.

Johnny didn’t pay him any attention, using all his concentration to stem the flow of blood as Ten whimpered incoherently bellow him. He was going into shock, skin pale and sickly, lungs working rapidly to suck in shallow breath after shallow breath. “Johnny,” He just about managed, pain pulling another cry out of him as his blood stained fingers gripped hold of Johnny’s arm — eyes moving rapidly and lashes fluttering against his skin. “Johnny—” he gasped again. Rain streamed across his face like tears, his glazed eyes full of fear, and agony while he gazed up at Johnny — terrified, confused and ever so lost, desperately holding on to the one person grounding him.

“Ten, it’s okay. Don’t speak, save your strength.” Johnny begged, pulling him closer and turning his attention to the people around them: “Help,” his voice cracked painfully as he called out, eyes searching frantically for a single helpful face in the emerging crowd of stunned onlookers, “Someone get some fucking help!” He tried again, desperation and anger merging together as Ten’s fluttering eyes began to lose focus; fading in and out of consciousness like a bad dream. “Please,” His voice broke, the tears that had been threatening to fall since he’d left Ten earlier that day spilling down his cheek and mixing with the rain that already lay there. “He’s bleeding out, we can save him but we have to stop the bleeding. Please, I’m begging you.” He pleaded, hugging Ten’s shuddering form to his chest and not pausing to worry about the blood that soaked into his clothes.

Still, no one moved a muscle, each person staring in shock at the situation in front of them.

The last dregs of hope washed away then, carried off like Ten’s blood on the rain soaked street — everything the two of them had talked about over the past few weeks disappearing right in front of his eyes. This was it… he was going to lose him. Curling himself forward, Johnny pressed a kiss against Ten’s cheek, broken sob ripping itself from his throat as he failed to hold himself together for any longer: “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “Ten, I’m so sorry. I did this to you. This should never have happened. Fuck—” He cried, “I love you… I love you and I’m not ready for this… please don’t leave me.” He could feel his heart breaking, body beginning to shutdown as he held Ten tight against his chest.

“We need to get him out of the rain.” Johnny jumped as a voice sounded from beside him, head twisting violently as he came face to face with none other than Doyoung himself. “Jungwoo,” called the leader of the Emeralds, “We’re gonna need your medical assistance. Jaemin, Jeno, clear a space in the house. Lucas, help him up. We need to work fast to stop the bleeding and get him to a hospital. Understood?” There was a sound of general agreement from around the group different people beginning to rush from A to B as they scrambled to attention.

“Could you do with a few extra hands?” A new voice sounded, Johnny and Doyoung looking around just in time to see Taeyong and Jaehyun emerge from the shadows, fully stocked medical kit held between them as the Neon medic Dejun rushed over to join Jungwoo by Ten’s side.

“Taeyong?” Doyoung blinked, the Emeralds leader standing to attention as the other man came into view. Whatever shock he felt was quickly shaken away by the clearing of his throat, Doyoung folding his arms behind his back as he gave a sharp nod. “I don’t see why not.” He agreed, “We need to get him up and into the house, do you think your members would be able to help with that?”

“Certainly,” Taeyong nodded, giving the command to Yuta and Mark, before taking a step back as they rushed forward to help.

Johnny didn’t know how to react, not even trying to comprehend the situation as he became aware of the other members hoisting Ten up, and out of his arms. He didn’t want to leave Ten’s side, fresh panic prickling his heart as his fingers were prised from Ten’s clothing — the members of the two opposing gangs working faster than Johnny could process, as they carried him through the house and into the kitchen.

As soon as he was alone, Jaehyun was by his side, ushering Johnny into Ten’s living room and smothering him with a blanket. “He’s gonna be okay, Johnny.” He whispered, a few other Neon members offering their apologies while they got to work on whatever the two leaders had sent them to do. Unable to answer, Johnny just watched; mind and body completely numb as he waited for everything to make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you in the final chapter!!


	8. Together

_Beep…Beep…Beep_

The steady rhythm of Ten’s heart monitor rang out through the hospital room.

Everything was still, and quiet. From the calm night outside to the gentle rise and fall of Ten’s chest.

Johnny was asleep in the chair beside his bed, hands linked loosely with Ten’s, and head resting against his knees while he dozed in and out of slumber.

It had been two long days since they had tried to escape. Two long days of hospital visits and lifesaving operations. Two long days of silence.

Johnny wasn’t sure how they did it, but after taking Ten inside, not only were the two medics able to slow the bleeding, but also arrange to get him to a hospital before it was too late. Hours passed like seconds for Johnny as he was taken away from the scene of the crime and forced into some dry clothes, before finally being delivered to Ten’s bedside.

Since then, it had been quiet. Ten, had been quiet.

At one point, it had looked as if he was about to wake up. The anaesthetic from his surgery had begun to wear off that morning, Ten’s eyes blinking open, once, twice, a third time — glassy gaze struggling to focus on anything while the doctors went over their usual vital checks. Then, he had fallen asleep once again. “He’ll be fine,” a nurse had assured Johnny, noticing the concern etched into his features, “why don’t you go home and get some rest. After all, you have your own injuries, and the best way to recover is to get a good night’s sleep.”

“I want to stay.” Johnny had disagreed, keeping his eyes locked on Ten’s peaceful expression as he made himself comfortable by his side. He hardly gave a single thought to his own aches and pains, the dressing on his freshly scraped knuckles, and the tender spot on the back of his skull barely even registering in light of everything else. After all, he had already been checked over by Dejun, and if the Neon medic said he’d be fine, then he’d be fine.

No one had bothered him after that, Johnny wondering absentmindedly just what either Taeyong or Doyoung had said, or perhaps _bribed_ the hospital with to stop them from asking difficult questions.

From time to time people would come in and out of the room: sometimes staff, sometimes visitors; Johnny finding his hands full with hot drinks and canteen food as different members of both Neon and the Emeralds came in to see how they were doing. They’d only stay for a few minutes, chatting as casually as they could in the situation they had found themselves in before leaving again. Johnny got the sense they were only there to fill an obligation, maybe to report back to the bosses, or simply because they felt bad about what had happened. Either way, he let them stay, indulging them in stilted conversation before the silence of the hospital was once again upon him.

Out of everyone, Jaehyun was the most common visiter, Johnny’s friend checking in on him regularly throughout the day as he tried to make sure he was doing okay. He’d pull up a chair next to Johnny’s own, two hospital coffees (that were always too weak for Johnny’s liking) in his hands, as he gazed over the person in front of them. “Any news?” He asked, sinking back into the chair and handing one of the cups over to Johnny. He crossed his leg over his knee, stance relaxed despite the concern in his voice.

“Not really,” Johnny sighed, “the doctor said this is normal after the kind of injuries and surgery Ten’s been through. They expect him to wake up properly any time over the next day or so. For now, they just come in to check him routinely and make sure his vitals are all okay.”

“I guess that’s something,” Jaehyun smiled, the same sympathetic look that he’d been sending Johnny since the day of the incident coming back again and again.

“What about you? How have things been in Neon since…” he made a vague gesture, “well, since all of this.”

“It’s been quiet.” Jaehyun admitted, “Taeyong and Doyoung have reached some kind of ceasefire for now, although who knows how long that will last.” He said with a laugh and a roll of his eyes. “But other than that, it’s been alright, more than alright actually. I get the sense that this might be some sign of change to come. But then again, who really knows? Chances are I’m just looking too deeply into nothing.”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Johnny hummed, taking a sip of his barely coffee flavoured water and grimacing at the taste, “what exactly happened that night— I mean, not with the fight, or Ten getting shot or any of that. But with Taeyong and Doyoung… why did they step in to help?”

“I think you’re gonna have to ask them that yourself.” Jaehyun shrugged.

Johnny just sighed, “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.”

“Sorry,” Jaehyun apologised, downing the rest of his now lukewarm coffee with a shudder, before a flash of guilt moved across his features: “You know,” he paused to clear his throat, “I can’t help but see this as my fault.” He admitted, guilty eyes refusing to meet Johnny’s. “If I had never given you that gun, none of this would have happened, and Ten wouldn’t be in the state he is now.”

“Jae,” Johnny heard himself sigh, “what happened, happened. There’s nothing we can do to change it now, so instead of regretting your passed actions, we should be happy that the outcome wasn’t much worse than this.”

“I know,” Jaehyun breathed, running his fingers through his un-styled hair as he continued to look anywhere other than Ten. “But you should hate me. I was foolish and it ended in Ten being injured and—”

“—And I didn’t have to use to the Gun. No one forced me to, but I still did. I’m not exactly innocent in this either, you know? If anyones at fault, it’s me.”

“Thats not…” Jaehyun trailed off, “but you weren’t actually going to shoot anyone, right?” He sounded notably concerned at that last bit, the frown between his brow letting Johnny know just how important his next words were.

“Right…” he lied, remembering the weight of the gun in his hands and the fear he had felt. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure just what he would have done if Yangyang hadn’t stopped him that night. A shiver ran up his spine, all the possibilities from that split second moment rushing back to him. He wouldn’t have pulled the trigger, would he? _Surely_ he couldn’t have actually shot someone? As much as he hoped that to be true, he just wasn’t sure, the thought alone settling a heavy uneasiness into his gut. “Where did you get it from anyway?” He asked, desperate to take his mind of his spiralling thoughts.

At this, Jaehyun’s eyes hit the floor, watching for a few seconds as his foot tapped repetitively in place before he eventually spoke: “I nicked it…”

“From where?”

“A shipment.” He admitted, “Taeyong sent me to babysit some of the newer guys and while they were slacking off I took one. It was a couple of days after the second fight with the emeralds, and I was pissed off with Yong and feeling a little rebellious, so,” he shrugged, “I decided to fuck with the job for a moment.”

“Wow,” Johnny whistled approvingly, “I gotta say, even for you that’s pretty ballsy, man.”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun laughed, “What you gonna do, report it to Taeyong?” He meant his words as an obvious joke, but they were spoken with an unsubtle hint of worry, Johnny realising just how torn up Jaehyun had been feeling about this for the past few days.

“Nah, now I just see us as equal.”

“An eye for an eye, huh?”

“More like a secret for a secret.” He countered, “Look, you had a gut feeling about Ten and me for weeks, right? But you never told anyone. I’m not going to rat you out over something as simple as petty theft.”

“Thanks,” Jaehyun breathed, clasping Johnny on the shoulder just as the nurse who was working that evening, stepped through the door.

“Visiting hours are over now,” she said, ushering Jaehyun out of the room before he even had a proper chance to say goodbye.

“I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” Johnny smiled, putting down his own unfinished drink and busying himself with holding Ten’s hands, his gently warmed fingers rubbing soothing circles against Ten’s dry skin. “And I mean it, you don’t have to worry. Ten’s not going to hold this against you either.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun nodded, still sounding uncertain despite Johnny’s best efforts to reassure him. He slipped away then, leaving before Johnny had a chance to say anything more.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to go home for the night?” The same nurse asked, her kind, but firm words grabbing Johnny’s attention as she finished checking Ten over.

“Sorry,” Johnny shook his head, sheepish expression falling onto his face as he realised just how much of a nuisance he was probably being.

“Okay,” the nurse replied, “we’ll be in throughout the night, but don’t hesitate to call if you think something might have changed.”

Johnny thanked her, eyes falling back on Ten’s sleeping form as he placed a kiss against his knuckles.

Falling asleep while sat in an upright chair, in a never properly dark hospital room, was surprisingly easy when you were running on bags of depleted adrenaline, two tasteless coffees and around four hours of decent sleep. Johnny not even noticing that he’d drifted off, his head resting against Ten’s knees, until he was woken again by the feeling of fingers trailing softly through his hair. For a few minutes he didn’t stir, dreams swirling into images of Ten, as he pressed himself unconsciously into the touch. It was then, as a barely audible croak of a laugh echoed around the room, that Johnny knew exactly what it meant, head shooting up and eyes blinking open as he stared into the tired but very much awake eyes of Ten.

“Shh, go back to sleep, you looked so peaceful.” Ten whispered, failing to clear his dry throat as he let out a quiet cough.

Johnny, who knew there was no chance he’d be falling asleep again, began to laugh out of disbelief — eyes blinking into the light of the room. “Ten,” He smiled, leaning forward to gently cradle his face between his hands, “you’re awake.” He stated rather obviously, his words pulling another laugh, followed by a louder cough out of Ten.

“Are you crying?” Ten teased back, uncoordinated hands moving to wipe away the stray tears of relief that had in fact fallen onto Johnny’s cheeks, as a smile, so bright that Johnny could almost forget where they were, illuminated the room. “Something tells me it’s been a dramatic few days… how long have I been out for?”

Shaking his head, Johnny let out a watery chuckle. He placed a quick kiss against Ten’s hairline, before moving to press the call button. “I’ll explain everything later, right now you need to see a doctor.” He stated, scrubbing a hand over his tired eyes as he waited for a member of staff to arrive.

Ten only nodded, keeping his eyes on Johnny and watching him hover between the door and the bed. He seemed rather content while he observed, lids heavy and lips dry as he rested comfortably.

It didn’t take long before a couple of staff members were making their way into the room: a doctor, who’d been part of the team that had treated Ten over the past two days, being lead in by the nurse who had seen him earlier. “It’s good to see you awake, Ten. How are you feeling?” Asked the doctor, her kind words being followed by different technical terms andmedical questions that Johnny didn’t quite understand.

Seeing that Ten was being looked after he decided to take a moment for himself, using the distraction of staff to relax for the first time in forty-eight hours. He sunk into a chair on the other side of the room, watching quietly as the medical professionals checked Ten over.

From time to time, Ten would send a glance in his direction, smile widening whenever their gaze met, and eyes shining with a giddy kind of mischief that made Johnny feel like he had missed some kind of in-joke. Instead of thinking too much about it, Johnny would always smile back, making sure to keep himself well out of the way while the staff did whatever they needed to do, before settling Ten back into his bed.

“Right, we’re all finished here now. We’ll be back around in the morning to check on you again. But until then, is there anything we can help you with?” Smiled the nurse, her eyes flicking between both Johnny and Ten to let them know that they were both included in that statement.

“Yeah, actually,” Ten grinned, his voice sounding a lot clearer now that he’d had a drink, “Has my Johnny been okay while I’ve been asleep?” He joked, the mischievous glances suddenly making a lot more sense as both the nurse and the doctor shared a smile.

“Oh you know, he’s been alright. Just the normal amount of lovesick pining.” Replied the nurse. She sent a playful wink in Johnny’s direction, patting Ten on the knee before moving towards the exit. “Although, I’m sure he’ll be a lot better now.” She added. Ten thanked them both quietly, eyes remaining locked on Johnny as a new softness flooded his gaze.

As soon as the door was closed, he beckoned Johnny over, patting the space beside him and not looking satisfied until Johnny had perched himself comfortably on the bed. “ _Your_ Johnny?” Johnny whispered, brushing his fingers through the soft waves of Ten’s hair as he let out a laugh.

“Too much?” Ten asked, pulling one of his dry lips between his teeth as his smile somehow became softer.

“No,” Johnny shook his head, “I like being all yours.”

Ten couldn’t help but grin at that, shaking his head fondly at what Johnny had said. “I’m sorry for making you worry.” He added — apologies quiet, gentle and completely unnecessary.

“Don’t be,” Johnny assured, “neither of us knew this would happen.”

“The doctor told me I’ve been in and out of consciousness for the past day. And that I was in surgery and under anaesthetic before that. Have you been home at all during that time?”

“Well, I wasn’t here while you were in surgery. Jaehyun took me back to his place and forced me into something dry…” Johnny explained, “but as soon as they took you to this room, I’ve been here. So that’s uh… no… I haven’t been home.”

“Is this your second night here?”

“Yes,” Johnny laughed, “why, is it obvious?”

Ten hummed in agreement, fingers of his uninjured arm moving to brush against the day old stubble that had formed on Johnny’s chin, “You need a shave.” He chuckled, words not holding a hint of judgment as he continued to caress his face.

“You’re one to talk.” Johnny shot back, the two of them falling into quiet laughter as they once again gravitated towards each other. “I’m so relived you’re awake.” He whispered moments later, arms bracing themselves on either side of Ten’s bed as he gazed down at the man he loved.

“Me too,” Ten agreed, “now give me the kiss I’ve been dreaming about for the past two days.” He teased, fingers pulling gently at Johnny’s top as he coaxed him down.

Johnny was all too happy to comply, cupping Ten’s jaw as he closed the space between them. The kiss was soft, and familiar. Ten’s dry lips pressing into Johnny’s plush ones as they lost themselves in the moment of comfort that they both so badly needed. Bellow him, Ten let out a sigh of contentment, eyes fluttering closed. Johnny’s eyes did the same, he stroked his thumb across the rise of Ten’s cheekbone, humming into the kiss as a new ember of warmth fluttered to life within him, before he was pulling away: “So you’ve been dreaming of that, huh?” He teased, lips quirking into a smile as he continued to gaze at Ten.

“No,” Ten admitted with a laugh, “I can’t actually remember any of my dreams over the past two days, but it was a good line, right?”

“It was,” Johnny agreed, smile splitting his face as he leant down for one last kiss. “Are you tired?” He asked once he’d sat up again, noticing the way Ten’s eyes were blinking slower and slower.

“I am,” Ten nodded, “but I’ve only just woken up.” He complained, as if he was annoyed at his body for letting him down and needing another rest after two days of sleep.

“Yeah, well that’s normal. You’ve got to let your body recover.”

“And you don’t?” Ten quipped back, “Maybe you should go home Johnny. I’m alright now, and you need to get some rest.” He sounded genuinely concerned, as if Johnny’s exhaustion was far worse than the fact that he had literally been shot.

“Later,” Johnny settled on feeling reluctant to leave Ten’s side when he’d only just woken up. “For now, just let me sleep in the same room as you.”

“Okay,” Ten agreed without a fight, attempting to shift himself in order to make more room for Johnny beside him.

“Ten,” Johnny couldn’t help but laugh, “there’s no way I’ll be able to fit in this bed with you.”

Ten grinned back, “I disagree,” he stated, motioning for Johnny to help him move, and laughing when he did just that. After a couple of minutes of careful shuffling and rearranging, Ten was satisfied with the amount of room they both had, lifting up the blanket and encouraging Johnny to join him.

“The staff are gonna scold me for this,” He stated, slipping off his shoes and clambering in beside Ten, while being incredibly careful not to touch or knock his injured shoulder, or tangle himself in the drip. Once he was settled, he wrapped an arm around Ten’s back, pulling him gently towards his chest. There was something incredibly comforting about resting beside Ten, Johnny exhaling for the first time in days as he held him close.

“I’ll just tell them it was my idea.” Ten yawned, settling into the crook of Johnny’s arm as his eyes began to slip shut.

“Sleep well, Ten.” Johnny whispered, allowing his own mind to drift off as the feeling of Ten breathing next to him lulled him into sleep.

***

As expected, Johnny was indeed scolded come the morning, the nurse who greeted them not looking at all angry as she shook her head fondly at the couple — reminding them of the risks of sharing a bed at this time.

Truth be told, Johnny didn’t pay her much attention, eyes tracing over Ten as he blinked softly up at him. “Morning,” Ten croaked, “did you sleep alright?”

“More than alright,” Johnny nodded, feeling better rested than he had in the entire two days since they arrived at the hospital, despite his completely dead arm, and slightly cricked neck, “you?”

“I had the best sleep,” Ten agreed, allowing Johnny to help him into a sitting position as he retracted his arm from around Ten’s back.

True to Johnny’s word, he didn’t stay long that morning, eating a relatively unsatisfactory hospital breakfast with Ten, before allowing himself to be sent home.

“I’ll be fine,” Ten assured, “You need to take care of yourself as well.” He sent Johnny off with a kiss and a bright smile, promising to see him again later on.

It felt weird driving away from the hospital. Wrong even, as if he was making a terrible mistake by putting himself first for once. But ultimately, Ten was right, and Johnny could do with some rest and a proper shower, the underlying ache in his muscles reminding him that he still hadn’t gotten a full night’s rest.

Shoved haphazardly into the back seat of his car, lay his suitcase and rucksack — zips bulging on both bags as crumpled clothes and personal possessions did their best to cascade out. The clothes he was dressed in were still slightly creased from where they themselves had been hurriedly stuffed, and as Johnny gabbed his things, he couldn’t help but wonder absentmindedly whether or not he’d be having to unpack it all over again.

He chose not to worry about that for now, taking out the key to his apartment, that Jaehyun had kindly returned to him, and walking back into his place.

His apartment, was in just as much of a mess as he had thought it would be: dresser and cupboards thrown wide open and left hanging gauntly from his panicked rush through the place, and unimportant possessions strewn carelessly across every surface. It was a mess, and Johnny couldn’t help but sigh a little as he manoeuvred himself through the room, picking up a few discarded items as he went, and putting them back in their rightful places.

Unzipping his suitcase, Johnny selected a fresh set of clothes, jumping into the shower and allowing the warm soapy water to wash out the stench of hospital disinfectant from his hair. He hadn’t realised just how much he needed a good refresh, feeling all the tensions and stresses from the past few days run out of him like a heavy rain storm.

He allowed himself to have a nap after that, his body still tired despite his better night’s rest, while he relaxed into the familiar comfort of his bed; safe in the knowledge, for the first time in his life, that things were going to change for the better.

***

There was a visiter in Ten’s hospital room when Johnny arrived later that day, his body stopping by the closed door as he glanced through the window and saw an emotional looking Yangyang embracing Ten in a tight hug. They pulled apart after a long while, Yangyang rubbing hurriedly at his eyes as he tried to distract from the fact that he had obviously been crying. He froze when he caught sight of Johnny; his reaction making Ten look up and over in his direction.

Beckoning him in, Ten began to smile, stretching out his hand to Johnny as he watched him cross the short distance between the door and the bed: “You look fresher,” he commented, giving Johnny’s cleaned up appearance a not at all subtle once over, before Johnny leaned in to kiss him hello. There was something very fulfilling about showing these kinds of casual displays of affection in front of another person, Johnny enjoying the normality of it all as Ten hummed happily into the kiss.

“I could say the same for you,” he smiled, pulling away and pretending not to notice the way Yangyang’s eyes had darted towards the ceiling.

Ten couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Thanks, they let me shower and shave and stuff this morning as long as I didn’t get my shoulder wet.”

“I’m sure that was a sight,” said Johnny with a cocked eyebrow, the two of them sharing a laugh before they were reminded of the third person in the room.

“Um…” Yangyang started, clearing his throat loudly and bringing both pairs of eyes towards him, “Johnny…” he continued, standing from his seat while keeping his head bowed. “I’m sorry for trying to shoot you. And I know these words can never excuse the pain I’ve caused you both, but I hope you can understand my mistake. I really am sorry, I never wanted something like this to happen.”

“I know,” Johnny nodded, “And I don’t hold any of this against you.” He explained, his statement forcing Yangyang’s eyes back up as he looked at him with mild horror.

“You don’t?”

“No,” he laughed, “things were getting out of hand, and I was acting recklessly. You were the only person brave enough to stop me, and you were acting to save Doyoung. I know I would have done the same thing if I was in your position.”

“You forgive me? Just like that?” It was obvious from his tone of voice that Yangyang couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of Johnny’s mouth. Eyes wide, and expression open. For the first time in their short meeting, Johnny couldn’t help but think about just how young he looked.

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, watching as the younger man’s stance relaxed. For a second it looked as if he was going to rush over and give him a hug, but he stopped himself, clearing his throat and standing to his full hight as he moved to leave the room.

“Thank you,” he stated very matter-of-factly, looking from one man to the other as if they had just gifted him something wonderful, “I’ll let you rest now, Ten.” He added, giving them both a small smile before leaving the room.

“He’s gonna be alright,” Ten sighed, words sounding like more of a reminder to himself than to anyone else as he squeezed hold of Johnny’s hand.

“He will.” Johnny agreed.

***

“Jaehyun came to visit this morning,” it had been an hour or so since Johnny had arrived, both Ten and him chatting happily together as staff came by make sure they were both alright. They had been alone for a few minutes when Ten spoke up again, eyeing Johnny carefully as if watching to see his reaction.

“Did he? I totally forgot to tell him that you’d woken up. Or let him know that I wasn’t gonna be here for that matter. I hope he wasn’t too worried.” Johnny mused, pulling his phone out of his pocket and double checking that he hadn’t received any messages.

“He didn’t mind,” Ten assured, “I think he was just happy to see me awake and to know that you were getting some rest of your own. Besides, he actually wanted to chat to me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Ten laughed, “He was talking about you, I get the impression that he thinks you’re slightly crazy after forgiving him so easily. So of course, he wanted to get my side of the anger instead. I’m not sure what he was expecting really, but for me to accept his apology definitely wasn’t it.”

“He talked about me?”

“He did…” Ten nodded, “ Actually, he explained everything: how he found out about us, how Taeyong found out, how you reacted at the warehouse…” he trailed off for a moment, lacing his fingers with Johnny’s, “He also explained that he was the one to give you the gun. Even when he left, I could see he still felt terrible about it all, but honestly, I’m not angry. And maybe that’s stupid to admit, but it’s not going to change how I feel.”

“He told you all of that?” Johnny hummed, mentally unpacking Ten’s words as he tried to workout how he felt about Jaehyun spilling all of the information. In the end, he came to the conclusion that he was relived. After all, Ten had a right to know, and despite Johnny wanting to tell him himself, a part of him just wasn’t ready to relive that night. Not yet, not when everything was still so fresh.

“Yes, and for what it’s worth, I’m glad I know.”

“I am too,” Johnny breathed out a sigh, “I mean, don’t get me wrong I was fully prepared to tell you everything and answer any of your questions, but I’m still trying to get my head around a lot of things as well, and honestly, I think Jaehyun knows more than me by this point. Hopefully he’ll be able to move on now.”

Instead of replying, Ten just squeezed his hand, meeting his gaze with a smile.

“Has anyone else been round today?” Johnny couldn’t help but ask, curiosity of whether either leader had stopped by yet getting the better of him before he could stop himself.

“No.” Ten shook his head, pressing his lips together into a thin line, “Although, I have a feeling it won’t be long till we have to face them.” He added, zeroing in on the meaning behind Johnny’s words as if he could read his mind.

Johnny stayed by his side until visiting hours ended, the two of them keeping their spirits high with light conversation, while they chatted to staff and the occasional visitor alike. In the end however, he did have to leave, a member of the ward staff politely letting him know that it was time to go, as Ten once again became drowsy “I’ll see you tomorrow,” He said when he went to stand, allowing Ten to pull him in for a goodbye kiss before heading towards the door.

“It’s a date!” Ten teased back, seeming almost back to the playful version of himself that Johnny had come to know over the past few months.

***

For the next five days, Ten continued to get better, the doctor commenting on his good recovery, and working to get him up and moving before the start of his second week in hospital.

Day after day he showed new improvements, going from strength to strength as he, slowly but surely, worked to lessen the pain relief he was on, and get himself to a state where they would allow him to be discharged.

He had been dozing in the early afternoon, after a particularly large change in dosage, when Johnny was disturbed from the magazine he had been skim reading by a knock at the door. Looking up with a smile on his face, Johnny expected to see Jaehyun, ready to beckon him him when instead he came face to face with Taeyong.

Johnny’s expression dropped.

Widening his eyes, he tried to think of some way to get out of his current situation, standing to block Ten from the leaders advances.

However, before he could come up with any kind of escape plan, Taeyong opened the door: “I’m not here to fight,” He explained, holding up both hands as a sign of surrender, “I just want to talk.”

Stood awkwardly by Ten’s bed, Johnny reluctantly nodded, motioning for Taeyong to take the seat beside him as he tried to control the sudden surge of anxiety that had flooded his body.

Over the past five days, neither Taeyong or Doyoung had once shown their faces in Ten’s hospital room. The two leaders using their power, money and contacts to get him in, and get him a private room, before disappearing back into whatever warehouse corner they chose to bide their time in. Johnny, despite both Jaehyun and Ten’s words of needing to face them eventually, had hoped it would stay that way, palms turning sweaty and heart plummeting in his chest, as he waited for Taeyong to speak.

The words: “How is he?” Were the last things Johnny was expecting to hear. His body, that had been bracing itself for the worst, tentatively relaxing as his eyes moved from Taeyong, back to Ten.

“He’s getting better.” He explained, “Just resting.”

“I’m glad,” Taeyong nodded. Sighing loudly, he shook his head; Johnny watching as his old boss pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning to face him directly. “I’ve come to apologise.”

“You have?” Johnny deadpanned, regretting the blunt delivery as soon as it had slipped out. _He’s not that kind of friend anymore,_ he warned himself, keeping his eyes on Ten as he waited for Taeyong’s reaction. 

Instead of anger, however, Taeyong just huffed out a laugh; a small, but genuine smile flicking onto his face as he shook his head again: “That’s fair,” His lips quirked, “but I’m telling the truth. I’m sorry, Johnny. For all the distress and hurt I’ve caused you over the past few days, as well as the way I’ve been treating you over the past months. I know it’s not an excuse, but things changed when I stepped into the lead position, and I regret that. You see,” he continued, clearing his throat as he shifted awkwardly on his seat. He kinda reminded Johnny of the young Taeyong he had grown up with: all skinny and lanky, limbs uncoordinated and too long. It’s was sad to think of how much was different now. “This is gonna sound stupid, but when I heard about you being seen with Ten, my first thought wasn’t about the fact that you had fallen in love, or that you had been hiding your happiness from us, but that if Ten was part of the enemy, then you must be plotting against us… I know,” he sucked a breath through his teeth, “sounds pretty fucking paranoid, right?”

Johnny didn’t answer.

“Anyway, I took that anger— that paranoia out on you… on both of you. And I didn’t even stop to consider what might have actually been going on.”

“So, what made you help?” Johnny asked carefully, keeping his voice level despite the strong mix of emotions that swirled around his brain, “I mean, I may not have been working against you, but I was still with Ten, why would you step in and help?”

“We received a notice from Doyoung saying that if he ever saw you on his territory again, he’d kill you.” Taeyong explained, “Well, I had a feeling I knew where you’d be heading, and despite everything, you’re still my right hand man — and before that, you were my friend. And I just knew I couldn’t stand around with the knowledge that you could be dead before the end of the hour — empty threats or not.” He explained, voice almost unfamiliarly soft as he continued to speak: “I arrived just in time to hear Ten talking, and it all just kinda hit me at once: how could I be comfortable denying something I myself was never allowed to have…” he seemed to trail off then, lips thinning into a line as if he was afraid to say anymore. 

Johnny had a feeling he was talking about Doyoung.

“So I guess the point I’m trying to make here is: Is there anything I can do to make you stay as a member of Neon — as my right hand man?”

“No.” Johnny answered, eyes firm and jaw set as he looked Taeyong in the eye.

Taeyong sighed, “Well, worth a shot, right? You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do.” Johnny confirmed without an ounce of shame, warmth settling into his chest as he trailed his eyes away from Taeyong, and onto Ten, “But if it makes you feel any better, this is my own decision.” Johnny continued, still feeling obligated to explain himself despite everything that had happened between him and his old leader, “Leaving was something I’d been thinking about long before anything with Ten ever started. These past couple of months have only cemented how I feel. He helped me realise exactly what I wanted.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Taeyong nodded, leaning forward on his knees as he stared down at the hospital flooring, ”I mean, you never were one to fight much as a kid. It always kinda surprised me that you trailed into this life after me anyway.”

“We’re friends, what else was I supposed to do?”

At that Taeyong laughed, aiming his gaze at the ceiling as he shook his head: “Well, I wouldn’t expect you to feel that way anymore.”

“I don’t hate you, Taeyong.” Johnny stated, because as much as it shocked himself to say it, it was true. He didn’t hate Taeyong, and probably couldn’t even if he wanted to.

“I should hope not.” Taeyong sniffed, “I mean, after everything.”

“I don’t hate Doyoung either.”

“Well now I know you’re just talking shit. Have you been steeling some of Ten’s pain medication or something?”

It felt good to be joking like that again, the two of them sharing a quiet laugh as if the past week had never happened. As if the past three months had never happened. But unfortunately, nothing could change the events that had taken place, and sooner than either of them would have liked the laughter died down, and Taeyong stood to leave.

“Right,” he began, “I’m sure both you and Ten will have a lot to deal with once he’s been discharged from hospital, so I promise to give you two months from after Ten has fully recovered to let me know what you plan to do. Whether you stay here, or choose to move away is completely up to you. However, just know that if you do decide to stay, Neon won’t have anything to do with you anymore.” He explained, hand already reaching for the door handle as he readied himself to leave.

“Understood, Boss.” Johnny nodded with a final mock salute, smile flicking onto his face as Taeyong grimaced.

“Just Taeyong is fine,” he huffed, “I never liked that title anyway.”

“Okay,” Johnny smiled, “and thank you, Taeyong, for actually coming to talk to me. It means a lot.” He concluded, watching with a bittersweet ache in his gut as Taeyong returned the gesture before closing the door behind him on what might possibly be the last time they ever saw each other.

“Is he gone?” Asked Ten from his bed, cracking open an eyelid, as he fixed his sights on Johnny.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Since he arrived.” Ten admitted, pushing his body upwards while he carefully stretched out the aches in his limbs.

“So you heard all of that, huh?”

“I did.” Ten nodded, “And you have nothing to worry about. You did well.”

Johnny was about to reply, words of thanks on the tip of his tongue when he was interrupted by yet another knock at the door. “Do you have a moment?” The unmistakable voice of Doyoung spoke into the room, his figure appearing in Johnny’s peripheral vision as Ten narrowed his eyes.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Johnny offered, noting the tension in the room and feeling somewhat responsible for it.

“Actually, you may as well stay,” countered Doyoung with a sigh, at the exact same time as Ten grasped onto his hand, “it will probably make more sense if I speak with you both together.” He settled himself into the chair Taeyong had been sat in seconds before, crossing his leg politely over his knee and folding his hands in his lap. “I’m glad to catch you awake, Taeyong told me you had been resting when he came by.”

“You spoke to Taeyong?” Johnny spluttered, unable to believe the words that were coming out of the rival leaders mouth.

“Yes,” Doyoung nodded, “we’ve been in conversation about a multitude of different topics over the past few days.” Johnny felt even more dumbfounded by that, failing to control his expression as beside him, Doyoung let out a quiet laugh. “I can understand your confusion. Taeyong and I have a… complicated past, to say the least.”

In front of them, Ten seemed a lot less trusting. He continued to glare, raising his chin as he addressed the gang leader: “What do you want, Doyoung? Spit it out, I know you’re not really here just to make friendly chitchat.” He scorned, his words electing yet another sigh out of the new arrival.

“Much like Taeyong, I’m here to apologise.” Doyoung explained, glancing between both Ten and Johnny as he spoke: “I’m sorry that things escalated in the way they did that night. And believe me when I say, I would have rather not had to deal with you at all,” he shot back, his apology sounding a little empty despite the clear eye contact he held with them both. “But I’m also here to discus other matters, most importantly your future with the Emeralds.” And there it was, the true reason for his visit flowing seamlessly into the conversation. Johnny couldn’t say he was surprised, if Doyoung had had his way that night, Johnny probably wouldn’t be alive, and Doyoung definitely wouldn’t be apologising for that. “After some discussion, we’ve come to the conclusion that, if you so choose, you will be allowed to leave — no consequences. As long as you don’t mind breaking the promise your father made, and agree to leave behind your family for good.” He explained, the conditions of Ten’s departure obviously meant to deter him from the idea.

Ten however didn’t even blink before he was agreeing: “That’s fine,” he nodded, “I never wanted the Emeralds protection to begin with. I just want out.”

“Of course,” Doyoung continued, looking a little irritated at Ten’s certainty, “there’s nothing I can personally do to move you out of your current property. As that’s your family’s. But let’s just say, I wouldn’t recommend staying there forever.”

“I don’t plan to,” Ten snapped back, not liking the hint of threat that hung clear in the leaders words. “Don’t worry, Doyoung, I’ll be out of your territory as soon as I can be.” Johnny squeezed his hand as he spoke, keeping him rooted, and reminding him that he was safe despite his own want to run as fast from the Emerald’s leader as his feet could possibly carry him.

There was a pause, Doyoung casting his eyes between the two men as he let out a breath of his own: “You know, things might have been a lot different if we had both lead the Emeralds together. It was what our fathers had originally wanted.”

“No point crying over missed opportunities,” Ten shrugged, “I’m not my father.”

“And neither am I.” Agreed Doyoung, “You knew my father, if I was anything like him, do you think I’d be letting you go so easily?”

“No, I don’t.” Ten said, darting his eyes away from Doyoung, “But, if you ever felt like doing something to… _commemorate_ my time with the Emeralds,” he rolled his eyes, “then you could always make sure this kind of thing doesn’t repeat itself. Look after the members, Doyoung, especially Yangyang. Don’t break anyone, like you tried to break me.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Doyoung agreed, standing from his chair as if he had heard all he needed from Ten. “Thank you for hearing me out, contact me once you’ve decided what you plan to do.” He finished, nodding first in Ten’s directions, and then in Johnny’s as he made his way towards the door.

“Oh, Doyoung, one more thing:” Ten called out, his words cutting through the room and stopping the leader before he had a chance to disappear, “Why did you save me?” He asked, voice suddenly becoming strangely distant as he spoke, as if the question had been plaguing his mind for some time now. “I mean, you had all the opportunity to get rid of me once and for all, and yet you stepped in… What changed your mind?”

Glancing back over his shoulder, Doyoung only twitched his lips: “Once an Emerald.” Was all he said, tone of voice conveying nothing but finality before we was bidding them a quiet goodbye and leaving for good.

“What did he mean by that?” Johnny questioned, turning to face Ten in the hope that he would be able to explain.

Ten just rolled his eyes, looking past him with a sour expression as he watched the space Doyoung had just left. “Always an Emerald.” He finished, completing the gang motto for the final time.

***

Ten was discharged the next day. He was sent home with strict instructions on how to look after his wound, an assortment of medications, and an appointment to get his dressing changed already in the works. Johnny, of course, had been there to collect him, hoisting his bag over his shoulder, and thanking the staff for their time and their care, before leaving hand in hand with Ten. No one else had been there to see them off: not Taeyong, or Doyoung or even Jaehyun or Yangyang. The lack of either gang making it clear just how far removed they already were from the life they used to live.

It was weird making the drive back to Ten’s place after everything that had happened. The roads were quiet, the air was still, and there was this unmissable anxiety in the car. An anxiety that said: _I’m not sure if I’m ready to face this yet._

Neither of them spoke much throughout the drive, words not necessary as warm eyes, and the occasional small smile comforted all the conflicting emotions they were otherwise feeling. In all honesty, Johnny didn’t mind the silence, happy to grant Ten all the thinking time he needed, before they were taking the familiar exit off the main road, and pulling into Ten’s street.

Arriving at the scene of the fight was unnerving to say the least; two sets of eyes trailing over the road before landing on the spot Ten had been shot.

Unwelcome memories flashed into Johnny’s mind, he shook his head, reminding himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead instead of in the past. As expected, the street was completely clear by that point: blood stained concrete washed clean by the rain, and any signs of the show down erased by the passing of time.

Together, they persevered; Johnny parking in his new space directly outside Ten’s house and turning to his boyfriend with a comforting smile: “Are you ready?” He asked. Ready for what, he wasn't so sure. To see the place he had nearly bled out in? To return to the house he’d felt trapped in for years? Or perhaps to face the change?

“I think so.” Ten confirmed, seeming to have his own idea of what Johnny’s question was supposed to mean. His voice was level as he spoke, eyes set on the building in front of him as he took one last steadying breath, and exited the car.

It appeared Ten’s house had also been cleaned within an inch of its life while he was away. Everything was back just where it was supposed to be: the living room was clean and clear of any traces of rain, the bathroom cupboard had been fully restocked with any equipment that had been used, and even Ten’s suitcase had been stored away under his bed. They didn’t venture into the kitchen just yet (although Johnny was sure it would be just as clean as they rest of the place), neither of them feeling brave enough to see the place Ten had been taken to.

Although Johnny’s memories of that night were blurry at best, he could clearly remember the sight of Ten lying in agony on the kitchen table; his mind drifting in and out of consciousness as both gang medics did all they could do, to stop the bleeding.

“It’s odd being back,” Ten sighed as he sat himself down on his bed, rummaging briefly through the things that littered his bedside table before emerging victorious with a half smoked packet of cigarettes clasped in his hand. Due to being in hospital, he hadn’t had the chance to smoke in the last seven days. Now he blamed his shaking hands on this fact alone, nimble fingers working to remove two sticks from the carton, and offering one to Johnny.

Johnny didn’t hesitate before accepting. Fishing his lighter out from his pocket, he leant forward, lighting the cigarette between Ten’s lips, before his own. It wasn’t long before smoke was once again curling its way through the bedroom, the clouds of off-white cleansing the place of that strong disinfectant smell, and mixing with the scent of hospital on Ten’s skin.

Ten seemed to relax a little then, carefully lounging himself back against his assortment of pillows and exhaling as the past week began to melt away around them.”What do we do now?” He asked into the silence, fresh lungful of smoke accompanying his words and obscuring the space in front of his eyes as he gazed up softly at Johnny.

_What do we do now?_ The question with a million answers.

In reality, there were so many things the two men could be doing. So many things they _should_ be doing. Number one being _actually_ deciding what they wanted to do, now that they were officially free. From the way Ten spoke, Johnny knew that this was what he was referring to, but instead of breaching that subject just yet, he let out a hum of consideration and smiled: “How about we start with some coffee?”

“Coffee?” Ten laughed out of disbelief.

“Yeah, I don’t know about you, but my mind will work a lot quicker once I’ve had my first intake of caffeine.”

“Okay,” Ten agreed, pushing himself up from his bed and moving past Johnny, “you coming?” He asked from the door way, crooking his fingers as if to coax him over. Johnny just laughed at the sight, allowing himself to be pulled forward as he too exited the room.

The kitchen, as expected, was perfectly clean; the strong smell of bleach quickly becoming masked by the aroma of coffee and cigarette smoke as Johnny set a pot on to brew. He tried not to pay too much attention to his surroundings as he worked, going through the familiar process of making coffee instead of allowing his mind to wander far.

Ten, on the other hand, forced his eyes to scan around.

Setting his sight on the freshly washed table top, he took a drag of his cigarette; running his hand absentmindedly against the surface, as he sat himself down in an empty chair.

To the side of the table, lying closed, was his knife. The embedded jewel glinted in the midday light, catching Ten’s attention and pulling a bitter chuckle out of him. “You know, it’s funny,” he huffed, “my father wanted this knife to protect me, and the one time I don’t have it with me, I end up getting shot.” It wasn’t funny, and Johnny didn’t even manage to fake a laugh of his own as he poured out two mugs of coffee and brought them both over to the table. 

“Hey,” He whispered, easing the discarded weapon out of Ten’s grasp and replacing it with the steaming cup.

“Sorry,” Ten looked away, “that wasn’t funny at all, was it?” Johnny didn’t comment, “It’s just getting shot really puts things into perspective. It makes your appreciate the little things that you never even think of.” He stated, allowing Johnny to pull up a chair, and accepting the kiss he planted against his temple. “Like if I had died—”

“—Ten,” Johnny murmured, he didn’t like thinking about this, not when Ten was alive and almost perfectly well right by his side. Not after he had agonised over that exact statement throughout the days of uncertainty.

Ten, however, needed to talk about it, tightening his hold on his mug while his eyes stayed locked to the ornate handle of his mothers knife. “If I had died,” he repeated, “would I have been happy with the life I lived?” There was a beat of silence. Johnny attempted to swallow the lump in his throat as he watched Ten close his eyes — eyebrows pulling harshly together. “I’m still not sure I have the answer to that,” He confessed, “I just know that before I passed out, I desperately wanted to survive. I wasn’t ready to die… I wasn’t ready to leave you.”

To his side, Johnny just nodded, unable to speak as the first silent tears rolled themselves down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why he was crying — an accumulation of emotions from the last seven days catching up with him in one massive wave as he became aware of just how close he could have been to losing Ten. His silence had Ten looking up, gaze falling on watery eyes as his expression became impossibly tender. “I’m sorry,” Johnny took a shuddering breath, rubbing his hands across his face as yet more tears continued to spill, “I just don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t made it.”

“Hey,” Ten hushed, putting down his coffee, and grinding the end of his cigarette into a near by ashtray, “Johnny it’s okay, you’re allowed to feel this way, you’ve been so strong over this past week and you’re allowed let this pain out.” He assured, pulling Johnny into his arms as his own eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

“You should hate me.” Johnny cried, the guilt he had been holding onto welling up once again as Ten did his best to soothe him. “If anyone’s to blame it’s me.”

“Oh not you too,” Ten chuckled, pulling away to get a better look at Johnny’s face. “You know, you’re the third person who’s said those words to me. And I’m about to say to you exactly what I said to Jaehyun and Yangyang: I forgive you.”

Johnny just shook his head, “Jaehyun was just trying to help. And Yangyang was just doing his job. But Taeyong only got to you because of me. If I had just been quiet. If I had just ignored my loyalty for five minutes he wouldn’t have ever even considered bringing you into any of this.” He explained, waiting for the penny to drop and the realisation to sink in. Waiting for Ten to push him away.

The moment, however, never came, when instead of yelling or rejecting him for good, Ten just smiled: “I forgive you.” He repeated, “Johnny I forgive you. We had known each other for less than a day when you told Taeyong about me. I would be a hell of a lot more shocked if you hadn’t stayed loyal to your gang.” He concluded, not giving Johnny a chance to argue back as he tilted his chin up. “We’ve all made mistakes, and this one isn’t going to take away from the past three months. It isn’t going to take away from the fact that I love you, okay?” Johnny couldn’t do much more but nod, allowing Ten to brush his tears away as he finally watched all the pent up guilt, from the past few months, leave him.

The kisses they shared that afternoon were filled with all the longing and hurt from the past few days; arms holding one another close as their lips moved almost languidly together. It was healing in its own kind of way, their bodies and minds comfortable as the day moved on without them.

***

“What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do?” The question seemed to come out of nowhere, Johnny gazing down at a sleepy eyed Ten, as the two of them woke up together.

After their emotional day, the couple had taken themselves off to bed early, hiding in the soft layers of Ten’s covers as eyes dried and tears were replaced with quiet whispers. Because of that, Johnny wanted to start their day off on a brighter foot, grinning as his boyfriend smiled up at him with a puzzled expression.

“Huh?” Ten asked, stifling a yawn behind his hand, while eyeing Johnny with confusion.

“You know,” Johnny laughed, “since we have our freedom now. What do you want to do with it?”

“Oh,” Ten blinked as if he had completely forgotten about the agreement made between them and their old bosses, “it almost doesn’t feel real.” Johnny could tell from the way his eyes gazed off just past Johnny that his question had given him a lot to think about, Ten naturally not even knowing where to start with just what he wanted to do. “For now,” he hummed, mind drifting back to the room and this time accompanied by a bright smile, “I think I just want to spend the day with you, without the underlying stress of being found out.”

“Yeah?” Johnny chuckled, “I think we can do that.” He agreed, carefully tackling Ten back into the pillows on his bed and beaming when his actions pulled out a giddy laugh.

It was a couple days later that the subject was once again brought up, Ten’s bed being swapped for the sofa as a quiet song played out in the background. “I think I want to sell this place.” Ten stated, looking up from his phone and over to Johnny as if the thought had just struck him.

Since being discharged from hospital, the two men had allowed themselves to take things slow; talking through their wants for the future and re-familiarising themselves with their individual dreams. So far, most of their time had been spent in Ten’s room, kisses shared like badly kept secrets that prying eyes could no longer disturb. It felt good to be out — to be free.

This, however, was the first time Ten had spoken clearly about the near future, talking less about the endless possibilities in front of them and more about the realistic short term goals.

“We’d probably be able to find somewhere comfortable to live with the money from the sale,” He continued to explain, grabbing a pad of paper from the coffee table and beginning to scribble down his thoughts. “And if you were happy to stop renting your apartment, we could put our funds together and think seriously about where we’d rather live.”

Moving away: it had always been in the back of Johnny’s mind. Their fanciful conversations only spurring the idea on until it had grown into a wishful future. Now, however, with their past lives far behind them, the reality was closer than ever. Johnny felt a glimmer of excitement flicker inside him as he listened to Ten ramble on, the warmth in his chest only growing when Ten turned to face him.

“What?” Ten grinned, sounding almost shy as he realised Johnny had been watching him the entire time.

“Nothing,” Johnny shook his head, “It just hit me how in love I am with you.” As the words left his mouth, he watched Ten’s expression soften, eyes scrunching as he pushed Johnny playfully away.

“You only just realised that now?” He Joked, moving forward in order to press a kiss against his lips. It was short and sweet, and exactly what Johnny wanted. “Anyway, you didn’t answer me? What are your thoughts on getting a place together?”

“When can I move in?” Johnny shot back, the laugh this elected from Ten being made all the more worthwhile, when his boyfriend leaned in to steal yet another kiss.

“God, I love you.” He sighed contently, chucking his note pad and pen to the side for a moment and focusing all his attention on Johnny.

***

After making his decision to move, Ten hadn’t hesitated before biting the bullet and contacting Doyoung. Making an offer to sell his place to the Emeralds as a _keep sake_ of his family’s evolvement in the gang, if they were willing to buy.

“Do you really think this will work?” Johnny commented, fixing Ten with a puzzled look after the other man had breached the subject.

“Who else is gonna buy a house on the Emerald’s territory?” Ten replied, flicking through the folders of property details that he had dug out of storage, as he set his plan into motion. Despite his doubts, Johnny had to admit that he had a point, Ten’s words ringing true soon after the first call had ended, when Doyoung came forward with an offer, that was _only just_ under Ten’s asking price. “It’s a deal,” Ten confirmed, agreeing to meet up and finalise the sale at a later point.

As was expected, the sale of his place to the Emeralds had gone very smoothly, Doyoung agreeing to complete on whatever day they decided to leave, as long as they were gone before Taeyong’s two months of protection had run out.

They set that date as a goal, working hard to sort through both of their belongings, while also looking for a new place to live.

Clearing his apartment wasn’t difficult at all, Johnny found, easing himself into the months of time they now had on their side, and making quick work of boxing up his possessions.

He had handed back his apartment key to his landlord later that month, taking his things and piling them into Ten’s already crowded living room. It was exciting to see their life stored up in boxes, and despite some of the difficulties that came with deciding what to keep, and what to get rid of, neither man regretted their decision, excitement only growing as they found a house that would be perfect for the two of them to share.

The day that they left the city, was a bright one. The air was still. The sky was open, and cloudless. There was a chill in the air, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was the kind of sharp refreshing breeze that would wake you up, and push you forward. The kind of cold where you didn’t mind the numb fingers or the red nose that came with it, because it was a new day, and you were alive.

It had been almost two months since Ten had been shot. Two months of being free, seven weeks of healing and one month of property searching. And now they were finally ready to leave.

By that point, all the hard work had been complete: they had finished packing, loaded up the moving van, and filled up Johnny’s car. And now, the only thing left to do was actually leave. “It feels like I’m finally letting them go.” Ten whispered, as he locked up one last time, his quiet admissions being met by a comforting arm around his shoulders. Letting them go, _letting his parents go_. As much as he had wanted to do that very thing for so many years, actually going through with it was a whole new experience. An experience, that he was happy to have Johnny by his side for.

Taking one last look at the property, he handed his keys over to Yangyang, the younger man accepting them with a kind smile before pulling Ten in for a final hug. Only he and Jaehyun had turned up to see them off, and in all honesty, Johnny and Ten preferred it that way — giving quiet goodbyes and well wishes before they were sliding into Johnny’s car: “You know,” Johnny started, winding down his window and aiming his words at Jaehyun, “this could be you one day.” He suggested, hoping his friend would find is way out of Neon sooner rather than later.

Jaehyun, however, only shook his head: “Nah,” he disagreed, “someone has to stay here to keep Taeyong in line. Besides, I can’t let the guys have all the fun without me.” He laughed, patting the roof of the car and taking a step away. “Be safe out there, yeah?” He grinned, seeming genuinely happy to watch them go, “Both of you.”

“Thank you, Jaehyun. For everything.” Ten replied, gaze softening while his eyes trailed over their friends and the familiar street, before Johnny put the car into gear.

There was an unplaceable feeling surrounding them as they watched Ten’s house disappear in the rearview mirror — one that Johnny couldn’t quiet decipher. Ten, however, knew exactly how to put it into words: “We did it,” he breathed, eyes flitting from the mirror, to Johnny, before off to the road ahead. “We finally did it.”

“We did,” Johnny couldn’t help but agree — smile blossoming onto his face as their entire future opened up in front of them.

Blue skies lined their pathway, the cold yellow of the morning sun guiding them as they moved forward. It seemed appropriate, Johnny smiled to himself, that the city would also be celebrating their departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! 
> 
> Ahh, it feels so great to finally have this fic finished and posted. I had been struggling with writers block for months when I stumbled across this WIP form the start of the year, and something about it gave me a burst of inspiration to get writing again.
> 
> I first want to say thank you to everyone that has left a kudos or a comment on this fic while I've been posting - and especially those of you that have left multiple comments!! Seeing your thoughts on each chapter has been incredibly motivating and means a huge amount to me, so thank you so much <33
> 
> I also want to thank my wonderful beta Teeg, for being such a big help to me throughout the entire process!! Any other mistakes are my own~~
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed!! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, and hopefully I'll see you in the next one <33


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